Should we keep our kid at Big 3?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the school doing to inspire him? Are there any classes he likes? Is he into any ECs or is there nothing there that interests him?

Private schools are supposed to “know the child”.

Why isn’t this happening at this school? Are they just focused on the loud mouths? Or the top 20% of students? Too many teachers with special interests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you think that he will become more of a slacker in an environment where there is more independence? I mean, what if you pull him out and he realizes that he can do even less and get by? What kind of education would he be getting then? At least if you stay, you know the expectations are high, the education is rigorous and he will be prepared for college.

I’m the big three with the step kid who posted above. I agree with this poster.

If you send your kid to public you will be tearing your hair on trying to figure out if he is turning in his assignments, etc.

Actually it’s all online and he or you can log in at any point and see the assignment, due dates, grades, feedback.

Our DC based pk-12 rarely sends anything home and we only get two conferences a year, which were pretty generic and not insightful until grade 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is GDS then switch schools. They won’t push him to work harder or do better in upper school either. Up to the kid or parents to provide that motivation or incentive.

But I read claims in another thread that GDS is a pressure cooker. So which is it? Can't be both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why we kept our kids in public.
It's hard to go from a luxury private to a bare-bones public,
and it's even harder when you leave your friends. If you have the money, I wouldn't switch schools at this point.

Just know this:
1. The transition from middle to high school is hard everywhere.
2. Parents who can afford it pay for tutoring, whether their child is in public or private.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pull him out. Our Big 3 made college acceptances much harder than if ours had stayed in public.

No one sends their kid to a private school because they think it is an expressway to an ivy League school. If you wanted that, then move to Arkansas.

That said, if the kid doesn't value the opportunity for a great education, then there is no reason to spend the money on it. Middle School is too young to make that evaluation, IMO. I would explain to the kid that the opportunity to attend this school is special, and if they don't value it, then the local public is a fine option and they will demonstrate over their Freshman year whether they want to be there or not.

[Anonymous]

You’d pull a kid out after 9th grade? Hahaha yeah right.

Do it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is GDS then switch schools. They won’t push him to work harder or do better in upper school either. Up to the kid or parents to provide that motivation or incentive.

But I read claims in another thread that GDS is a pressure cooker. So which is it? Can't be both.

It is a pressure cooker in that, if one wants to be challenged, they can be challenged. But a student can take less rigorous courses and slide through. These schools really allow highly motivated, highly functioning kids to thrive, but they are not for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is GDS then switch schools. They won’t push him to work harder or do better in upper school either. Up to the kid or parents to provide that motivation or incentive.

But I read claims in another thread that GDS is a pressure cooker. So which is it? Can't be both.

Answer is above. It’s a pressure cooker only if the parent or kid makes it so. School doesn’t care if you underperform, are mediocre, so the bare minimum, or do all the optional work possible. Well, the last one they’ll love you since they need your stats for marketing by and preserving the reputation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’d pull a kid out after 9th grade? Hahaha yeah right.

Do it now.

We know a ton of colleagues kids who were miserable in 9th grade or not doing well and it was just too overwhelming to apply out then. They just sucked it up and had a tough 4 years and are much happier in college. Both parents will opening say - to coworkers, not classmate parents- that they regret going to or staying at the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is GDS then switch schools. They won’t push him to work harder or do better in upper school either. Up to the kid or parents to provide that motivation or incentive.

But I read claims in another thread that GDS is a pressure cooker. So which is it? Can't be both.

Answer is above. It’s a pressure cooker only if the parent or kid makes it so. School doesn’t care if you underperform, are mediocre, so the bare minimum, or do all the optional work possible. Well, the last one they’ll love you since they need your stats for marketing by and preserving the reputation.

Sounds similar to the W school, Wilson, AAP, environment then. Choose your own path. But those publics have more students and friends to make.

Magnets mainly go getters and must be intense and school and teachers demand it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's a kid. More than that, he's a boy. Just because he's not motivated now doesn't mean he won't be in high school. I can't imagine labeling a kid a slacker and pulling him out of school over a few Bs. Jesus. I feel sorry for him.

+1

OP, what is it that you want? Your DS is making As and Bs with minimum effort. Is it that you want him to be making straight As? Study his ass off even though it doesn't appear that he has to? I'd delay the decision until after 9th and see if he'll respond to the increased demands of high school. He's only in 8th, sheesh.

[Anonymous]

It would be much easier for an unmotivated slacker to hide and become part of the wallpaper in a public school of 2000 students than one of the Big 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the diversity of answers. I truly appreciate all of the different perspectives. I don’t think my son is a slacker, nor does he have an unlimited amount of gaming/screen time. Gaming is just what he seems most interested in these days, and I wish he would feel the passion for school, sports or some other type of extracurricular, but he just doesn’t. I do think part of the problem is that he probably isn’t challenged enough currently, and maybe he’ll step up to the plate once he’s in high school. I am intrigued by the more diverse choices of classes and clubs in public, but I don’t know if it would be too overwhelming for him after being in private. He used to be this highly interested learner and was always making cool inventions as a kid, and I feel like he’s lost that spark, which makes me sad. He knows exactly what he needs to do to coast by in his classes and he’s very bright so it’s easy for him to get away with doing very little. I do feel guilt sometimes that he’s taking the spot of a kid that’s more “deserving” but I hope we can reignite his passion for learning again. We have told him that he needs to be a more invested student or we may pull him out of this school, so we’ll see what happens.

If gaming is his passion, why not lean into it? What is it about gaming that he loves? Is there anything about developing games and storylines that would spark his interest? Can he channel some of what he finds interesting about gaming toward an academic subject?

[Anonymous]

Consider moving to an All Boys school or school where it’s easier to ask teachers for help or more monitoring. The teachers actually care about EACH student and make efforts to figure each one out.

The coed Big 3 or 5 just don’t do it. They don’t check on the kid and they don’t check in with the parents.
Worse, when parents ask what’s going on or voice a question or concern, some Big 5 school teachers around here are coached to say everything is fine, thriving, great, on grade level, bug off we got this. But don’t offer anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would be much easier for an unmotivated slacker to hide and become part of the wallpaper in a public school of 2000 students than one of the Big 3.

Start naming names because not the case at ours. We have 3 kids and owns a slacker; it’s not been helpful for awhile.