Should we keep our kid at Big 3?

[Anonymous]

Have him get a remote internship. Seriously. My kid has one. This has forced him to manage his time more effectively, held him accountable, and helped him understand how technical interviews work, even for internships.

There are also summer-only or co-op opportunities with the federal government for talented high schoolers. It’s one advantage of living around here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's a kid. More than that, he's a boy. Just because he's not motivated now doesn't mean he won't be in high school. I can't imagine labeling a kid a slacker and pulling him out of school over a few Bs. Jesus. I feel sorry for him.

+1

OP, what is it that you want? Your DS is making As and Bs with minimum effort. Is it that you want him to be making straight As? Study his ass off even though it doesn't appear that he has to? I'd delay the decision until after 9th and see if he'll respond to the increased demands of high school. He's only in 8th, sheesh.

Get him in a top public, take geometry over the summer before, get straight As, focus on his strengths and favorite clubs or sports- be a leader in them. Have less projects and hours a nightly homework than at the Big 3 and make more friends. Triple win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have him get a remote internship. Seriously. My kid has one. This has forced him to manage his time more effectively, held him accountable, and helped him understand how technical interviews work, even for internships.

There are also summer-only or co-op opportunities with the federal government for talented high schoolers. It’s one advantage of living around here

Good idea.

Add more structure and direction to his life, because clearly the school is not and does not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Answer is above. It’s a pressure cooker only if the parent or kid makes it so. School doesn’t care if you underperform, are mediocre, so the bare minimum, or do all the optional work possible. Well, the last one they’ll love you since they need your stats for marketing by and preserving the reputation.

I'm a bit confused now. To me, a pressure cooker "only if the parent or kid makes it so" suggests that you can opt-out of that kind of experience. Which schools don't let you opt out? I assumed opting out was possible everywhere, not just at GDS.

[Anonymous]

Does he have a good friend group at school?
OP, your son sounds a lot like mine, also at a Big-3. We kept him there because he has a tight group of friends he's known since PK. Also, he's really happy at school.
My DS isn't type-A, but he's super smart, so he often gets away with doing the bare minimum. He's not particularly impressed by Ivy League aspirations (even though DH and I are products of them -- or maybe that's why he's not impressed, haha). However, now that he's about to be a junior, and he's interested in certain colleges, he's taking things more seriously. It's eye-opening for kids to see how high average GPAs and test scores need to be to get into what would have been "safety" schools a generation ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son is at a Big 3 school. He currently doesn't work very hard or study much, but manages to still get mostly As and a couple of Bs on his report card. We're worried that when he enters high school he will be in for a rude awakening and realize that he needs to buckle down and work a lot harder to get good grades. Right now he is totally unmotivated by school and more into video games. We're trying to decide if it even makes sense to keep him in private school and pay all this money for an education he doesn't seem to care much about. He's a smart kid so would probably do very well in public, and from what others have said on this board he might even have a chance of getting into a better college than if he sticks with private and is competing with much more accomplished kids. I think our son would be upset to leave his friends and the only school he's ever known, but we're frustrated by his apathy towards his education.

What would you do?

If he is happy at the school let him stay. Seriously. Life is short. In meantime you can set some limits on video games etc… but if he ks getting As and bs he is fine. He will find out for himself that he needs to buckle down. In meantime let him enjoy his summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Answer is above. It’s a pressure cooker only if the parent or kid makes it so. School doesn’t care if you underperform, are mediocre, so the bare minimum, or do all the optional work possible. Well, the last one they’ll love you since they need your stats for marketing by and preserving the reputation.

I'm a bit confused now. To me, a pressure cooker "only if the parent or kid makes it so" suggests that you can opt-out of that kind of experience. Which schools don't let you opt out? I assumed opting out was possible everywhere, not just at GDS.

Don’t be dense.

At a boarding school or proper academic elite school you’d be getting calls and e-mails if your kid was slacking off.
And if you didn’t do something, in conjunction with them - such as tutoring, behavior, testing, repeat classes, mental health help - you’d be counseled out by school years end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Answer is above. It’s a pressure cooker only if the parent or kid makes it so. School doesn’t care if you underperform, are mediocre, so the bare minimum, or do all the optional work possible. Well, the last one they’ll love you since they need your stats for marketing by and preserving the reputation.

I'm a bit confused now. To me, a pressure cooker "only if the parent or kid makes it so" suggests that you can opt-out of that kind of experience. Which schools don't let you opt out? I assumed opting out was possible everywhere, not just at GDS.

Don’t be dense.

At a boarding school or proper academic elite school you’d be getting calls and e-mails if your kid was slacking off.
And if you didn’t do something, in conjunction with them - such as tutoring, behavior, testing, repeat classes, mental health help - you’d be counseled out by school years end.

Unless you are an athlete or have a lot of cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Answer is above. It’s a pressure cooker only if the parent or kid makes it so. School doesn’t care if you underperform, are mediocre, so the bare minimum, or do all the optional work possible. Well, the last one they’ll love you since they need your stats for marketing by and preserving the reputation.

I'm a bit confused now. To me, a pressure cooker "only if the parent or kid makes it so" suggests that you can opt-out of that kind of experience. Which schools don't let you opt out? I assumed opting out was possible everywhere, not just at GDS.

Don’t be dense.

At a boarding school or proper academic elite school you’d be getting calls and e-mails if your kid was slacking off.
And if you didn’t do something, in conjunction with them - such as tutoring, behavior, testing, repeat classes, mental health help - you’d be counseled out by school years end.

PP is not familiar with either

[Anonymous]

DS is at GDS, and whenever there's a missed or late assignment, we receive an email from the teacher.

[Anonymous]

My kid was kind of a “coaster” at a Big 3. Smart enough to get As and Bs with modest effort, but not driven in the way that many of his peers were. I’m glad we kept him in private even though he didn’t work to his potential. He’s now in college, and very much engaged in his classes, benefiting from the high standards that were the norm at his high school. I think if he had coasted through in public school he might be in a very different place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is at GDS, and whenever there's a missed or late assignment, we receive an email from the teacher.

What grade does that start? Still waiting….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was kind of a “coaster” at a Big 3. Smart enough to get As and Bs with modest effort, but not driven in the way that many of his peers were. I’m glad we kept him in private even though he didn’t work to his potential. He’s now in college, and very much engaged in his classes, benefiting from the high standards that were the norm at his high school. I think if he had coasted through in public school he might be in a very different place.

Prob straight As, a travel sport plus time for 2-3 ECs at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was kind of a “coaster” at a Big 3. Smart enough to get As and Bs with modest effort, but not driven in the way that many of his peers were. I’m glad we kept him in private even though he didn’t work to his potential. He’s now in college, and very much engaged in his classes, benefiting from the high standards that were the norm at his high school. I think if he had coasted through in public school he might be in a very different place.

This is my son too. He came to a Big3 from public in 9th several years ago.
He is also a coaster. He's very smart and can get As/Bs with modest effort while classmates work twice as hard (for example, he never reads the books for English but can bullshit his way through the quizzes, papers and exams).

He has a sister, also at a Big3 who I'd guess is not as naturally smart but works her ass off for straight As. I have occasionally wondered if we are wasting money by sending my son to private. He coasted to straight high As in public (about 99% in every class) and now he's coasting to A/Bs in private. Maybe we should have left him in public because he's probably get into a better college with a potentially ridiculously high GPA.

The thing that has kept us from moving him back is that he is benefiting from the high standards at the Big3. He may not do all the work but he is doing far more than he did in public and he's ultimately he's going to be much better prepared for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was kind of a “coaster” at a Big 3. Smart enough to get As and Bs with modest effort, but not driven in the way that many of his peers were. I’m glad we kept him in private even though he didn’t work to his potential. He’s now in college, and very much engaged in his classes, benefiting from the high standards that were the norm at his high school. I think if he had coasted through in public school he might be in a very different place.

This is my son too. He came to a Big3 from public in 9th several years ago.
He is also a coaster. He's very smart and can get As/Bs with modest effort while classmates work twice as hard (for example, he never reads the books for English but can bullshit his way through the quizzes, papers and exams).

He has a sister, also at a Big3 who I'd guess is not as naturally smart but works her ass off for straight As. I have occasionally wondered if we are wasting money by sending my son to private. He coasted to straight high As in public (about 99% in every class) and now he's coasting to A/Bs in private. Maybe we should have left him in public because he's probably get into a better college with a potentially ridiculously high GPA.

The thing that has kept us from moving him back is that he is benefiting from the high standards at the Big3. He may not do all the work but he is doing far more than he did in public and he's ultimately he's going to be much better prepared for college.

You seem weirdly proud your child doesn’t read assigned books.