Is this weird? Met a married guy on vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went on a solo vacation this spring to the Caribbean. On one of the excursions I met a couple with their teen kids (hers). The husband was super outgoing and friendly. He saw me sitting alone and sat with me; his wife spoke to me, too, but was less outgoing. We got separated, but he and I had already exchanged Ig profiles. His wife was sitting with us while we exchanged them, and she looked up my profile on her phone. Mine is public because it’s for my musician gigs so I didn’t think much about it. I wouldn’t have given him mine if he was sneaking. I made some other friends on the excursion and we stay in touch, though they are female.

Anyway, the next day he DMd me to say he wanted to meet in the lobby to say goodbye (I was going to another city), that there was nothing to it other than he enjoyed talking to me. I thought maybe he felt sorry for me being alone, though I was having a great time. Or that maybe he and his wife were looking for a threesome? I said I’d be at the checkout desk at noon. He didn’t show up, which was fine, and I hopped in my cab and left. He DMd me while I was at the next city to see how it and the resort were, which seemed reasonable.

However, he continues to message me occasionally or comment on my Ig stories w/ heart eyes. He sent me a pic of him holding his dog and he happens to not have a shirt on in the pic. I ignore these messages. Now he told me he wants to move to DC (he lives in Seattle) next year! I said, oh, the whole family wants to move? He said it would be just him. They’ve only been married a couple years. He asked me to let him know if I know anyone renting a place out.

He’s a little younger than I (and his wife) and I wonder if he’s looking for a sugar mama? Is this some extended scam? It’s not super creepy but also not like legit networking…

If this story is real you need to get some kind of help for your need for random male attention. You "got separated" from a random married man on an excursion (what? why would you expect to stay with him? because his wife was with "her" kids, so he should be solo?) after exchanging social media profiles. You immediately start DMing with him, agreeing to meet up under the impression that he might be looking for a threesome, then continue DMing him long after the vacation ends, and don't wonder if this is weird until he asks if you can find him a condo near your house for when he leaves his wife of "a couple years" to follow you to DC. Mmkay.

[Anonymous]

You're weird for giving a married man your IG. You can't be that naive to think it was all just innocent. Smh.

[Anonymous]

OP is the weird single lady on vacation in the Caribbean who couples really want to avoid. And, let's be serious: when she goes on these solo vacations we all know what she's after.

[Anonymous]

OP I think you didn’t act right or whatever but omg how are you not completely freaked out by this stalkerish skeevy behavior?! He sounds so incredibly creepy, girl you in danger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a weirdo as well

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you didn’t act right or whatever but omg how are you not completely freaked out by this stalkerish skeevy behavior?! He sounds so incredibly creepy, girl you in danger.

She's not creeped out. She's getting off on it. Pathetic. Explains why she doesn't have a partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is the weird single lady on vacation in the Caribbean who couples really want to avoid. And, let's be serious: when she goes on these solo vacations we all know what she's after.

Omg, I do not get this vibe at all.

- she meets a couple, they exchange IG because they are interested that she is a musician, and she is happy to get more followers.
- they go separate ways.
- he DMs to say he wants to say bye (he is remembering she said she would depart that next day, which is too much attention already), she thinks it's weird, wonders what he's after, and says, "checking out at noon"
- he does not show up at checkout but does continue messaging, including a shirtless photo and a suggestion of meeting up.
- our OP ignores the messages.
-our OP wants to know, how freaked should I be?

Our OP is maybe a little naive, but things like this happen, and she did nothing untoward. Yes, OP, the guy wants to bang you. I understand you are a nice and friendly young lady, but you are justified to block him. Trust the instincts.

[Anonymous]

I also don’t think it’s at all odd that you exchanged handles. He was sitting right next to his wife when you showed them your page and they both followed you. You have a public music acct, it makes sense that you are promoting your brand and, if they were into your content, it makes sense they would follow you.

Everything after that is weird and he comes off as desperate and clingy. I’d keep a distance and block him if he keeps sliding into your dms.

[Anonymous]

you can't be for real OP. WTF?

[Anonymous]

The "help me find an apartment" thing is a test. It's to see what you are willing to do for him, and invest energy and effort in him. Even if he later retracts ("I'm not moving to DC after all") you'll still feel more connected because you expended this effort for him. Meanwhile he's done nothing and you ramp up your contact with him to maintain and expand the connection.

Moral of the story: don't do rando married guy's work for him. He can do it himself.

[Anonymous]

threesome is what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you didn’t act right or whatever but omg how are you not completely freaked out by this stalkerish skeevy behavior?! He sounds so incredibly creepy, girl you in danger.

She's not creeped out. She's getting off on it. Pathetic. Explains why she doesn't have a partner.

f

I don't have a partner because my husband died. Thanks for commenting, though!

[Lian]

Anonymous wrote:threesome is what they want.

Maybe, but i still thinks that there better way to express that wish. This guy could have just to do everything by his own. There are a lot of ways for swingers to bring all their memories to life. He could have visited special clubs for treesome or even for swingers https://fantasyapp.com/en/blog/swinger-clubs-in-san-diego/ maybe and done a threesome, who knows. But anyway i agree to you that this is weird actually

[Anonymous]

Lol. I am the OP, and this must have been resurrected because someone searched for ‘threesome.’

Update: he last contacted me to ask if I knew of anyone who’d be renting a house in DC next year because he was thinking of moving. I said, ‘Oh, the whole family is moving here?’ He said no, just him. I didn’t respond and that was the last I heard from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude is weird AF. What's wrong with you? Why haven't you blocked this weirdo?

OP, you seem...naive, even though you're talking casually about "maybe they wanted a threesome" and so on.

He's a married man who is keeping up with you so if he encounters you again you'll be softened up enough to have sex with him. "Heart eyes emojis"? A picture of him with his dog and he chooses one where, oops, he just happens to be shirtless but of course he's only posting about the dog....Talk of "moving" to DC? It's all nonsense. I'd wager he's not moving solo to DC but if he happens to have a business trip out this way, he'll want to meet up, tell you a sob story about his marriage's collapse and get a sympathy screw from you. The crap about helping him find an apartment if you know someone who's renting a place out -- come on, don't be this naive or gullible. It's just another line to make himself sound legit.

And OP, why have you not even considered that he's doing this same shtick with other women he met on vacation? Sending them the same gooey heart-eyes emojis, saying he's going to (sob, sob!) move All Alone to their cities? Don't think he isn't doing this with every woman who seemed receptive and who gave him her Instagram, email adddress, phone number, whatever.

Value yourself more highly than this. Block him entirely, and move on immediately. You're worth more than a pity f*#k with a dog like this. And I do not mean the dog he was holding in his oopsie-I'm-shirtless photo.

x10000

Well said. Don't be so naive, OP.