Sorority rush - please make it sound appealing to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rush is startlingly similar to the law firm on campus interview (OCI) process.

No, it isn't. Those girls wouldn't get bids.

Not true at all, I matched at the most desirable sorority at my college and went on to a T5 law school and big law. Having strong social skills is always an advantage in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole thing is a laughingstock to the rest of the world who care to know of its existence. Which would be funny if the participants weren't so convinced of their own superiority, which ultimately makes the whole thing a bit sad. "We're laughing at you, not with you," as it were. I would personally avoid.

This. And people on DCUM trip over themselves to defend it, because being in an idiotic sorority was the highlight of their sad little lives and they still cling to it 20-30 years later.

Never fails to make me laugh at comments like this on a site where so many are obsessed with the inane nonsense that is travel sports.

What I notice is the sour grapes some 20 plus years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD rushed last year and I was in a sorority.

I preface this all by saying, neither of us rushed in the South. That's a whole different ballgame that I know nothing about.

It also varies by school but for DD (VA Tech) They suggest what type of outfit to wear for each day of rush. It gets more formal the further you get into rush. After each round you list you get to drop a certain # and the sororities drop a certain #. It goes on like this each round until you get down to 2. You rank them 1 and 2 and the sororities do the same. Yes, you may not get your top choice. You may not even get your second choice but I think that's pretty rare. If you don't like the bid you end with you don't have to take it.

NP

And are there people that don't get any bids?

yes, at every round.

And thats fine. Because you want to join a sorority with a group of women who share your values. If you dont receive a bid from a specific sorority, its bc they dont think that you share their values. And the matching process should be a two-way street.

Lets say you are a studious woman and you take school seriously. Joining the sorority that is women who only want to party doesnt align with your values. Or if you are a student athelete, the partiers probably wont align w your vales either.

Assuming so much here. At big, southern schools there are so many legacies, it doesn’t matter how perfectly suited you are to their “values” - you’re at the bottom and inevitably get dropped. And it’s lightening fast. You can’t actually get to know anyone so propaganda like this just makes girls feel inadequate and it’s a fine display of the misery of rush. Connections are everything. There have to be girls in the house who already know you somehow or there isn’t a reason in the works for them to pick you over the other 2,000 girls.

It’s a horrendously cruel process. So much so that the nice older girls would rather pay a fine to not participate - because it was a traumatic week for them even with a happy ending of a bid they took.

[Anonymous]

I find the whole thing just grates against everything we have been teaching our children about inclusivity and not excluding people because they are different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t Greek life mostly a southern thing? The whole thing smacks of backwater.

In all honesty, before I rushed I tried to make friends with people just by talking about how superior I am to them in every way, but that didn’t work. Do you have any tips? Clearly condescension has worked so well for you.

Isn’t the whole point of Greek life centered around ranking each other and talking about how superior you are to everyone else? The irony. I guess self awareness is one of those things they don’t teach you at Kappa Kappa Kappa.

[Anonymous]

It all sounds so shallow at best and discriminatory at worst. I’m so surprised that some of this generation are still interested in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't believe this hasn't been posted yet.
This is from the University of Maryland. Apparently, this is from the chair of a 'lower tier, very awkward sorority' that's been matched up with a 'pretty good frat' for Greek Week."


"If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough f++g ride.

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been F$&-+G UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so f-ng AWKWARD and so f++g BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee [first name redacted], I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to f&6&ng find you on campus to do it myself.". Link to full letter doesn't seem I can link it. Google, sorority girl letter deadspin

I just googled---that was in 2012.

What an illustrious history your precious sororities have. Roots in white supremacy, and cringeworthy social baiting a mere 10 years ago. Stellar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole thing is a laughingstock to the rest of the world who care to know of its existence. Which would be funny if the participants weren't so convinced of their own superiority, which ultimately makes the whole thing a bit sad. "We're laughing at you, not with you," as it were. I would personally avoid.

Hmmm. Your strong reaction to it suggests projection, past rejection and lingering feelings of inadequacy.

This is such a dumb response. It’s like seeing people express their disdain about, say, neo-Nazi chapters in the US and responding, “Hmm, this seems like it suggests projection, past rejection and lingering feelings of inadequacy.” Uh, lol. OK, sure bud. Whatever helps you get through the day. The point of the matter is the vast majority of people view Greek life as an antiquated, embarrassing practice majority upheld by awkward, interchangeable white people with zero personalities. Y’all are NPCs and don’t even realize it.

[Anonymous]

OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP there are lots of people on this board who simply hate greek life and can't imagine why anyone would do it. Got news for you, many of them don't even have kids in college and once they do, their kid may well be interested themselves. Why? because it's a way to make a large college smaller, to find "your people" which we are always talking about on this board. It's much easier to find your people in a group of 200 sorority sisters, as opposed to 15,000 under grads.

It's also just fun. They have an active social life, lots of parties and activities including charity events, and there are lots of leadership opportunities.

And again, there is a huge emphasis on diversity in greek life these days. These are not white blond girls anymore, though I can't speak for the SEC schools. My DDs house represents every ethnicity on campus and is a home for all their members, from the studious to the party girl and everyone in between. She has met a group of girls that she really enjoys being around (especially the older girls) and never would have met them had it not been for her sorority.

In reality, it's not much different than any other social club or even sports, or academic etc. Yes the rush process is tough, and that's because there are SO many people interested. When you have 15 houses and a thousand people interested, you are going to have to have a selection process.

This you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD rushed last year and I was in a sorority.

I preface this all by saying, neither of us rushed in the South. That's a whole different ballgame that I know nothing about.

It also varies by school but for DD (VA Tech) They suggest what type of outfit to wear for each day of rush. It gets more formal the further you get into rush. After each round you list you get to drop a certain # and the sororities drop a certain #. It goes on like this each round until you get down to 2. You rank them 1 and 2 and the sororities do the same. Yes, you may not get your top choice. You may not even get your second choice but I think that's pretty rare. If you don't like the bid you end with you don't have to take it.

Rush is a stressful process because what ends up happening is that all the girls tend to be most attracted to the "top" houses, which are the sororities that mix with the "top" fraternities. The problem with your average college freshman is that in those houses, you need to have connections, usually people from your high school (usually private) who get you in. Even if you go in thinking you don't care and you don't even know if you want to pledge anywhere, you often will "fall in love" with a house because you liked the girls you spoke to or all your friends are hoping to go there too, and unfortunately they may not fall in love with you. My DD is happy where she ended up but it was hell to go through for sure. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, she was dropped by all the houses she thought she loved after the first day, save one. When she called me in tears, I reminded her that she had called me after she met with this one house and asked me if Id ever heard of it before because she really loved the girls but just knew nothing about them. Since that was the only one she liked left, she really only focused on that one house to tell me how much she liked the girls. She just had never heard of them before so didn't know anything about them. The rest of rush ended up fine as that house is where she got a bid. It was heartbreaking for her and several of her friends to be cut from places they thought they had a good connection with but, if you asked all of them now, they ended up in the right house for them, and it really does usually work out that way. Today my DD would say she is so thankful that she didn't end up in the ones she thought were her first choice going in.

You do not need to accept a bid, and you can drop out of rush at any time. Even if you accept a bid, you can check it out and then drop if you don't like it.

But why did your DD feel the need to put herself thru this stress and heartbreak (the sorority I like doesn't like me)? Why not just make friends that she meets, picks and chooses, like most people do? Why the forced desire to be "accepted" by a sorority?

[Anonymous]

my dd is in a sorority. she loves it, but is in a northern school wear greek life is like 15%. I hear at the southern schools it's brutal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD rushed last year and I was in a sorority.

I preface this all by saying, neither of us rushed in the South. That's a whole different ballgame that I know nothing about.

It also varies by school but for DD (VA Tech) They suggest what type of outfit to wear for each day of rush. It gets more formal the further you get into rush. After each round you list you get to drop a certain # and the sororities drop a certain #. It goes on like this each round until you get down to 2. You rank them 1 and 2 and the sororities do the same. Yes, you may not get your top choice. You may not even get your second choice but I think that's pretty rare. If you don't like the bid you end with you don't have to take it.

NP

And are there people that don't get any bids?

It depends on the school but that would be rare. Many schools guarantee a bid if you go through the whole process.

And by “guarantee” they mean you may get one bid that you weren’t interested in at all. Washes their hands of it but your daughter is rejected by any house she had listed as preferences.

I've always called rush "pay to have friends". How can you find good friends with this superficial process? I don't pick my friends based on looks, how they dress, financial backing, etc. I pick based on type of person they are, are they genuine, nice, good person. I don't need some group of girls ranking me and deciding if I wore the right outfit to make the cut for the next round.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD rushed last year and I was in a sorority.

I preface this all by saying, neither of us rushed in the South. That's a whole different ballgame that I know nothing about.

It also varies by school but for DD (VA Tech) They suggest what type of outfit to wear for each day of rush. It gets more formal the further you get into rush. After each round you list you get to drop a certain # and the sororities drop a certain #. It goes on like this each round until you get down to 2. You rank them 1 and 2 and the sororities do the same. Yes, you may not get your top choice. You may not even get your second choice but I think that's pretty rare. If you don't like the bid you end with you don't have to take it.

Rush is a stressful process because what ends up happening is that all the girls tend to be most attracted to the "top" houses, which are the sororities that mix with the "top" fraternities. The problem with your average college freshman is that in those houses, you need to have connections, usually people from your high school (usually private) who get you in. Even if you go in thinking you don't care and you don't even know if you want to pledge anywhere, you often will "fall in love" with a house because you liked the girls you spoke to or all your friends are hoping to go there too, and unfortunately they may not fall in love with you. My DD is happy where she ended up but it was hell to go through for sure. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, she was dropped by all the houses she thought she loved after the first day, save one. When she called me in tears, I reminded her that she had called me after she met with this one house and asked me if Id ever heard of it before because she really loved the girls but just knew nothing about them. Since that was the only one she liked left, she really only focused on that one house to tell me how much she liked the girls. She just had never heard of them before so didn't know anything about them. The rest of rush ended up fine as that house is where she got a bid. It was heartbreaking for her and several of her friends to be cut from places they thought they had a good connection with but, if you asked all of them now, they ended up in the right house for them, and it really does usually work out that way. Today my DD would say she is so thankful that she didn't end up in the ones she thought were her first choice going in.

You do not need to accept a bid, and you can drop out of rush at any time. Even if you accept a bid, you can check it out and then drop if you don't like it.

But why did your DD feel the need to put herself thru this stress and heartbreak (the sorority I like doesn't like me)? Why not just make friends that she meets, picks and chooses, like most people do? Why the forced desire to be "accepted" by a sorority?

Its temporary because in reality what she may have liked on the surface wasn't the right fit for her. You have to keep going through the process and eventually at the end, you will have drop all pre-conceived notions and found somewhere you could see yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD rushed last year and I was in a sorority.

I preface this all by saying, neither of us rushed in the South. That's a whole different ballgame that I know nothing about.

It also varies by school but for DD (VA Tech) They suggest what type of outfit to wear for each day of rush. It gets more formal the further you get into rush. After each round you list you get to drop a certain # and the sororities drop a certain #. It goes on like this each round until you get down to 2. You rank them 1 and 2 and the sororities do the same. Yes, you may not get your top choice. You may not even get your second choice but I think that's pretty rare. If you don't like the bid you end with you don't have to take it.

NP

And are there people that don't get any bids?

It depends on the school but that would be rare. Many schools guarantee a bid if you go through the whole process.

And by “guarantee” they mean you may get one bid that you weren’t interested in at all. Washes their hands of it but your daughter is rejected by any house she had listed as preferences.

I've always called rush "pay to have friends". How can you find good friends with this superficial process? I don't pick my friends based on looks, how they dress, financial backing, etc. I pick based on type of person they are, are they genuine, nice, good person. I don't need some group of girls ranking me and deciding if I wore the right outfit to make the cut for the next round.

+1. The bending over backwards to justify Greek life is really weird.