Is it a phase? Elder LGBTQ – post your thoughts please

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not LGBTQ but I am 54.

There are 5 gay married couples on my DC block, all >50 y.o. Two are in their 70s. I am close friends with the 70/60 yr old married couple.

None of these people identify as trans, even though it's clearly safe for them to do so now in 2022. All are "gay" or "lesbian." I asked the same question as OP of my 70 yr old gay friend, who has a bazillion gay friends across the US and has been out for 50 years. His answer: he doesn't know a single person in his peer group who identifies as trans. They're gay, or lesbian, or heterosexual. Nobody is bi.

Being trans is very rare. Like, extremely rare. It's weird that people have become so obsessed with transgender people. Even your post is strange. Like, why even single out trans people in this way? This thread wasn't specifically trans related.

You seem unfamiliar with today’s middle schoolers. The portion of the population identifying as trans is in the double digits. It’s no longer “extremely rare”.

No, it isn't. About 150,000 thousand teenagers identify as trans, or .7%. 1.4 million adults identify as trans, or .6% Turn off your badly sourced media.

I've seen people (or the same person) make claims on here about how many people are identifying as trans and I asked where they got their information from as well. They had a link to some article. I can't remember exactly what the article said but when I read it, it didn't mean what they thought it did. It seems like lots of (and a lots here being defined as still a very small minority) kids are identifying as transgender. But the number of children actually asking for puberty blockers or HRT is vanishingly small. It's a moral panic by the right. They're always looking for something to be scared of. Right now, it's young people calling themselves nonbinary and coloring their hair purple. Will SOMEONE please think of the kids?! We MUST stop gender affirming medical care for trans kids because all of these kids are claiming they are nonbinary!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IMO things are mostly better now than when I was growing up in the 90s. That kids are more accepting now is great.

What I find potentially not great or healthy is so much focus on gender identity. I am an older lesbian and I meet all kids of queer people in social groups, old and young.
I find it sad so many are medically transitioning to the opposite gender instead of becoming proud lesbians in their own body, or feminine straight men in their own body. (Most Trans men and most trans women I’ve met, respectively)

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO things are mostly better now than when I was growing up in the 90s. That kids are more accepting now is great.

What I find potentially not great or healthy is so much focus on gender identity. I am an older lesbian and I meet all kids of queer people in social groups, old and young.
I find it sad so many are medically transitioning to the opposite gender instead of becoming proud lesbians in their own body, or feminine straight men in their own body. (Most Trans men and most trans women I’ve met, respectively)

+1

Yes. I am all for fluidity and acceptance and many of these trends. But I am a little worried that misogyny has weaved its way into the mix also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 50 F and though I've never had a same sex encounter, and have been married to my husband for 30+ years, I could see myself living a happy and (I think) sexually fulfilled life with another woman. I think we're not all binary, and given how acceptable it is currently, we'll likely have more same sex couples in the future.

+1

I think sexuality and identity is all very fluid. With more acceptance we will see more people willing to explore rather than just stick with the default. I wouldn’t rely on old data.

I have family members who didn’t come out until later in life and they are very supportive of youngest generation of kids/young adults’ journeys. They understand the fears and pain of judgmental friends/family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not LGBTQ but I am 54.

There are 5 gay married couples on my DC block, all >50 y.o. Two are in their 70s. I am close friends with the 70/60 yr old married couple.

None of these people identify as trans, even though it's clearly safe for them to do so now in 2022. All are "gay" or "lesbian." I asked the same question as OP of my 70 yr old gay friend, who has a bazillion gay friends across the US and has been out for 50 years. His answer: he doesn't know a single person in his peer group who identifies as trans. They're gay, or lesbian, or heterosexual. Nobody is bi.

This is very common.

Just like many straight couples don’t know any gay or trans people, many gay people don’t know any trans people. They are not synonymous. Trans is a whole different thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not LGBTQ but I am 54.

There are 5 gay married couples on my DC block, all >50 y.o. Two are in their 70s. I am close friends with the 70/60 yr old married couple.

None of these people identify as trans, even though it's clearly safe for them to do so now in 2022. All are "gay" or "lesbian." I asked the same question as OP of my 70 yr old gay friend, who has a bazillion gay friends across the US and has been out for 50 years. His answer: he doesn't know a single person in his peer group who identifies as trans. They're gay, or lesbian, or heterosexual. Nobody is bi.

This is very common.

Just like many straight couples don’t know any gay or trans people, many gay people don’t know any trans people. They are not synonymous. Trans is a whole different thing.

Seriously? I’d say half my 19-yr old daughter’s friends identity as Bi. Only the girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not LGBTQ but I am 54.

There are 5 gay married couples on my DC block, all >50 y.o. Two are in their 70s. I am close friends with the 70/60 yr old married couple.

None of these people identify as trans, even though it's clearly safe for them to do so now in 2022. All are "gay" or "lesbian." I asked the same question as OP of my 70 yr old gay friend, who has a bazillion gay friends across the US and has been out for 50 years. His answer: he doesn't know a single person in his peer group who identifies as trans. They're gay, or lesbian, or heterosexual. Nobody is bi.

This is very common.

Just like many straight couples don’t know any gay or trans people, many gay people don’t know any trans people. They are not synonymous. Trans is a whole different thing.

Seriously? I’d say half my 19-yr old daughter’s friends identity as Bi. Only the girls.

Bi and trans are not the same thing. Also, I'm sure these 70 year olds have had plenty of encounters with trans people at bars. They just aren't friends with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IMO things are mostly better now than when I was growing up in the 90s. That kids are more accepting now is great.

What I find potentially not great or healthy is so much focus on gender identity. I am an older lesbian and I meet all kids of queer people in social groups, old and young.
I find it sad so many are medically transitioning to the opposite gender instead of becoming proud lesbians in their own body, or feminine straight men in their own body. (Most Trans men and most trans women I’ve met, respectively)

Come on now. As a fellow older lesbian myself, even I know there is a different between sexual orientation and gender identity. An AMAB person who transitions and dates women would not be happy as a woman dating women. It isn't about being "proud"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IMO things are mostly better now than when I was growing up in the 90s. That kids are more accepting now is great.

What I find potentially not great or healthy is so much focus on gender identity. I am an older lesbian and I meet all kids of queer people in social groups, old and young.
I find it sad so many are medically transitioning to the opposite gender instead of becoming proud lesbians in their own body, or feminine straight men in their own body. (Most Trans men and most trans women I’ve met, respectively)

This. If we truly become a society with gender equality, one in which all men feel free to be "feminine" and all women feel free to be "masculine," I think we would see far fewer gender transitions. (Probably not gonna happen, but.... it would be nice.) People should not have to undergo costly and potentially risky surgery and medical procedures in order to feel comfortable expressing their gender any way they like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO things are mostly better now than when I was growing up in the 90s. That kids are more accepting now is great.

What I find potentially not great or healthy is so much focus on gender identity. I am an older lesbian and I meet all kids of queer people in social groups, old and young.
I find it sad so many are medically transitioning to the opposite gender instead of becoming proud lesbians in their own body, or feminine straight men in their own body. (Most Trans men and most trans women I’ve met, respectively)

This. If we truly become a society with gender equality, one in which all men feel free to be "feminine" and all women feel free to be "masculine," I think we would see far fewer gender transitions. (Probably not gonna happen, but.... it would be nice.) People should not have to undergo costly and potentially risky surgery and medical procedures in order to feel comfortable expressing their gender any way they like.

You’re conflating gender expression and gender identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO things are mostly better now than when I was growing up in the 90s. That kids are more accepting now is great.

What I find potentially not great or healthy is so much focus on gender identity. I am an older lesbian and I meet all kids of queer people in social groups, old and young.
I find it sad so many are medically transitioning to the opposite gender instead of becoming proud lesbians in their own body, or feminine straight men in their own body. (Most Trans men and most trans women I’ve met, respectively)

This. If we truly become a society with gender equality, one in which all men feel free to be "feminine" and all women feel free to be "masculine," I think we would see far fewer gender transitions. (Probably not gonna happen, but.... it would be nice.) People should not have to undergo costly and potentially risky surgery and medical procedures in order to feel comfortable expressing their gender any way they like.

You’re conflating gender expression and gender identity.

We are just overthinking every damn thing now…

[Anonymous]

I don’t see the harm in teenagers exploring gender fluidity and bisexuality even if they end up deciding they’re cis suburban borings in the ends. Teens have always been about stretching and abandoning elements of their identity. There’s no harm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO things are mostly better now than when I was growing up in the 90s. That kids are more accepting now is great.

What I find potentially not great or healthy is so much focus on gender identity. I am an older lesbian and I meet all kids of queer people in social groups, old and young.
I find it sad so many are medically transitioning to the opposite gender instead of becoming proud lesbians in their own body, or feminine straight men in their own body. (Most Trans men and most trans women I’ve met, respectively)

This. If we truly become a society with gender equality, one in which all men feel free to be "feminine" and all women feel free to be "masculine," I think we would see far fewer gender transitions. (Probably not gonna happen, but.... it would be nice.) People should not have to undergo costly and potentially risky surgery and medical procedures in order to feel comfortable expressing their gender any way they like.

You’re conflating gender expression and gender identity.

We are just overthinking every damn thing now…

It's absolutely not overthinking. Gender identity and expression are two different things.

If you put on a men's suit, you're not suddenly a trans man. That's not how it works. It just means you want to wear a men's suit right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO things are mostly better now than when I was growing up in the 90s. That kids are more accepting now is great.

What I find potentially not great or healthy is so much focus on gender identity. I am an older lesbian and I meet all kids of queer people in social groups, old and young.
I find it sad so many are medically transitioning to the opposite gender instead of becoming proud lesbians in their own body, or feminine straight men in their own body. (Most Trans men and most trans women I’ve met, respectively)

This. If we truly become a society with gender equality, one in which all men feel free to be "feminine" and all women feel free to be "masculine," I think we would see far fewer gender transitions. (Probably not gonna happen, but.... it would be nice.) People should not have to undergo costly and potentially risky surgery and medical procedures in order to feel comfortable expressing their gender any way they like.

You’re conflating gender expression and gender identity.

We are just overthinking every damn thing now…

It's absolutely not overthinking. Gender identity and expression are two different things.

If you put on a men's suit, you're not suddenly a trans man. That's not how it works. It just means you want to wear a men's suit right now.

Isn’t it called just “wearing menswear”?
And FYI I love my lace up mens shoes. F heels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO things are mostly better now than when I was growing up in the 90s. That kids are more accepting now is great.

What I find potentially not great or healthy is so much focus on gender identity. I am an older lesbian and I meet all kids of queer people in social groups, old and young.
I find it sad so many are medically transitioning to the opposite gender instead of becoming proud lesbians in their own body, or feminine straight men in their own body. (Most Trans men and most trans women I’ve met, respectively)

This. If we truly become a society with gender equality, one in which all men feel free to be "feminine" and all women feel free to be "masculine," I think we would see far fewer gender transitions. (Probably not gonna happen, but.... it would be nice.) People should not have to undergo costly and potentially risky surgery and medical procedures in order to feel comfortable expressing their gender any way they like.

You’re conflating gender expression and gender identity.

We are just overthinking every damn thing now…

It's absolutely not overthinking. Gender identity and expression are two different things.

If you put on a men's suit, you're not suddenly a trans man. That's not how it works. It just means you want to wear a men's suit right now.

Isn’t it called just “wearing menswear”?
And FYI I love my lace up mens shoes. F heels.

You seem to be missing the point here. If you couldn't wear those men's shoes, you wouldn't suddenly become transgender and want to go on T.