Women who divorce after 40 -- did anyone successfully find new partners?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: imputed income, exactly this.

My DH made $350K (actually more but that was all we could find publicly). I had not worked for 8 months after a move, and in my previous job had made $150K. The court imputed me that $150K, even though we had required a FT nanny for me to work 60 hours a week to earn that salary and I now had full-time custody. Child support, which he only pays until kid is 18, is based on a percentage of the difference between incomes and is like $2K a month, even though he now earns $600K, and I make $218K and have effectively 100% custody bc he did not want it. He paid 2 years of rehabilitative alimony that was like $5K a month including the child support. I could take him back to court to demand an adjustment, but then there would be a look-back on all finances, and I don't want him to know anything about my finances. I still owe my lawyer $13K, 2 years later.

Does anyone on DCUM make less than $300k? I swear every time I'm on this page, there is a $300k salary poster either their own money or their spouse. I just don't understand why these people have problems and why they are on this site. Boredom? How does that much money per year not leave you satisfied enough and instead interested in going onto DCUM to work out issues?

300K in DC is barely lower middle class.

Comments like this don’t help.
$300k in dc is middle class but it’s nothing to write home about and certainly not a panacea

No, it's not. You need 750k to live in any of the middle class neighborhoods.

You are confusing "not being poor" with middle class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: imputed income, exactly this.

My DH made $350K (actually more but that was all we could find publicly). I had not worked for 8 months after a move, and in my previous job had made $150K. The court imputed me that $150K, even though we had required a FT nanny for me to work 60 hours a week to earn that salary and I now had full-time custody. Child support, which he only pays until kid is 18, is based on a percentage of the difference between incomes and is like $2K a month, even though he now earns $600K, and I make $218K and have effectively 100% custody bc he did not want it. He paid 2 years of rehabilitative alimony that was like $5K a month including the child support. I could take him back to court to demand an adjustment, but then there would be a look-back on all finances, and I don't want him to know anything about my finances. I still owe my lawyer $13K, 2 years later.

Does anyone on DCUM make less than $300k? I swear every time I'm on this page, there is a $300k salary poster either their own money or their spouse. I just don't understand why these people have problems and why they are on this site. Boredom? How does that much money per year not leave you satisfied enough and instead interested in going onto DCUM to work out issues?

300K in DC is barely lower middle class.

Comments like this don’t help.
$300k in dc is middle class but it’s nothing to write home about and certainly not a panacea

No, it's not. You need 750k to live in any of the middle class neighborhoods.

You are confusing "not being poor" with middle class.

What on earth are you talking about? There are plenty of people in DC who are poor and live there just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: imputed income, exactly this.

My DH made $350K (actually more but that was all we could find publicly). I had not worked for 8 months after a move, and in my previous job had made $150K. The court imputed me that $150K, even though we had required a FT nanny for me to work 60 hours a week to earn that salary and I now had full-time custody. Child support, which he only pays until kid is 18, is based on a percentage of the difference between incomes and is like $2K a month, even though he now earns $600K, and I make $218K and have effectively 100% custody bc he did not want it. He paid 2 years of rehabilitative alimony that was like $5K a month including the child support. I could take him back to court to demand an adjustment, but then there would be a look-back on all finances, and I don't want him to know anything about my finances. I still owe my lawyer $13K, 2 years later.

Does anyone on DCUM make less than $300k? I swear every time I'm on this page, there is a $300k salary poster either their own money or their spouse. I just don't understand why these people have problems and why they are on this site. Boredom? How does that much money per year not leave you satisfied enough and instead interested in going onto DCUM to work out issues?

$300k after tax is $180. You are saying that $180k should solve all your life problems regardless of circumstance? I’d understand if you said $1.5m but $300k pre tax income is not solving all life’s problems in 2022

Yes. This is what I'm saying. Enough to not be here on a relationship forum all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: imputed income, exactly this.

My DH made $350K (actually more but that was all we could find publicly). I had not worked for 8 months after a move, and in my previous job had made $150K. The court imputed me that $150K, even though we had required a FT nanny for me to work 60 hours a week to earn that salary and I now had full-time custody. Child support, which he only pays until kid is 18, is based on a percentage of the difference between incomes and is like $2K a month, even though he now earns $600K, and I make $218K and have effectively 100% custody bc he did not want it. He paid 2 years of rehabilitative alimony that was like $5K a month including the child support. I could take him back to court to demand an adjustment, but then there would be a look-back on all finances, and I don't want him to know anything about my finances. I still owe my lawyer $13K, 2 years later.

Does anyone on DCUM make less than $300k? I swear every time I'm on this page, there is a $300k salary poster either their own money or their spouse. I just don't understand why these people have problems and why they are on this site. Boredom? How does that much money per year not leave you satisfied enough and instead interested in going onto DCUM to work out issues?

300K in DC is barely lower middle class.

Comments like this don’t help.
$300k in dc is middle class but it’s nothing to write home about and certainly not a panacea

No, it's not. You need 750k to live in any of the middle class neighborhoods.

You are confusing "not being poor" with middle class.

What on earth are you talking about? There are plenty of people in DC who are poor and live there just fine.

Wut?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: imputed income, exactly this.

My DH made $350K (actually more but that was all we could find publicly). I had not worked for 8 months after a move, and in my previous job had made $150K. The court imputed me that $150K, even though we had required a FT nanny for me to work 60 hours a week to earn that salary and I now had full-time custody. Child support, which he only pays until kid is 18, is based on a percentage of the difference between incomes and is like $2K a month, even though he now earns $600K, and I make $218K and have effectively 100% custody bc he did not want it. He paid 2 years of rehabilitative alimony that was like $5K a month including the child support. I could take him back to court to demand an adjustment, but then there would be a look-back on all finances, and I don't want him to know anything about my finances. I still owe my lawyer $13K, 2 years later.

Does anyone on DCUM make less than $300k? I swear every time I'm on this page, there is a $300k salary poster either their own money or their spouse. I just don't understand why these people have problems and why they are on this site. Boredom? How does that much money per year not leave you satisfied enough and instead interested in going onto DCUM to work out issues?

300K in DC is barely lower middle class.

Median HHI in DC is $73k and $250k is 95th percentile. Evidently about 99% of the population is "barely lower middle class" or living in abject poverty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: imputed income, exactly this.

My DH made $350K (actually more but that was all we could find publicly). I had not worked for 8 months after a move, and in my previous job had made $150K. The court imputed me that $150K, even though we had required a FT nanny for me to work 60 hours a week to earn that salary and I now had full-time custody. Child support, which he only pays until kid is 18, is based on a percentage of the difference between incomes and is like $2K a month, even though he now earns $600K, and I make $218K and have effectively 100% custody bc he did not want it. He paid 2 years of rehabilitative alimony that was like $5K a month including the child support. I could take him back to court to demand an adjustment, but then there would be a look-back on all finances, and I don't want him to know anything about my finances. I still owe my lawyer $13K, 2 years later.

Does anyone on DCUM make less than $300k? I swear every time I'm on this page, there is a $300k salary poster either their own money or their spouse. I just don't understand why these people have problems and why they are on this site. Boredom? How does that much money per year not leave you satisfied enough and instead interested in going onto DCUM to work out issues?

300K in DC is barely lower middle class.

Comments like this don’t help.
$300k in dc is middle class but it’s nothing to write home about and certainly not a panacea

No, it's not. You need 750k to live in any of the middle class neighborhoods.

You are confusing "not being poor" with middle class.

Making $170k, single parent, living in a non-McMansion SFH (4br, 3ba) in McLean. Maxing out 401k and HSA as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: imputed income, exactly this.

My DH made $350K (actually more but that was all we could find publicly). I had not worked for 8 months after a move, and in my previous job had made $150K. The court imputed me that $150K, even though we had required a FT nanny for me to work 60 hours a week to earn that salary and I now had full-time custody. Child support, which he only pays until kid is 18, is based on a percentage of the difference between incomes and is like $2K a month, even though he now earns $600K, and I make $218K and have effectively 100% custody bc he did not want it. He paid 2 years of rehabilitative alimony that was like $5K a month including the child support. I could take him back to court to demand an adjustment, but then there would be a look-back on all finances, and I don't want him to know anything about my finances. I still owe my lawyer $13K, 2 years later.

Does anyone on DCUM make less than $300k? I swear every time I'm on this page, there is a $300k salary poster either their own money or their spouse. I just don't understand why these people have problems and why they are on this site. Boredom? How does that much money per year not leave you satisfied enough and instead interested in going onto DCUM to work out issues?

300K in DC is barely lower middle class.

Median HHI in DC is $73k and $250k is 95th percentile. Evidently about 99% of the population is "barely lower middle class" or living in abject poverty.

What's your HHI, PP? We are at about $275k and we feel like we'll never be able to afford a 3br in NW where we live. Not willing to go to less safe areas. We realize we are somehow "rich", but can't afford vacations or a home or many extras.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: imputed income, exactly this.

My DH made $350K (actually more but that was all we could find publicly). I had not worked for 8 months after a move, and in my previous job had made $150K. The court imputed me that $150K, even though we had required a FT nanny for me to work 60 hours a week to earn that salary and I now had full-time custody. Child support, which he only pays until kid is 18, is based on a percentage of the difference between incomes and is like $2K a month, even though he now earns $600K, and I make $218K and have effectively 100% custody bc he did not want it. He paid 2 years of rehabilitative alimony that was like $5K a month including the child support. I could take him back to court to demand an adjustment, but then there would be a look-back on all finances, and I don't want him to know anything about my finances. I still owe my lawyer $13K, 2 years later.

Does anyone on DCUM make less than $300k? I swear every time I'm on this page, there is a $300k salary poster either their own money or their spouse. I just don't understand why these people have problems and why they are on this site. Boredom? How does that much money per year not leave you satisfied enough and instead interested in going onto DCUM to work out issues?

300K in DC is barely lower middle class.

Comments like this don’t help.
$300k in dc is middle class but it’s nothing to write home about and certainly not a panacea

No, it's not. You need 750k to live in any of the middle class neighborhoods.

You are confusing "not being poor" with middle class.

Making $170k, single parent, living in a non-McMansion SFH (4br, 3ba) in McLean. Maxing out 401k and HSA as well.

Single parent as in the other parent is totally out of the picture? Or single parent as in you want to wear the banner but you have monetary and time and logistical support fromt he other parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just look at your DH as a business partner in raising a family and keeping a home life. Concentrate on working on yourself and your own happiness. Find a hobby like a beginning tennis clinic or an art class, something you've always wanted to try. Find things outside of family that make you feel good about yourself again. Many, many people have so-so marriages that are just hobbling along, that are being kept together for the kids and the finances. The more you learn to love yourself and your life, the less important your lack of love life with your husband will be. Or maybe, you will find someone else along the way.

This...seems so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: imputed income, exactly this.

My DH made $350K (actually more but that was all we could find publicly). I had not worked for 8 months after a move, and in my previous job had made $150K. The court imputed me that $150K, even though we had required a FT nanny for me to work 60 hours a week to earn that salary and I now had full-time custody. Child support, which he only pays until kid is 18, is based on a percentage of the difference between incomes and is like $2K a month, even though he now earns $600K, and I make $218K and have effectively 100% custody bc he did not want it. He paid 2 years of rehabilitative alimony that was like $5K a month including the child support. I could take him back to court to demand an adjustment, but then there would be a look-back on all finances, and I don't want him to know anything about my finances. I still owe my lawyer $13K, 2 years later.

Does anyone on DCUM make less than $300k? I swear every time I'm on this page, there is a $300k salary poster either their own money or their spouse. I just don't understand why these people have problems and why they are on this site. Boredom? How does that much money per year not leave you satisfied enough and instead interested in going onto DCUM to work out issues?

300K in DC is barely lower middle class.

Median HHI in DC is $73k and $250k is 95th percentile. Evidently about 99% of the population is "barely lower middle class" or living in abject poverty.

What's your HHI, PP? We are at about $275k and we feel like we'll never be able to afford a 3br in NW where we live. Not willing to go to less safe areas. We realize we are somehow "rich", but can't afford vacations or a home or many extras.

That's because of professional salaries inflation over the years. You can't feel/become rich and afford major assets when working 9-5

[Anonymous]

Our HHI is $1.3mm, one kid in private, non-luxury cars (paid off), non-luxury house in Bethesda ... and we STILL feel like money is always tight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our HHI is $1.3mm, one kid in private, non-luxury cars (paid off), non-luxury house in Bethesda ... and we STILL feel like money is always tight.

Then you are doing something seriously wrong. We make half that and feel absolutely fine. Your expenses are the ONLY problem here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: imputed income, exactly this.

My DH made $350K (actually more but that was all we could find publicly). I had not worked for 8 months after a move, and in my previous job had made $150K. The court imputed me that $150K, even though we had required a FT nanny for me to work 60 hours a week to earn that salary and I now had full-time custody. Child support, which he only pays until kid is 18, is based on a percentage of the difference between incomes and is like $2K a month, even though he now earns $600K, and I make $218K and have effectively 100% custody bc he did not want it. He paid 2 years of rehabilitative alimony that was like $5K a month including the child support. I could take him back to court to demand an adjustment, but then there would be a look-back on all finances, and I don't want him to know anything about my finances. I still owe my lawyer $13K, 2 years later.

Does anyone on DCUM make less than $300k? I swear every time I'm on this page, there is a $300k salary poster either their own money or their spouse. I just don't understand why these people have problems and why they are on this site. Boredom? How does that much money per year not leave you satisfied enough and instead interested in going onto DCUM to work out issues?

300K in DC is barely lower middle class.

Comments like this don’t help.
$300k in dc is middle class but it’s nothing to write home about and certainly not a panacea

No, it's not. You need 750k to live in any of the middle class neighborhoods.

You are confusing "not being poor" with middle class.

This is DCUM derangement syndrome. I think this needs to be a thing. Affluenza, maybe?

We live in a great middle class neighborhood and don't make that salary. Most of our neighbors are not in that boat either. The biggest issue here is that most posters confuse "barely affording private school and luxury houses" with middle class. The former is still solidly upper class. It's just not the .00001%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: imputed income, exactly this.

My DH made $350K (actually more but that was all we could find publicly). I had not worked for 8 months after a move, and in my previous job had made $150K. The court imputed me that $150K, even though we had required a FT nanny for me to work 60 hours a week to earn that salary and I now had full-time custody. Child support, which he only pays until kid is 18, is based on a percentage of the difference between incomes and is like $2K a month, even though he now earns $600K, and I make $218K and have effectively 100% custody bc he did not want it. He paid 2 years of rehabilitative alimony that was like $5K a month including the child support. I could take him back to court to demand an adjustment, but then there would be a look-back on all finances, and I don't want him to know anything about my finances. I still owe my lawyer $13K, 2 years later.

Does anyone on DCUM make less than $300k? I swear every time I'm on this page, there is a $300k salary poster either their own money or their spouse. I just don't understand why these people have problems and why they are on this site. Boredom? How does that much money per year not leave you satisfied enough and instead interested in going onto DCUM to work out issues?

300K in DC is barely lower middle class.

Comments like this don’t help.
$300k in dc is middle class but it’s nothing to write home about and certainly not a panacea

No, it's not. You need 750k to live in any of the middle class neighborhoods.

You are confusing "not being poor" with middle class.

Making $170k, single parent, living in a non-McMansion SFH (4br, 3ba) in McLean. Maxing out 401k and HSA as well.

Single parent as in the other parent is totally out of the picture? Or single parent as in you want to wear the banner but you have monetary and time and logistical support fromt he other parent?

Single parent as in single dad, 50/50 custody, and I pay child support to my ex-wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: imputed income, exactly this.

My DH made $350K (actually more but that was all we could find publicly). I had not worked for 8 months after a move, and in my previous job had made $150K. The court imputed me that $150K, even though we had required a FT nanny for me to work 60 hours a week to earn that salary and I now had full-time custody. Child support, which he only pays until kid is 18, is based on a percentage of the difference between incomes and is like $2K a month, even though he now earns $600K, and I make $218K and have effectively 100% custody bc he did not want it. He paid 2 years of rehabilitative alimony that was like $5K a month including the child support. I could take him back to court to demand an adjustment, but then there would be a look-back on all finances, and I don't want him to know anything about my finances. I still owe my lawyer $13K, 2 years later.

Does anyone on DCUM make less than $300k? I swear every time I'm on this page, there is a $300k salary poster either their own money or their spouse. I just don't understand why these people have problems and why they are on this site. Boredom? How does that much money per year not leave you satisfied enough and instead interested in going onto DCUM to work out issues?

300K in DC is barely lower middle class.

Comments like this don’t help.
$300k in dc is middle class but it’s nothing to write home about and certainly not a panacea

No, it's not. You need 750k to live in any of the middle class neighborhoods.

You are confusing "not being poor" with middle class.

Making $170k, single parent, living in a non-McMansion SFH (4br, 3ba) in McLean. Maxing out 401k and HSA as well.

Single parent as in the other parent is totally out of the picture? Or single parent as in you want to wear the banner but you have monetary and time and logistical support fromt he other parent?

Single parent as in single dad, 50/50 custody, and I pay child support to my ex-wife.

That’s not a single parent. That’s a co-parent. You only have the kids half the time. Wildly different. Wildly easier.
Signed, single mom.