Attending bachelorette parties as a new mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Destination bachelorette party?
Now I’ve heard everything.

This is the norm and has been for decades

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you rich or something? This seems so pointless to me. Sure you could make it work but why would you? Id skip both and save that money for actual fun.

Lots of us consider girls' trips to be "actual fun!"

[Anonymous]

If you want to go the party - especially the U.S. one you should go. I went to two bachelorettes when my DC was <8 months. It was fun, but I definitely did need to figure out when I was going to pump and where.

You may have to pump in some less than comfortable places, but can still have a lot of fun! The baby will be absolutely fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have been fine leaving my baby for a long weekend at that age. (I was formula feeding by that point, if it makes a difference.) However I tend to use my limited political capital for grandparent babysitting toward trips with my DH, not girls' trips.

DH could also solo parent for the weekend so that you could go, why get the grandparents involved?

That is no fun for anyone with an 8mo old.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like deep down. You just don’t want to go. If that’s the case, then don’t.

If I’m incorrect, and you’re really just worried about leaving for two long weekends then don’t worry you will be fine and your baby will be fine. If that’s the case, then go.

[Anonymous]

Eight months is so easy enough to do this kind of stuff. If you really want to go, then go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An international bachelorette party? Oh hell no. What is wrong with people?

You are well within your bounds to bow out of one or both of these events.

+1 I wouldn't have done this pre-kids

I say this as someone who traveled to a LOT of weddings and bach parties

Don't have any interest in attending something in an intentionally inconvenient location

[Anonymous]

I never was into them. I'd pass. You have a great excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you rich or something? This seems so pointless to me. Sure you could make it work but why would you? Id skip both and save that money for actual fun.

This may come as a shock to you, but many of us consider trips to cool places with our friends to be "actual fun."

OP, I'd do it if I were you. Both trips. It's good for your DH to practice being the primary parent, and the 8mo will likely be sleeping through the night and cheerful and fun. It's a super cute age.

The pumping is the biggest pain - does your pump need to be plugged in? If so, consider buying one of those small hand pumps that you can use in a pinch if there is nowhere to plug in (i.e. the plane).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An international bachelorette party? Oh hell no. What is wrong with people?

You are well within your bounds to bow out of one or both of these events.

+100.

Go if the idea makes you excited and happy. And if you can afford it. It's good for your DH to solo parent. But at 8 months, there is NO WAY I would have had the energy or financial bandwidth to go on an International bachelorette party. Nope. I didn't have time off, because I burned it all when the baby was born. And then the minute I accrued some, the baby would be sick, and then I would be sick.

If you have to bow out, just say you want to make sure you have the time off to enjoy their weddings. Which is really the main event, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I wouldn’t go to either.

Being a bridesmaid is an honor, but it’s also a burden. It’s a burden you assume willingly for your friend as a favor to them on their wedding day. Being a bridesmaid at a destination wedding is a big favor.

Ideally, the point of a party (bachelorette or otherwise) would be for everyone to enjoy themselves together, not to place an additional burden on those who are already doing you a big favor.

If you want to go, think you’d enjoy yourself, and would see it as an opportunity rather than a burden, them by all means go and have fun. If you don’t want to mess with one or both, then wish the bride(s) well, let them enjoy their evening, and you enjoy yours.

Honestly, it should not be. It's absurd the demands people put on their friends. Your friends are spread out all over the place? Consider going out for drinks a couple nights before your wedding in the town where your wedding is taking place!

[Anonymous]

I think the more important question is do you WANT to go?