Grandma’s been secretly proselytizing with DC

[Anonymous]

I think the major issue isn't even the prayer or religion. It's creating secrecy and hiding it. That is a massive red flag to me.

I don't tolerate adults telling my children to keep secrets from me as a standing policy. I've seen way too many times incredibly inappropriate behavior -- even abusive behavior -- attempted to be covered up by telling the child to keep it a secret. It's a hard no and basically would make me never, ever leave my child alone with that person. Even if it was my own mother, fwiw.

The bigger point that grooming behavior is premised upon telling children to keep secrets. That is a massive red flag, OP.

[Anonymous]

OMG OP WTH?

What is wrong with you? Your poor kid.

Why in the world would you ever send them back unsupervised are you kidding?

Parenting fail to the max.

Your mother is not fit to be near your children!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG OP WTH?

What is wrong with you? Your poor kid.

Why in the world would you ever send them back unsupervised are you kidding?

Parenting fail to the max.

Your mother is not fit to be near your children!

This is happening in ops own house. She’s oblivious to what her kid is doing at home with Grandma. Doesn’t bode well for the teen years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chill out OP.

Wrong answer

[Anonymous]

Do you need to empower your daughter to step away from that situation. Forced prayer and forcing people into a religion is not truly leading to an authentic faith or salvation, if that’s what she is going for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the major issue isn't even the prayer or religion. It's creating secrecy and hiding it. That is a massive red flag to me.

I don't tolerate adults telling my children to keep secrets from me as a standing policy. I've seen way too many times incredibly inappropriate behavior -- even abusive behavior -- attempted to be covered up by telling the child to keep it a secret. It's a hard no and basically would make me never, ever leave my child alone with that person. Even if it was my own mother, fwiw.

The bigger point that grooming behavior is premised upon telling children to keep secrets. That is a massive red flag, OP.

+1

No more visits for Grooming Grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chill out OP.

Grandma found the thread -- all hail Satan!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s not just reading, it’s making DC resist prayers over and over. I know my mother. This is not a nice open ended discussion about Jesus. This id fir her own satisfaction. She’s gotten sneaky in her old age.

I believe you OP. My own mother did not do this, but I can't tell you the number of times I had to hear about my brother not baptizing his kids, to include her joking that she was going to get some holy water and baptize them when they were alone. She didn't do that, but I get it.

This is a huge breach of trust and crashing through boundaries. I think for me it would be a sit down with my mom, possibly with my husband there as well, and telling her that she doesn't have to like what I've chosen as an adult, but she has to accept it.

If she wanted to take your son to church, in the open, I'd probably argue that you should let her. But this sneaking around and asking him to keep the Bible reading secret is a no go.

No, a random person can’t just baptize someone.

Troll.

Actually, a random person can baptize someone. They don't even have to be Christian, only intend to "do what the Church does." Not that they should, of course.

This is complete bs. Can’t you even troll competently?

At least in the Catholic Church any lay person can absolutely conduct a baptism. Do some research instead of calling other people trolls.

Op here. Catholic Church. Yes you can bring home a little bottle to bless with. Not a true baptism but good enough for someone who needs to satisfy her urge to get the grandkids in line with her beliefs.

Same in the Orthodox church. Wasn't there a memoir of a person whose Roman Catholic mother had a bunch of miscarriages and would make her daughter witness her baptizing the fetus before she flushed them?

[Anonymous]

Your child has a life, and that includes her family. Her grandmother whipping out holy water and making her read the bible against her parents' wishes in 5th grade is just another part of her life. She has a right to be a part of a family that's bigger than just you. She has a right to all kinds of influences. Yours is the most important influence of many she will be exposed to.

It's either this story of her weekends with grandma she will tell or one of her growing up feeling smothered by her controlling parents, and leaving their sphere of influence like a bat out of hell. Which one do you prefer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child has a life, and that includes her family. Her grandmother whipping out holy water and making her read the bible against her parents' wishes in 5th grade is just another part of her life. She has a right to be a part of a family that's bigger than just you. She has a right to all kinds of influences. Yours is the most important influence of many she will be exposed to.

It's either this story of her weekends with grandma she will tell or one of her growing up feeling smothered by her controlling parents, and leaving their sphere of influence like a bat out of hell. Which one do you prefer?

Bullsh1t. Grandma is not entitled to any life with the kid. And certainly not entitled to lie.

[Anonymous]

This was my grandmother growing up and I can tell you it never changed anything about me or my atheist views.

If anything I'm a little grateful for it because I got some knowledge of Catholicism that I consider general cultural knowledge that I otherwise would have never been exposed to. Kind of like all the Bar and Bat Mitzvahs I went to as a middle schooler growing up in Montgomery County; it was just education and experience, not indoctrination.

As a kid I think I just thought of it as just a kooky part of my Grandmother's overall character. Like here comes the crazy lady sticking Virgin Mary stickers on my headboard, ha ha. I didn't take it seriously. If anything, her insistence only solidified my parents' atheist teachings because I thought her and all her Catholic ways were weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s not just reading, it’s making DC resist prayers over and over. I know my mother. This is not a nice open ended discussion about Jesus. This id fir her own satisfaction. She’s gotten sneaky in her old age.

I believe you OP. My own mother did not do this, but I can't tell you the number of times I had to hear about my brother not baptizing his kids, to include her joking that she was going to get some holy water and baptize them when they were alone. She didn't do that, but I get it.

This is a huge breach of trust and crashing through boundaries. I think for me it would be a sit down with my mom, possibly with my husband there as well, and telling her that she doesn't have to like what I've chosen as an adult, but she has to accept it.

If she wanted to take your son to church, in the open, I'd probably argue that you should let her. But this sneaking around and asking him to keep the Bible reading secret is a no go.

No, a random person can’t just baptize someone.

Troll.

Actually, a random person can baptize someone. They don't even have to be Christian, only intend to "do what the Church does." Not that they should, of course.

This is complete bs. Can’t you even troll competently?

Wow - some of you are really ignorant. Yes, a random person can absolutely baptize someone, at least in the Catholic Church.
"There are extreme cases, however, when even an unbaptized person can baptize someone. All that is required is the will to do what the Church does when she baptizes, and to apply the Trinitarian Baptismal formula."
https://www.aboutcatholics.com/beliefs/a-guide-to-catholic-baptism/

(My grandmother baptized me in the hospital when I was born with some serious medical issues)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the major issue isn't even the prayer or religion. It's creating secrecy and hiding it. That is a massive red flag to me.

I don't tolerate adults telling my children to keep secrets from me as a standing policy. I've seen way too many times incredibly inappropriate behavior -- even abusive behavior -- attempted to be covered up by telling the child to keep it a secret. It's a hard no and basically would make me never, ever leave my child alone with that person. Even if it was my own mother, fwiw.

The bigger point that grooming behavior is premised upon telling children to keep secrets. That is a massive red flag, OP.

Exactly. It's one thing for a grandmother to share her faith with her grandkids. It's a completely different thing to do that in secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the major issue isn't even the prayer or religion. It's creating secrecy and hiding it. That is a massive red flag to me.

I don't tolerate adults telling my children to keep secrets from me as a standing policy. I've seen way too many times incredibly inappropriate behavior -- even abusive behavior -- attempted to be covered up by telling the child to keep it a secret. It's a hard no and basically would make me never, ever leave my child alone with that person. Even if it was my own mother, fwiw.

The bigger point that grooming behavior is premised upon telling children to keep secrets. That is a massive red flag, OP.

Exactly. It's one thing for a grandmother to share her faith with her grandkids. It's a completely different thing to do that in secret.

+1. Even if grandma ultimately ends up being harmless to OP’s child, this sends the message that adults telling you to keep secrets from your parents aren’t doing anything wrong. HUGE red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child has a life, and that includes her family. Her grandmother whipping out holy water and making her read the bible against her parents' wishes in 5th grade is just another part of her life. She has a right to be a part of a family that's bigger than just you. She has a right to all kinds of influences. Yours is the most important influence of many she will be exposed to.

It's either this story of her weekends with grandma she will tell or one of her growing up feeling smothered by her controlling parents, and leaving their sphere of influence like a bat out of hell. Which one do you prefer?

Turning this around, if your kid is getting essentially groomed by another adult, I don't know of a single parent who is like that's fine.

This is a massive red flag, OP. Beyond the religious issue, your mother is facilitating behavior that just isn't healthy for your kid, period full stop. I agree, cut off grooming grandma.