Disciplinary action or not? Any Tips?

[Anonymous]

OP: When your daughter lied, she was implicitly asserting that at least two faculty proctors were liars because at least one reported her at the dance and at least one reported that she was not where she was required to be for detention.

Untruthfulness in a boarding school setting could easily destroy careers and reputations. Less of a concern in a college or university setting where all are typically adults (above the age of consent).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it will really depend on the wording of the question. It sounds like the school essentially avoided taking disciplinary action by allowing her to withdraw. If the question is only asking whether any formal disciplinary action was taken, I believe you can safely respond no. You could also confirm with the school that they agree with your understanding.

Not sure why everyone here is trying to demonize OP. Sounds like a boarding school. Wishing your child well. We all make mistakes and deserve a second chance.

I think people may just be frustrated with OP that she’s not being fully candid about what happened. Why waste everyone’s time soliciting advice that turns out to be incorrect because you didn’t provide full information?

You all are getting too hung up on details that aren’t necessary, especially given this person is posting about their child.

The crux is the fact that the school didn’t take disciplinary action. Now, if an application question asks if the student was ever asked to withdrawn in lieu of disciplinary action, that may require a different response. It’s all going to depend on the phrasing of the question in terms of what/how to disclose.

It is necessary because no one believes that being two minutes late one time led to a detention that led to the kid being told to leave the school. Boarding school or not, nothing described would lead to the penalty of being pushed out.

I believe it. The person who determined the punishment is someone like 12:39 or the pp who was, apparently in all seriousness, asking what amends the daughter is taking. Some people enjoy inflicting maximum possible punishment. Hanging out in DCUM-land has really enlightened me to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it will really depend on the wording of the question. It sounds like the school essentially avoided taking disciplinary action by allowing her to withdraw. If the question is only asking whether any formal disciplinary action was taken, I believe you can safely respond no. You could also confirm with the school that they agree with your understanding.

Not sure why everyone here is trying to demonize OP. Sounds like a boarding school. Wishing your child well. We all make mistakes and deserve a second chance.

I think people may just be frustrated with OP that she’s not being fully candid about what happened. Why waste everyone’s time soliciting advice that turns out to be incorrect because you didn’t provide full information?

You all are getting too hung up on details that aren’t necessary, especially given this person is posting about their child.

The crux is the fact that the school didn’t take disciplinary action. Now, if an application question asks if the student was ever asked to withdrawn in lieu of disciplinary action, that may require a different response. It’s all going to depend on the phrasing of the question in terms of what/how to disclose.

It is necessary because no one believes that being two minutes late one time led to a detention that led to the kid being told to leave the school. Boarding school or not, nothing described would lead to the penalty of being pushed out.

I believe it. The person who determined the punishment is someone like 12:39 or the pp who was, apparently in all seriousness, asking what amends the daughter is taking. Some people enjoy inflicting maximum possible punishment. Hanging out in DCUM-land has really enlightened me to this.

In other words, you are bothered by facts and integrity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it will really depend on the wording of the question. It sounds like the school essentially avoided taking disciplinary action by allowing her to withdraw. If the question is only asking whether any formal disciplinary action was taken, I believe you can safely respond no. You could also confirm with the school that they agree with your understanding.

Not sure why everyone here is trying to demonize OP. Sounds like a boarding school. Wishing your child well. We all make mistakes and deserve a second chance.

I think people may just be frustrated with OP that she’s not being fully candid about what happened. Why waste everyone’s time soliciting advice that turns out to be incorrect because you didn’t provide full information?

You all are getting too hung up on details that aren’t necessary, especially given this person is posting about their child.

The crux is the fact that the school didn’t take disciplinary action. Now, if an application question asks if the student was ever asked to withdrawn in lieu of disciplinary action, that may require a different response. It’s all going to depend on the phrasing of the question in terms of what/how to disclose.

It is necessary because no one believes that being two minutes late one time led to a detention that led to the kid being told to leave the school. Boarding school or not, nothing described would lead to the penalty of being pushed out.

I believe it. The person who determined the punishment is someone like 12:39 or the pp who was, apparently in all seriousness, asking what amends the daughter is taking. Some people enjoy inflicting maximum possible punishment. Hanging out in DCUM-land has really enlightened me to this.

In other words, you are bothered by facts and integrity.

No, I am in favor of punishments that fit the crime and discipline that allows people (all people, but particularly children) the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. The successive lying from OP’s kid was wrong and should be disciplined but the person advocating expulsion is essentially saying that this should affect the teenager’s college chances, which in theory could affect her for years to come. In what world does that punishment fit the crime? If you exact that sort of punishment for this behavior, what is left for serious offenses that actually hurt people - off with their heads? I am not saying that the teen should not be punished at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it will really depend on the wording of the question. It sounds like the school essentially avoided taking disciplinary action by allowing her to withdraw. If the question is only asking whether any formal disciplinary action was taken, I believe you can safely respond no. You could also confirm with the school that they agree with your understanding.

Not sure why everyone here is trying to demonize OP. Sounds like a boarding school. Wishing your child well. We all make mistakes and deserve a second chance.

I think people may just be frustrated with OP that she’s not being fully candid about what happened. Why waste everyone’s time soliciting advice that turns out to be incorrect because you didn’t provide full information?

You all are getting too hung up on details that aren’t necessary, especially given this person is posting about their child.

The crux is the fact that the school didn’t take disciplinary action. Now, if an application question asks if the student was ever asked to withdrawn in lieu of disciplinary action, that may require a different response. It’s all going to depend on the phrasing of the question in terms of what/how to disclose.

One question we don’t have a clear answer to (and OP may not either) is whether it will be listed on her transcript just as a withdrawal, or as a withdrawal in lieu of disciplinary action. Those are very different. Also, the concern about whether the teacher will mention it in the recommendation is real. If this was truly an minor infraction, I might err on the side of reporting/explaining it with a note that she does not know if it will be reported on her transcript as a disciplinary infraction but she wanted to be fully candid. If it comes out anywhere else, this gives her more credibility. If it was something more serious that would be really problematic to disclose, I might reconsider using the former teacher’s recommendation and might reach out to the school to understand how the transcript will report it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it will really depend on the wording of the question. It sounds like the school essentially avoided taking disciplinary action by allowing her to withdraw. If the question is only asking whether any formal disciplinary action was taken, I believe you can safely respond no. You could also confirm with the school that they agree with your understanding.

Not sure why everyone here is trying to demonize OP. Sounds like a boarding school. Wishing your child well. We all make mistakes and deserve a second chance.

I think people may just be frustrated with OP that she’s not being fully candid about what happened. Why waste everyone’s time soliciting advice that turns out to be incorrect because you didn’t provide full information?

You all are getting too hung up on details that aren’t necessary, especially given this person is posting about their child.

The crux is the fact that the school didn’t take disciplinary action. Now, if an application question asks if the student was ever asked to withdrawn in lieu of disciplinary action, that may require a different response. It’s all going to depend on the phrasing of the question in terms of what/how to disclose.

It is necessary because no one believes that being two minutes late one time led to a detention that led to the kid being told to leave the school. Boarding school or not, nothing described would lead to the penalty of being pushed out.

I believe it. The person who determined the punishment is someone like 12:39 or the pp who was, apparently in all seriousness, asking what amends the daughter is taking. Some people enjoy inflicting maximum possible punishment. Hanging out in DCUM-land has really enlightened me to this.

In other words, you are bothered by facts and integrity.

No, I am in favor of punishments that fit the crime and discipline that allows people (all people, but particularly children) the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. The successive lying from OP’s kid was wrong and should be disciplined but the person advocating expulsion is essentially saying that this should affect the teenager’s college chances, which in theory could affect her for years to come. In what world does that punishment fit the crime? If you exact that sort of punishment for this behavior, what is left for serious offenses that actually hurt people - off with their heads? I am not saying that the teen should not be punished at all.

Relax. The student was given the opportunity to withdraw and did so. Nevertheless, under the circumstances expulsion or suspension for a year seem--from the info shared--to be the most appropriate punishments.

Are you familiar with elite (financially sound) boarding schools ? I know of trustee's kids who were expelled or suspended for a year for the first cheating offense.

The most selective boarding schools evaluate candidates for admission based as much on maturity as on intellect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are disciplinary maters only reported for high school offenses? My child had an offense in 8th grade for which he served detention- does this have to be reported? Not applying to colleges just yet so I’m trying to figure this out. Thanks!

Nope do not worry about this and do not put it any where on apps

[Anonymous]

No school private or otherwise expells a kid for lying for a year.

OP something you are not telling us.