Attending bachelorette parties as a new mom
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Anonymous
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I’m a FTM in my early 30s and am a bridesmaid in two friends’ weddings in 2023. The bachelorette parties for these friends are scheduled a few weeks apart this spring when my baby will be 8 months old. Both are “destination” parties, which I expected since the invitees for both parties are spread out all over the country. One trip requires a 4 hour domestic flight and the other trip requires an international flight plus additional travel time to the destination. Since I’m a bridesmaid for both brides, I was initially planning on going on both trips. However, now that I think about it, it just seems like a lot (and a lot to ask of my husband to handle two weekends of solo parenting so close in time to each other). I’m now leaning toward just attending the party that’s here in the US and skipping the one that requires international travel. Two questions - first, does attending a destination bachelorette party (three day weekend) as a breastfeeding mom of an 8 month old seem doable/worth it? My baby is pretty easygoing now but I have no idea what she’ll be like at 8 months. Second, does it seem reasonable to attend just one of the parties and skip the other? I want to be there for both friends, but tbh I just don’t want to spend so much time away from my baby and am especially hesitant to go to a destination where I will not be able to easily head to the airport and jump on a flight back home if I need to.
The two brides are friends from different stages of my life and so there will not be any overlap in the groups attending these two parties. Both attending by my bachelorette party several years ago. Both would understand if I was unable to attend their parties because of the baby. While I wouldn’t feel great about going to one party and skipping the other, going to both feels like too much and one is much easier logistically to make it to than the other. What would others do in this situation? |
Anonymous
| 8 months was a great age for both of my kids. I wouldn't be too concerned about two long weekends away at that age. The memories from the trips with friends will be worth it I bet. These opportunities come up less and less as you progress. |
Anonymous
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The baby will be fine.
Your stress level and your husband's stress level is something you should take into consideration. I think you are fine just going to the easier/closer one if you feel like that is the right decision for your family. |
Anonymous
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An international bachelorette party? Oh hell no. What is wrong with people?
You are well within your bounds to bow out of one or both of these events. |
Anonymous
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Skip the international. I’ve pumped through lots of trips and it’s doable at 8 months. Your supply will be well established. I pumped about 4x a day and it was okay.
International pumping is harder. The flight is longer and it’s just hard to find places. I’ve flown through lots of European airports (London, Munich, rome) and it was hard to find open lactation rooms. They were all locked and there was no one to ask. At least in the US bathrooms are plentiful if need be. I dumped all milk on international trips. The logistics were too hard and I pumped in unsanitary places. |
Anonymous
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Paragraphs please! And edit.
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Anonymous
| I personally would not do it. I went on a one night trip a two hour flight away when my son was 6 or 7 months old and it was logistically difficult (pumping), but also my heart broke being away from him. Only you will know what seems right to you. I know a lot of people who would be completely fine with it, but the international trip especially would really give me pause. |
Anonymous
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Destination bachelorette party?
Now I’ve heard everything. |
Anonymous
| I’m surprised that people still act so appalled at the concept of a destination bachelorette party. Do all of your close friends live locally? My friends are spread out all over - on both coasts and some in cities in the middle of the country. I think that’s pretty common these days. Almost all of the bachelorette parties I’ve attended have been destination parties - not because the brides are high maintenance but because getting the bridal party together necessarily requires some people to fly so why not go somewhere fun? |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
Because it costs a lot of money and time. Why are bachelorette parties such a thing? |
Anonymous
| Good bonding for Dad and baby. Go and have fun. |
Anonymous
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Leave your DH out of the equation. He can handle one baby over the weekend.
Go if YOU want to go. I do not do destination bachelorette parties and didn’t do them when I was single. I set a wedding budget for being a bridesmaid, and destination parties don’t fit in them. Go, or don’t go, but don’t feel guilty for whatever choice you make. |
Anonymous
| Are you rich or something? This seems so pointless to me. Sure you could make it work but why would you? Id skip both and save that money for actual fun. |
Anonymous
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Go to both if you want to. Baby will be fine and DH should have no problem - in fact, could be a great experience for them to bond. My baby is six months and I’ve been away on four trips already. All have been great!
If you don’t want to go, that’s fine too but by 8 months, baby is not a great excuse. |