Friends who never reciprocate

[Anonymous]

It’s only money, if you have the means then don’t lose a friendship over money. Just because they appear wealthy you don’t know what goes on in their household. You don’t know who controls the money, you don’t know if there’s a reason she doesn’t want you over. There are things in everyone’s house you just don’t know about and probably shouldn’t ask. If you have the means to continue your relationship as you have been don’t lose a friend over money People first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who said - that's who they are. Either continue to invite them knowing this, or don't.

This. And it can either bother you or you can let it go. Neither answer is right, it's up to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s only money, if you have the means then don’t lose a friendship over money. Just because they appear wealthy you don’t know what goes on in their household. You don’t know who controls the money, you don’t know if there’s a reason she doesn’t want you over. There are things in everyone’s house you just don’t know about and probably shouldn’t ask. If you have the means to continue your relationship as you have been don’t lose a friend over money People first.

Op here. We do have the means. Due to Covid, we just saw them so frequently. I think it just annoyed me that she didn’t cover me the one time we went out to dinner when she could have easily just bought me dinner.

Most of my friends just split the bill when we go out so it is no big deal.

I have not invited them over for a while and my child was just asking when we could have a play date with these friends again.

[Anonymous]

OP, they aren't advancing the relationship. Why do you even entertain the question of, "Do I have the right to be annoyed?." I think that's the most annoying.

[Anonymous]

She had you venmo her your share of a presumably casual lunch?! I would honestly wonder if they are in fact very tight on cash. Either they are deep in debt or she is an incredibly cheap, selfish and unaware person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She had you venmo her your share of a presumably casual lunch?! I would honestly wonder if they are in fact very tight on cash. Either they are deep in debt or she is an incredibly cheap, selfish and unaware person.

+1. It’s cheap behavior even if the relationship is reciprocal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Typical of here that a kind gesture is now getting turned on the OP by the snark squad saying she is doing something wrong by asking for it to be reciprocal. OP you should have said it was your mom or MIL and they would have backed you. This is the worst mom forum I have come across for support or useful advice. It's filled with bored mean women looking for an outlet to taker their aggression out on other women.

I have to agree with this. Except urbanbaby/youbemom (NYC version of this) was pretty awful too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She had you venmo her your share of a presumably casual lunch?! I would honestly wonder if they are in fact very tight on cash. Either they are deep in debt or she is an incredibly cheap, selfish and unaware person.

+1. It’s cheap behavior even if the relationship is reciprocal.

Or it could be that she had someone scoff at her one time when she paid and didn't ask to be reimbursed.

I always feel people out - I have the means and I like being a generous person, but I had someone blow up at me once after I covered multiple things over time and they said I made them feel bad by doing it (which was not at all my intention). So now I'm a little more wary. I'm always happy to treat anyone but I try to be better about reading the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like it when other people pick up the tab. It’s really simple to split checks these days. Just pay for what you ordered and I will too.

That’s fine for you, but this lady is perfectly okay with other people picking up her tab. She’ll just never reciprocate.

Never. OP stop extending yourself to her. Just bc your husband's get along doesn't mean you ALL have to hangout. The husbands can hang out by themselves.

[Anonymous]

OP, she is incredibly rude if she has not reciprocated. I'd be mad too. I'm happy to have people over the majority of the time, but once in a while, the other person should do the inviting, even if they are hesitant to have people in their house. It's just the right thing to do.