Should we keep our kid at Big 3?

[Anonymous]

Seriously were any of us “unprepared” for college?

Today is total overkill for grades 9-12. 2-4 hours of homework a night for A/Bs, 3-4 hours a night for mostly As plus butt kissing the teachers for 1 of the 2 As and writing exactly what they want to hear, viewpoint-wise.

And so cool to read online essays and cliff note instead of the actual book and critically thinking or writing for oneself. That has PE investor or SCoTUS clerk quality work written all over it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was kind of a “coaster” at a Big 3. Smart enough to get As and Bs with modest effort, but not driven in the way that many of his peers were. I’m glad we kept him in private even though he didn’t work to his potential. He’s now in college, and very much engaged in his classes, benefiting from the high standards that were the norm at his high school. I think if he had coasted through in public school he might be in a very different place.

This is my son too. He came to a Big3 from public in 9th several years ago.
He is also a coaster. He's very smart and can get As/Bs with modest effort while classmates work twice as hard (for example, he never reads the books for English but can bullshit his way through the quizzes, papers and exams).

He has a sister, also at a Big3 who I'd guess is not as naturally smart but works her ass off for straight As. I have occasionally wondered if we are wasting money by sending my son to private. He coasted to straight high As in public (about 99% in every class) and now he's coasting to A/Bs in private. Maybe we should have left him in public because he's probably get into a better college with a potentially ridiculously high GPA.

The thing that has kept us from moving him back is that he is benefiting from the high standards at the Big3. He may not do all the work but he is doing far more than he did in public and he's ultimately he's going to be much better prepared for college.

You seem weirdly proud your child doesn’t read assigned books.

no, that was not what I intended to convey at all. It really bothers me that he doesn't read the books. Just gave that as an illustration of lack of effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was kind of a “coaster” at a Big 3. Smart enough to get As and Bs with modest effort, but not driven in the way that many of his peers were. I’m glad we kept him in private even though he didn’t work to his potential. He’s now in college, and very much engaged in his classes, benefiting from the high standards that were the norm at his high school. I think if he had coasted through in public school he might be in a very different place.

This is my son too. He came to a Big3 from public in 9th several years ago.
He is also a coaster. He's very smart and can get As/Bs with modest effort while classmates work twice as hard (for example, he never reads the books for English but can bullshit his way through the quizzes, papers and exams).

He has a sister, also at a Big3 who I'd guess is not as naturally smart but works her ass off for straight As. I have occasionally wondered if we are wasting money by sending my son to private. He coasted to straight high As in public (about 99% in every class) and now he's coasting to A/Bs in private. Maybe we should have left him in public because he's probably get into a better college with a potentially ridiculously high GPA.

The thing that has kept us from moving him back is that he is benefiting from the high standards at the Big3. He may not do all the work but he is doing far more than he did in public and he's ultimately he's going to be much better prepared for college.

You seem weirdly proud your child doesn’t read assigned books.

no, that was not what I intended to convey at all. It really bothers me that he doesn't read the books. Just gave that as an illustration of lack of effort.

Did your son write his own essay for 9th grade admission? I’m surprised he got in. Usually the 9th grade admits are super stars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he have a good friend group at school?
OP, your son sounds a lot like mine, also at a Big-3. We kept him there because he has a tight group of friends he's known since PK. Also, he's really happy at school.
My DS isn't type-A, but he's super smart, so he often gets away with doing the bare minimum. He's not particularly impressed by Ivy League aspirations (even though DH and I are products of them -- or maybe that's why he's not impressed, haha). However, now that he's about to be a junior, and he's interested in certain colleges, he's taking things more seriously. It's eye-opening for kids to see how high average GPAs and test scores need to be to get into what would have been "safety" schools a generation ago.

This is good to hear. Our son does have a solid group of friends, so I think it would be hard for him to leave them. I would never normally care if my kid got As and Bs- those are awesome grades!- but we know he is fully capable of all As with a little bit of effort, which he’s not putting forth right now. I’m hoping he’ll find his groove in high school but we were worried that if he keeps up the mentality of thinking he doesn’t need to work very hard to get good grades, then he’ll get a very rude wake up call when things get hard. We just want him to have better study habits and show us that he has some passion for learning. Maybe time and maturity is the trick. I do think that he will be better prepared for college if he sticks it out at this school, so fingers crossed he turns things around!

[Anonymous]

private school isn't just about college admissions

think about the environment and values you want you kid around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously were any of us “unprepared” for college?

Today is total overkill for grades 9-12. 2-4 hours of homework a night for A/Bs, 3-4 hours a night for mostly As plus butt kissing the teachers for 1 of the 2 As and writing exactly what they want to hear, viewpoint-wise.

And so cool to read online essays and cliff note instead of the actual book and critically thinking or writing for oneself. That has PE investor or SCoTUS clerk quality work written all over it!

No. The schools around here, public and private, develop very well prepared students at the college level. It’s still up to the student of course, to be an achiever or over achiever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously were any of us “unprepared” for college?

Today is total overkill for grades 9-12. 2-4 hours of homework a night for A/Bs, 3-4 hours a night for mostly As plus butt kissing the teachers for 1 of the 2 As and writing exactly what they want to hear, viewpoint-wise.

And so cool to read online essays and cliff note instead of the actual book and critically thinking or writing for oneself. That has PE investor or SCoTUS clerk quality work written all over it!

I remember going to college in the 90s and some of my classmates had never written a paper before and were seriously unprepared for the workload of college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously were any of us “unprepared” for college?

Today is total overkill for grades 9-12. 2-4 hours of homework a night for A/Bs, 3-4 hours a night for mostly As plus butt kissing the teachers for 1 of the 2 As and writing exactly what they want to hear, viewpoint-wise.

And so cool to read online essays and cliff note instead of the actual book and critically thinking or writing for oneself. That has PE investor or SCoTUS clerk quality work written all over it!

I remember going to college in the 90s and some of my classmates had never written a paper before and were seriously unprepared for the workload of college.

And?
What was their background?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously were any of us “unprepared” for college?

Today is total overkill for grades 9-12. 2-4 hours of homework a night for A/Bs, 3-4 hours a night for mostly As plus butt kissing the teachers for 1 of the 2 As and writing exactly what they want to hear, viewpoint-wise.

And so cool to read online essays and cliff note instead of the actual book and critically thinking or writing for oneself. That has PE investor or SCoTUS clerk quality work written all over it!

I remember going to college in the 90s and some of my classmates had never written a paper before and were seriously unprepared for the workload of college.

That was me. DC now goes to a Big 3 private. Although, I think they do a lot of writing in the local suburban publics too. Smaller class sizes though mean higher quality of instruction and feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously were any of us “unprepared” for college?

Today is total overkill for grades 9-12. 2-4 hours of homework a night for A/Bs, 3-4 hours a night for mostly As plus butt kissing the teachers for 1 of the 2 As and writing exactly what they want to hear, viewpoint-wise.

And so cool to read online essays and cliff note instead of the actual book and critically thinking or writing for oneself. That has PE investor or SCoTUS clerk quality work written all over it!

I remember going to college in the 90s and some of my classmates had never written a paper before and were seriously unprepared for the workload of college.

That was me. DC now goes to a Big 3 private. Although, I think they do a lot of writing in the local suburban publics too. Smaller class sizes though mean higher quality of instruction and feedback.

That was me too and is a good part of why we send our kids to a Big3. It's 25 years later and I still remember what it was like to hit college and not be able to write. We all have things we feel strongly about regarding our child rearing based on our own past experiences and this is mine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son is at a Big 3 school. He currently doesn't work very hard or study much, but manages to still get mostly As and a couple of Bs on his report card. We're worried that when he enters high school he will be in for a rude awakening and realize that he needs to buckle down and work a lot harder to get good grades. Right now he is totally unmotivated by school and more into video games. We're trying to decide if it even makes sense to keep him in private school and pay all this money for an education he doesn't seem to care much about. He's a smart kid so would probably do very well in public, and from what others have said on this board he might even have a chance of getting into a better college than if he sticks with private and is competing with much more accomplished kids. I think our son would be upset to leave his friends and the only school he's ever known, but we're frustrated by his apathy towards his education.

What would you do?

I would stop trolling and find something more productive to do. If any kid is getting As at a Big three there is a ton of work that is handed in. This is not the old days we’re a genius could just ace tests. Most classes the tests or assessments as they like to call are a fairly small part of grade. There are complicated projects, essays and group work. If you do not pull your weight in group project teacher knows. There are many things I do not like about our school-very preachy etc but the work is the work and it is way more detailed than a public school. I would triple it by hs. Public elementary schools are just as good as private in early years. No comparison unless you are talking TJ in older years.

[Anonymous]

where

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously were any of us “unprepared” for college?

Today is total overkill for grades 9-12. 2-4 hours of homework a night for A/Bs, 3-4 hours a night for mostly As plus butt kissing the teachers for 1 of the 2 As and writing exactly what they want to hear, viewpoint-wise.

And so cool to read online essays and cliff note instead of the actual book and critically thinking or writing for oneself. That has PE investor or SCoTUS clerk quality work written all over it!

I remember going to college in the 90s and some of my classmates had never written a paper before and were seriously unprepared for the workload of college.

That was me. DC now goes to a Big 3 private. Although, I think they do a lot of writing in the local suburban publics too. Smaller class sizes though mean higher quality of instruction and feedback.

Lol

Define small class size and what grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son is at a Big 3 school. He currently doesn't work very hard or study much, but manages to still get mostly As and a couple of Bs on his report card. We're worried that when he enters high school he will be in for a rude awakening and realize that he needs to buckle down and work a lot harder to get good grades. Right now he is totally unmotivated by school and more into video games. We're trying to decide if it even makes sense to keep him in private school and pay all this money for an education he doesn't seem to care much about. He's a smart kid so would probably do very well in public, and from what others have said on this board he might even have a chance of getting into a better college than if he sticks with private and is competing with much more accomplished kids. I think our son would be upset to leave his friends and the only school he's ever known, but we're frustrated by his apathy towards his education.

What would you do?

Have you tried having a call with the teacher the first couple weeks of school to set some goals or feedback loops?
Or just to ask for advice how to motivate and get the best efforts out of your student?

I’d start there. The teachers are the experts. Let them know you care.

[Anonymous]

Crazy idea — try to PARENT and teach and develop your kid, instead of farming it out to schools. Unless you’re too busy with the “prestigious” job gunning for the next promotion.