PSA: when sending your kid with another parent to do an activity, please send more than $20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not like it when a kid loads up on snacks or frivolous things on my dime in addition to the pizza and snacks and admission that I already purchased.

Such a ridiculous complaint. You're an adult, use your words: "We're not buying snacks right now since we just had pizza." "We're not buying souvenirs right now." And then don't pay for it! I don't think my own kids would take advantage of someone else's hospitality, but also they're just kids who don't always know better. As a parent I can't watch them being someone else's guest, so I rely on reasonable adult hosts to set reasonable limits.

Anonymous wrote:child felt the need to take half of the fruit we picked for herself.

Again, use your words. "Larlo, since there were four of us picking, you can take a quarter of the fruit. Here are the berries for you to take home."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD had a friend who I watched once a week all summer. Her mother gave her money and the little girl just kept it. Was hard not to get annoyed.

I'd have asked the kid. "Janie, did your mom give you money you're supposed to give me?" If I was positive I'd say "Janie, I think your mom gave you money you're supposed to give me. Can I have it now please?" and if the kid said the mom didn't or she lost it I'd say "Okay, we'll ask her when she picks you up." And then I'd ask the mom in front of the kid.

Really? I am the PP to which you are responding. I didn't know for sure the mom gave her money. Probably should have clarified that in the beginning of this 2 month arrangement. Didn't want to make it a thing. Ofc my DD's friend had expensive tastes. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ETA to above: Ok, I do not mind paying but I do not like when kids take advantage of my good hospitality. I do not like it when a kid loads up on snacks or frivolous things on my dime in addition to the pizza and snacks and admission that I already purchased. This happened once and this child was not invited with us again. Lately, I took a child berry picking with us and paid admission and for containers. However, the child felt the need to take half of the fruit we picked for herself. I needed a certain amount for canning and barely made the amount I needed. I was not happy with this and she will not be coming with us again. Kids with manners and grace are welcomed.

I would obviously have a conversation with my child about not asking for extra snacks/gift shop items, but if impulse took over and they did, I would hope that you would just no. I know my children(9 and 6) and I'm sure most children, are not going to throw a tantrum or argue if you just tell them no. Kids do not realize they are taking "advantage." You have now blacklisted these kids, when you could have just been the adult in the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ETA to above: Ok, I do not mind paying but I do not like when kids take advantage of my good hospitality. I do not like it when a kid loads up on snacks or frivolous things on my dime in addition to the pizza and snacks and admission that I already purchased. This happened once and this child was not invited with us again. Lately, I took a child berry picking with us and paid admission and for containers. However, the child felt the need to take half of the fruit we picked for herself. I needed a certain amount for canning and barely made the amount I needed. I was not happy with this and she will not be coming with us again. Kids with manners and grace are welcomed.

Just to reframe this: she’s not a fully developed moral being (neither are mine or yours or anyone else’s). Sooo…. Tell her how much she’s going to bring home. Explain she represents one picker (presumably of at least 3), and this is her amount.

It takes a village.

[Anonymous]

Not to derail this thread, but do any of you spend more than $20 PER kid at the zoo? It’s free. What am I missing? Bring water, some goldfish packs, and maybe spring for the carrousel OR an ice cream.

[Anonymous]

If you invite a friend, then you pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ETA to above: Ok, I do not mind paying but I do not like when kids take advantage of my good hospitality. I do not like it when a kid loads up on snacks or frivolous things on my dime in addition to the pizza and snacks and admission that I already purchased. This happened once and this child was not invited with us again. Lately, I took a child berry picking with us and paid admission and for containers. However, the child felt the need to take half of the fruit we picked for herself. I needed a certain amount for canning and barely made the amount I needed. I was not happy with this and she will not be coming with us again. Kids with manners and grace are welcomed.

You are the parent in charge when they are with you. Just say no. You don’t have to buy them anything and everything. You can say no to extra snacks, gifts, etc.

This but it’s a bit bizarre not to let them bring home some berries they picked. That is pretty bad to bring a kid to pick fruit and not let them have any.

Please review the difference between "any" and "half" and then try again. Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

When I take my own kid to the zoo or a museum, I never spend more than $20 on them. We don’t buy souvenirs generally and while we might stop for a snack, we never eat a meal at an overpriced on-site spot. Usually I pack water bottles and a snack, or we might grab something like sandwiches nearby after (would not cost more than $20). Even at a sporting event, my kid is rarely going to consume more than $20 worth of food. She isn’t drinking alcohol.

An amusement park might cost more because we’d be there longer. If someone was taking my kid to an amusement park I’d offer to pay for the ticket and would either give my kid $30-40 or, if they were younger, give it to the supervising adult.

I wonder if part of the issue here is that OP is used to spending more at these places on her kids and then if they invite someone else it feels rude to be dropping a ton of cash on her own kids but not the guest. But… that’s what it means to host. Agree with others that you should set expectations (with the kids AND the parents) ahead of time. Otherwise, don’t invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$20 is not enough for a water park, amusement park, or even the zoo.

If you're afraid your kid might lose the money, just ask the parent to hold most of it for the kid.

Food and drinks are astronomical right now. Even if your kid brings a reusable bottle, $20 is not enough.

Wow, you are an absolute cheapskate!! You take money from other kids parents when you invite them to something? That is the trashiest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re HOSTING when you invite someone to a thing.

Stop being the person you’re being. It’s embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Op, next time ask the parent to pack a lunch and snacks. Tell the kids no souvenirs. Done. Easy. And, you pack your family food. The zoo is free.

[Anonymous]

If someone invited my kid to a water park I would have assumed that included tickets and food and sent emergency cash only. Sending more would seem insulting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to derail this thread, but do any of you spend more than $20 PER kid at the zoo? It’s free. What am I missing? Bring water, some goldfish packs, and maybe spring for the carrousel OR an ice cream.

I usually pay for the parking. And then if we need lunch, I’d probably buy it. Throw in some panda stuffies and voila.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to derail this thread, but do any of you spend more than $20 PER kid at the zoo? It’s free. What am I missing? Bring water, some goldfish packs, and maybe spring for the carrousel OR an ice cream.

What if I do the carousel AND an ice cream? Are you going to report me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop using the term PSA when it’s really just your cheap ass spouting off about something.

+1

What are you talking about OP? If you invite a child to the zoo, pay for their stuff.

Also who uses cash?!?

Uh, children do. Not every child in life is a DCUM spoiled brat with their own personal debit/credit card.

That escalated in a totally unnecessary way. Venmo seems well suited for situations like this, especially if you communicate that upfront.

And PSA: If you think people on this site raise a bunch of “spoiled brats”, maybe you should reconsider your engagement with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can't afford to pay for the friend don't invite him along.

Yrs...you invite you pay. Parents c are sending extra cash only.

If your kid greedy, send more than $20