Grandma’s been secretly proselytizing with DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother has been very upset that we’ve held off in baptizing our kids. Neither DH nor I are religious and have decided to hold off on introducing it. Well, Dc informed us a few weeks ago that on the weekend afternoon s when she visits snd we’ve been letting her spend one on one time with DC hat she’s been whipping out a Bible and holy water and forcing DC to read aloud from it. From what my DC, who is in 5th grade, says, it sounds like my mom is really pushing it hard. I think she’s probably been doing this for months now. So, what’s next? She will
Fight hard for this and I feel like we may need to limit visits.

Holy water, really? Is grandma a priest?

Troll.

The parish I grew up in had holy water available for people to take home. Holy water is water the priest prayed over at some point. The prayer can be done in advance. Not sure about grandma's church, but this detail isn't a red flag imo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s not just reading, it’s making DC resist prayers over and over. I know my mother. This is not a nice open ended discussion about Jesus. This id fir her own satisfaction. She’s gotten sneaky in her old age.

I believe you OP. My own mother did not do this, but I can't tell you the number of times I had to hear about my brother not baptizing his kids, to include her joking that she was going to get some holy water and baptize them when they were alone. She didn't do that, but I get it.

This is a huge breach of trust and crashing through boundaries. I think for me it would be a sit down with my mom, possibly with my husband there as well, and telling her that she doesn't have to like what I've chosen as an adult, but she has to accept it.

If she wanted to take your son to church, in the open, I'd probably argue that you should let her. But this sneaking around and asking him to keep the Bible reading secret is a no go.

No, a random person can’t just baptize someone.

Troll.

Actually, a random person can baptize someone. They don't even have to be Christian, only intend to "do what the Church does." Not that they should, of course.

This is complete bs. Can’t you even troll competently?

At least in the Catholic Church any lay person can absolutely conduct a baptism. Do some research instead of calling other people trolls.

[Anonymous]

100% troll.

What church does Grandma belong to OP?

[Anonymous]

Does Grandma live nearby? Do they really have time in 5th grade to spend that much time with grandma? Id add some new activities and possibly create some space. 5th grade is old enough to make their own choices and voice their own concerns.

Speak with your kid and replace the time with other things. I wouldn't cut grandma off but I'd adjust the amount of access

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s not just reading, it’s making DC resist prayers over and over. I know my mother. This is not a nice open ended discussion about Jesus. This id fir her own satisfaction. She’s gotten sneaky in her old age.

We go to church almost every Sunday and are actively involved in our church on other days as well. I would LOSE MY MIND if a grandparent was making my kid read the Bible and recite prayers regularly in some sort of strange evangelical push. You should tell your kid that they don’t have to do this, tell grandma to cut it out and tell her she willl lose acces to your kid over this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s not just reading, it’s making DC resist prayers over and over. I know my mother. This is not a nice open ended discussion about Jesus. This id fir her own satisfaction. She’s gotten sneaky in her old age.

I believe you OP. My own mother did not do this, but I can't tell you the number of times I had to hear about my brother not baptizing his kids, to include her joking that she was going to get some holy water and baptize them when they were alone. She didn't do that, but I get it.

This is a huge breach of trust and crashing through boundaries. I think for me it would be a sit down with my mom, possibly with my husband there as well, and telling her that she doesn't have to like what I've chosen as an adult, but she has to accept it.

If she wanted to take your son to church, in the open, I'd probably argue that you should let her. But this sneaking around and asking him to keep the Bible reading secret is a no go.

No, a random person can’t just baptize someone.

Troll.

Agreed. I know more than one situation where a grandparent believes they have “secretly” baptized their grandkid. You can argue about the theology of whether this is really a baptism or not depending on your particular brand of religion. But even if “not real” the nonreligious parents are understandably very angry about this. I mean, if my MIL, went behind my back to make my kid some other religion (when we attend a specific church), we would be pretty mad even if it was “fake membership.”

Actually, a random person can baptize someone. They don't even have to be Christian, only intend to "do what the Church does." Not that they should, of course.

This is complete bs. Can’t you even troll competently?

At least in the Catholic Church any lay person can absolutely conduct a baptism. Do some research instead of calling other people trolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s not just reading, it’s making DC resist prayers over and over. I know my mother. This is not a nice open ended discussion about Jesus. This id fir her own satisfaction. She’s gotten sneaky in her old age.

You must be a teen troll. This is not adult language. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% troll.

What church does Grandma belong to OP?

+1

[Anonymous]

This would piss me off to no end. Especially because now your child feels like religion and Christianity is something that needs to be hidden or forced. She has created an unhealthy connection.

[Anonymous]

Kid doesn’t spend time alone with mother again. Period.

[Anonymous]

My mom is very involved in a liberal, welcoming church. I grew up in that church, and I do not attend any church as an adult. She respects our decisions, even though I know she wishes we still attended church. She can talk about it with my kids, I tell my kids to ask her questions, but that's all because I know she respects our boundaries. She'd never start holding Bible study without talking to us. She may tell the kids a few Sunday school stories.

If one of our grandparents was pressuring my kids on visits, the visits would be MUCH less.

I'd ask your child to let you know if this happens again. Put Grandma on a warning status to knock it off and if she heeds you, fine. But otherwise we'd see less of Grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s not just reading, it’s making DC resist prayers over and over. I know my mother. This is not a nice open ended discussion about Jesus. This id fir her own satisfaction. She’s gotten sneaky in her old age.

You must be a teen troll. This is not adult language. At all.

Lol as opposed to the other grown ass women on this site that regularly call things “gross” and “yuck”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s not just reading, it’s making DC resist prayers over and over. I know my mother. This is not a nice open ended discussion about Jesus. This id fir her own satisfaction. She’s gotten sneaky in her old age.

You must be a teen troll. This is not adult language. At all.

NP. I take it you don’t know any teens. That’s not how they talk.

OP sounds like she’s in her 30s-40s. That’s how we “young people” talk.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who believes this thread is not the sharpest knife in the drawer…

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. It’s not just reading, it’s making DC resist prayers over and over. I know my mother. This is not a nice open ended discussion about Jesus. This id fir her own satisfaction. She’s gotten sneaky in her old age. [/quote]

I believe you OP. My own mother did not do this, but I can't tell you the number of times I had to hear about my brother not baptizing his kids, to include her joking that she was going to get some holy water and baptize them when they were alone. She didn't do that, but I get it.

This is a huge breach of trust and crashing through boundaries. I think for me it would be a sit down with my mom, possibly with my husband there as well, and telling her that she doesn't have to like what I've chosen as an adult, but she has to accept it.

If she wanted to take your son to church, in the open, I'd probably argue that you should let her. But this sneaking around and asking him to keep the Bible reading secret is a no go. [/quote]

No, a random person can’t just baptize someone.

Troll. [/quote]

Actually, a random person can baptize someone. They don't even have to be Christian, only intend to "do what the Church does." Not that they should, of course. [/quote]

In what church? Where? [/quote]

This is an established Catholic belief and presumably therefore true of other Christian denominations. Baptism doesn’t require a church, a font or holy water. All that is necessary, as PP observed, is the pouring of water over the head while reciting the Ttinitarian formula of baptism (“[Name], I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.”). And as PP also observed, the person doing the baptism can be a non-Christian or even a non-believer entirely so long as in doing the action and reciting the formula they intend what the Church intends.