Hetero couple proclaiming themselves as queer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they’re both bisexual and happen to be in a man-woman relationship. What do you care?

We only care because apparently it is an identity now.

By the loose definitions now given for the word, I am queer. I'm fairly certain I've had a much more varied and elaborate time of it than most. But I'd never associate my affairs with women, or men, or the time I had the two boyfriends for a few years, or my sex work, with a person whose preferences have actually marginalized them, or caused them shame or harm. I would actually feel like I'd be appropriating someone else's story by doing so.

That's why I have an issue with my friend and her queer Twitter profile.

Here you are shaming a person for their sexuality. Look in the mirror.

It's not sexuality. It is branding. It's appropriating a marginalized identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope this is not offensive. Is this a thing? An acquaintance and her boyfriend, both of whom are cisgender, are telling people that they are queer. What does this mean? It feels like weird appropriation but maybe I’m missing something.

Why don’t you ask her what they mean?

[Anonymous]

S|O: I’ve noticed a few resumes/cover letters highlighting a person identifies as queer or bisexual. One person I know well enough to know they are in a hetero marriage and they come across as very traditional insofar as their appearance, clothing, etc. Another colleague noticed it as well, and we are wondering if this is a new way to promote yourself as diverse when you really aren’t.

Re: including bisexuality on your resume/cover letter: I just don’t understand this at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:S|O: I’ve noticed a few resumes/cover letters highlighting a person identifies as queer or bisexual. One person I know well enough to know they are in a hetero marriage and they come across as very traditional insofar as their appearance, clothing, etc. Another colleague noticed it as well, and we are wondering if this is a new way to promote yourself as diverse when you really aren’t.

Re: including bisexuality on your resume/cover letter: I just don’t understand this at all.

Does putting that your bisexual on a resume really make you more likely to be hired? That sounds insane. A huge number of people are bisexual and in straight marriages and never ever had any kind of same sex relationship because they are too ashamed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:S|O: I’ve noticed a few resumes/cover letters highlighting a person identifies as queer or bisexual. One person I know well enough to know they are in a hetero marriage and they come across as very traditional insofar as their appearance, clothing, etc. Another colleague noticed it as well, and we are wondering if this is a new way to promote yourself as diverse when you really aren’t.

Re: including bisexuality on your resume/cover letter: I just don’t understand this at all.

Does putting that your bisexual on a resume really make you more likely to be hired? That sounds insane. A huge number of people are bisexual and in straight marriages and never ever had any kind of same sex relationship because they are too ashamed.

I agree. I’m just trying to figure out if it’s a new trend as well as how others feel about it.

I think it’s absurd, but I’m straight.

[Anonymous]

NP we present like a cis hetero couple but we're not so I'm queer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP we present like a cis hetero couple but we're not so I'm queer

What does that mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP we present like a cis hetero couple but we're not so I'm queer

What does that mean?

DP. A bi person (or two) in an opposite sex marriage will present that way. I know at least one family with a trans man married to a cis woman, where if you don't know he's trans (and I didn't the first time I met him), they look like a cis hetero couple but aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP we present like a cis hetero couple but we're not so I'm queer

What does that mean?

DP. A bi person (or two) in an opposite sex marriage will present that way. I know at least one family with a trans man married to a cis woman, where if you don't know he's trans (and I didn't the first time I met him), they look like a cis hetero couple but aren't.

I guess I’m struggling to understand how bisexuals in a hetero marriage means anything. I mean, if you’re in a monogamous marriage, who cares that you were bisexual before. Now you are in a hetero marriage.

The people I know who identify as queer never refer to themselves as gay or lesbian, but they have same-sex partners. They also tend to present themselves in terms of hair/fashion, etc. in a way that doesn’t align with stereotypes related to their gender. More directly: they proudly put forth their queer identity in various ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP we present like a cis hetero couple but we're not so I'm queer

What does that mean?

DP. A bi person (or two) in an opposite sex marriage will present that way. I know at least one family with a trans man married to a cis woman, where if you don't know he's trans (and I didn't the first time I met him), they look like a cis hetero couple but aren't.

I guess I’m struggling to understand how bisexuals in a hetero marriage means anything. I mean, if you’re in a monogamous marriage, who cares that you were bisexual before. Now you are in a hetero marriage.

The people I know who identify as queer never refer to themselves as gay or lesbian, but they have same-sex partners. They also tend to present themselves in terms of hair/fashion, etc. in a way that doesn’t align with stereotypes related to their gender. More directly: they proudly put forth their queer identity in various ways.

A person didn't cease to be bisexual because they're monogamous and in a relationship with a person of the opposite gender. That's not what the identity is about, it's about who you're attracted to, sexually/romantically. That doesn't change because you're married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP we present like a cis hetero couple but we're not so I'm queer

What does that mean?

DP. A bi person (or two) in an opposite sex marriage will present that way. I know at least one family with a trans man married to a cis woman, where if you don't know he's trans (and I didn't the first time I met him), they look like a cis hetero couple but aren't.

I guess I’m struggling to understand how bisexuals in a hetero marriage means anything. I mean, if you’re in a monogamous marriage, who cares that you were bisexual before. Now you are in a hetero marriage.

The people I know who identify as queer never refer to themselves as gay or lesbian, but they have same-sex partners. They also tend to present themselves in terms of hair/fashion, etc. in a way that doesn’t align with stereotypes related to their gender. More directly: they proudly put forth their queer identity in various ways.

A person didn't cease to be bisexual because they're monogamous and in a relationship with a person of the opposite gender. That's not what the identity is about, it's about who you're attracted to, sexually/romantically. That doesn't change because you're married.

But it doesn’t matter once you’re married. So why would you need to broadcast it to anyone once you are married?

[Anonymous]

I am queer and am in a heterosexual relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP we present like a cis hetero couple but we're not so I'm queer

What does that mean?

DP. A bi person (or two) in an opposite sex marriage will present that way. I know at least one family with a trans man married to a cis woman, where if you don't know he's trans (and I didn't the first time I met him), they look like a cis hetero couple but aren't.

I guess I’m struggling to understand how bisexuals in a hetero marriage means anything. I mean, if you’re in a monogamous marriage, who cares that you were bisexual before. Now you are in a hetero marriage.

The people I know who identify as queer never refer to themselves as gay or lesbian, but they have same-sex partners. They also tend to present themselves in terms of hair/fashion, etc. in a way that doesn’t align with stereotypes related to their gender. More directly: they proudly put forth their queer identity in various ways.

A person didn't cease to be bisexual because they're monogamous and in a relationship with a person of the opposite gender. That's not what the identity is about, it's about who you're attracted to, sexually/romantically. That doesn't change because you're married.

But it doesn’t matter once you’re married. So why would you need to broadcast it to anyone once you are married?

Doesn’t matter to whom? (NP.) I am bisexual and married to a man (I’m a woman) and my being married to a man does not negate my bisexuality. If I’d married a woman it wouldn’t have made me a lesbian; marrying a man didn’t make me straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:S|O: I’ve noticed a few resumes/cover letters highlighting a person identifies as queer or bisexual. One person I know well enough to know they are in a hetero marriage and they come across as very traditional insofar as their appearance, clothing, etc. Another colleague noticed it as well, and we are wondering if this is a new way to promote yourself as diverse when you really aren’t.

Re: including bisexuality on your resume/cover letter: I just don’t understand this at all.

I wouldn’t put it on a resume, but certainly you can be bi in a Herero marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP we present like a cis hetero couple but we're not so I'm queer

What does that mean?

DP. A bi person (or two) in an opposite sex marriage will present that way. I know at least one family with a trans man married to a cis woman, where if you don't know he's trans (and I didn't the first time I met him), they look like a cis hetero couple but aren't.

I guess I’m struggling to understand how bisexuals in a hetero marriage means anything. I mean, if you’re in a monogamous marriage, who cares that you were bisexual before. Now you are in a hetero marriage.

The people I know who identify as queer never refer to themselves as gay or lesbian, but they have same-sex partners. They also tend to present themselves in terms of hair/fashion, etc. in a way that doesn’t align with stereotypes related to their gender. More directly: they proudly put forth their queer identity in various ways.

A person didn't cease to be bisexual because they're monogamous and in a relationship with a person of the opposite gender. That's not what the identity is about, it's about who you're attracted to, sexually/romantically. That doesn't change because you're married.

But it doesn’t matter once you’re married. So why would you need to broadcast it to anyone once you are married?

Why doesn’t it matter? It’s still who they are.