Chubby but beautiful girl

[Anonymous]

So this was me but I did not know I was beautiful (nor actually fat) but everyone around me was concerned I would be fat. I didnt fit into my friends clothes because I had developed muscle bellies at a young age. My mom was the least concerned person with fashion and/or makeup and she is rail thin while there is no part of my body that doesnt have a curve. She is a straight line and I have no straight lines. Maybe my nose? There was no one to help me dress or do makeup or learn about undergarments so I was kind of tomboyish frumpy and the only relation I had to being pretty was so you could get a good husband/get married/be desirable enough. Those were the only images/messages I got.

Tracee Ellis Ross said something about this and I wish I had heard this message as a kid growing up: "“We are told that our lives are not ours,” she explained in her interview. “We are taught and cultured in that way. It’s one of the reasons I feel so strongly about telling the stories that I tell. I wish I had known there were other choices, not just about how I could be living, but how I could feel about the way my life was.”

“I was raised by society to dream of my wedding, but I wish I had been dreaming of my life,” Ellis Ross continued. “There are so many ways to curate happiness, find love and create a family and we don’t talk about them. It creates so much shame and judgment.”"

The part of dreaming of the wedding is this underlying theme that if a man wants to marry you, you are considered worthy. Worthy being pretty. Desirable. Etc.

Your daughter will grow into whatever body she grows into. Make sure you are shepherding for a life not just as an item/attraction/etc.