First few months of being a stepparents to teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:6) Making them quit any of their activities, even if it's due to "fairness" for the sake of your children
7) Doing PDA with their dad around them and their friends.
8) Expecting them not to roll their eyes at the "till death do us part" words in the wedding, if there was a divorce
9) Getting on your high horse about setting an example of a happy marriage, when it means they get less of something. You don't know that your marriage is or will be happy, and they won't care.
10) Having age-inapproprate expectatons for their maturity and behavior. If you don't know much about teens, read up.
11) Blaming their mom for how they turned out. Guess what-- your DH is equally their parent, and if he failed to raise them with manners and morals that's on him. And ask yourself why you're raising children with a man who isn't a good parent.

Oh these are sooo good!! My stepmom did almost all of these (and the ones in OP’s prior list) and then wondered why we were jerks to her.

I do feel really bad about how we treated her and I know she didn’t try to be a wicked stepmother. But if she had had this list handy it would have made everyone’s lives much easier.

Why didn't you talk to her and help her? I guess it was more fun to be a jerk.

I hope you’re not the same poster who keeps reminding us that stepmothers don’t owe their stepchildren anything, because stepchildren owe their stepmom even less than she owes them. They’re children and she’s an adult. She chose to marry into a family unit that already existed and they had no choice in the matter.