Frat sweetheart

[Anonymous]

A trusted one-of-the guys, to give the guys a female-perspective on things. Only guys deciding for/about the frat, all the time, about everything is not ideal. Re: interpersonal relationships too. Sort of a sister role. Enough of the guys see her this way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frat Sweetheart here. I have never attended a frat reunion. I am unaware of any former sweethearts or little sisters who attend who didn't marry the frat brother.

Really? That is the exact opposite of the sweethearts who I know. Not one of them married anyone from the frat, or any frat.

I am the PP, and I certainly am a case in point. I didn't marry my frat boyfriend. But plenty of girls I knew married what essentially was their college BF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a “little sister” at a frat. And I wasn’t in a sorority. But “my big brother” literally was like my big brother. And I never dated him or anyone else at his frat. I think I reminded him of his real little sister. I could go to his frat to study, go to parties/dance, drink and hang out. And while at Tim’s frat/house, nothing ever happened to me. Never hassled, touched, followed, etc because all the guys knew I was Tim’s little sister. And there were some frats at my big 10 school, I would cross the street to stay far away from even in broad daylight.

What kind of Stockholm Syndrome + Madonna/whore trope mash up is this?

You’ve got problems PP.
I really don’t understand the hate that the Greek system gets on this board but that’s neither here nor there as everyone’s DC can decide for themselves but the above comment is way over the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, sounds like it varies. My experience was, my sorority sister became sweetheart of a fraternity. Her boyfriend was in that fraternity. The brothers came to the sorority house and sang her a song. It was sweet. As far as I know, the title of sweetheart didn't convey any responsibilities or anything. The fraternity brothers held her in esteem, like they would have her back if she had any trouble.

Yes, that is the "image".

Just go ahead and admit you were never in greek life. The above is all it is. There is absolutely nothing sexual about a fraternity sweetheart, no matter how much you want to demonize it. It’s always one of the guys girlfriends and the girl is treated with genuine respect.

Shouldn’t all the women they come in contact with be treated respectfully?

[Anonymous]

I can share my experience. When I was a junior, I met someone over the summer at the beach and we fell in love. I was at a highly respected NE school and he was at a large southern university - not the deep south.

We dated for nearly 4 years and were very serious. We visited each other many times at our respective schools. I stayed with him in the frat house numerous times, went to football games and big traditional frat dances, parties and events. I noticed there were girls hanging at the frat all the time and I got to know them. I also noticed some girls showed up at each event to party and partied hard. My BF explained to me how some things worked and some "secret" things about the frat.

He said there were 3 types of girls associated with the frat. The highest in the hierarchy and the most respected and protected were the girlfriends. Then came the little sisters. They were like friends of the brothers, real friends, but sometimes dated them and were around all the time. They were fun. The guys were protective of them to a point. Last were the coke whores. Yes, they were referred to this way. People in this thread alluding to "other names for them" might be referring to this type of description, I don't know. They were around for the parties and did drugs, got drunk and hooked up with the brothers.

I was told not to say "frat" but to say the whole word. The brothers were all from wealthy families and drove nice trucks and SUVs, families had beach houses, ski vacations, etc, including my old BF. My BF also showed me a hole between 2 rooms where brothers would watch each other having sex with girls. I was pretty horrified by all this, we eventually broke up obviously for all kinds of reasons (thank God, looking back). Just my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, sounds like it varies. My experience was, my sorority sister became sweetheart of a fraternity. Her boyfriend was in that fraternity. The brothers came to the sorority house and sang her a song. It was sweet. As far as I know, the title of sweetheart didn't convey any responsibilities or anything. The fraternity brothers held her in esteem, like they would have her back if she had any trouble.

Yes, that is the "image".

Just go ahead and admit you were never in greek life. The above is all it is. There is absolutely nothing sexual about a fraternity sweetheart, no matter how much you want to demonize it. It’s always one of the guys girlfriends and the girl is treated with genuine respect.

Shouldn’t all the women they come in contact with be treated respectfully?

Who said they don’t treat all women with respect?
Some frat guys are absolute gentlemen. Others are absolute dckwads. The exact same is true of guys who have never been anywhere near Greek life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, sounds like it varies. My experience was, my sorority sister became sweetheart of a fraternity. Her boyfriend was in that fraternity. The brothers came to the sorority house and sang her a song. It was sweet. As far as I know, the title of sweetheart didn't convey any responsibilities or anything. The fraternity brothers held her in esteem, like they would have her back if she had any trouble.

Yes, that is the "image".

Just go ahead and admit you were never in greek life. The above is all it is. There is absolutely nothing sexual about a fraternity sweetheart, no matter how much you want to demonize it. It’s always one of the guys girlfriends and the girl is treated with genuine respect.

Shouldn’t all the women they come in contact with be treated respectfully?

I love how you pretend as if college women, in Greek life or not, treat everyone they come in contact with respectfully. It's college -- it's full of arrogant rich kids and narcissistic a-holes and "student"-athletes who think they're God's gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a “little sister” at a frat. And I wasn’t in a sorority. But “my big brother” literally was like my big brother. And I never dated him or anyone else at his frat. I think I reminded him of his real little sister. I could go to his frat to study, go to parties/dance, drink and hang out. And while at Tim’s frat/house, nothing ever happened to me. Never hassled, touched, followed, etc because all the guys knew I was Tim’s little sister. And there were some frats at my big 10 school, I would cross the street to stay far away from even in broad daylight.

What kind of Stockholm Syndrome + Madonna/whore trope mash up is this?

Agreed, this is horrible and magnificent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a “little sister” at a frat. And I wasn’t in a sorority. But “my big brother” literally was like my big brother. And I never dated him or anyone else at his frat. I think I reminded him of his real little sister. I could go to his frat to study, go to parties/dance, drink and hang out. And while at Tim’s frat/house, nothing ever happened to me. Never hassled, touched, followed, etc because all the guys knew I was Tim’s little sister. And there were some frats at my big 10 school, I would cross the street to stay far away from even in broad daylight.

What kind of Stockholm Syndrome + Madonna/whore trope mash up is this?

You’ve got problems PP.
I really don’t understand the hate that the Greek system gets on this board but that’s neither here nor there as everyone’s DC can decide for themselves but the above comment is way over the top.

Oh, it’s not. It’s nail on the head. The post is so cringe I can’t cringe hard enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can share my experience. When I was a junior, I met someone over the summer at the beach and we fell in love. I was at a highly respected NE school and he was at a large southern university - not the deep south.

We dated for nearly 4 years and were very serious. We visited each other many times at our respective schools. I stayed with him in the frat house numerous times, went to football games and big traditional frat dances, parties and events. I noticed there were girls hanging at the frat all the time and I got to know them. I also noticed some girls showed up at each event to party and partied hard. My BF explained to me how some things worked and some "secret" things about the frat.

He said there were 3 types of girls associated with the frat. The highest in the hierarchy and the most respected and protected were the girlfriends. Then came the little sisters. They were like friends of the brothers, real friends, but sometimes dated them and were around all the time. They were fun. The guys were protective of them to a point. Last were the coke whores. Yes, they were referred to this way. People in this thread alluding to "other names for them" might be referring to this type of description, I don't know. They were around for the parties and did drugs, got drunk and hooked up with the brothers.

I was told not to say "frat" but to say the whole word. The brothers were all from wealthy families and drove nice trucks and SUVs, families had beach houses, ski vacations, etc, including my old BF. My BF also showed me a hole between 2 rooms where brothers would watch each other having sex with girls. I was pretty horrified by all this, we eventually broke up obviously for all kinds of reasons (thank God, looking back). Just my experience.

So when you found out about the tiers of women, you went back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can share my experience. When I was a junior, I met someone over the summer at the beach and we fell in love. I was at a highly respected NE school and he was at a large southern university - not the deep south.

We dated for nearly 4 years and were very serious. We visited each other many times at our respective schools. I stayed with him in the frat house numerous times, went to football games and big traditional frat dances, parties and events. I noticed there were girls hanging at the frat all the time and I got to know them. I also noticed some girls showed up at each event to party and partied hard. My BF explained to me how some things worked and some "secret" things about the frat.

He said there were 3 types of girls associated with the frat. The highest in the hierarchy and the most respected and protected were the girlfriends. Then came the little sisters. They were like friends of the brothers, real friends, but sometimes dated them and were around all the time. They were fun. The guys were protective of them to a point. Last were the coke whores. Yes, they were referred to this way. People in this thread alluding to "other names for them" might be referring to this type of description, I don't know. They were around for the parties and did drugs, got drunk and hooked up with the brothers.

I was told not to say "frat" but to say the whole word. The brothers were all from wealthy families and drove nice trucks and SUVs, families had beach houses, ski vacations, etc, including my old BF. My BF also showed me a hole between 2 rooms where brothers would watch each other having sex with girls. I was pretty horrified by all this, we eventually broke up obviously for all kinds of reasons (thank God, looking back). Just my experience.

This is so, so, so disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can share my experience. When I was a junior, I met someone over the summer at the beach and we fell in love. I was at a highly respected NE school and he was at a large southern university - not the deep south.

We dated for nearly 4 years and were very serious. We visited each other many times at our respective schools. I stayed with him in the frat house numerous times, went to football games and big traditional frat dances, parties and events. I noticed there were girls hanging at the frat all the time and I got to know them. I also noticed some girls showed up at each event to party and partied hard. My BF explained to me how some things worked and some "secret" things about the frat.

He said there were 3 types of girls associated with the frat. The highest in the hierarchy and the most respected and protected were the girlfriends. Then came the little sisters. They were like friends of the brothers, real friends, but sometimes dated them and were around all the time. They were fun. The guys were protective of them to a point. Last were the coke whores. Yes, they were referred to this way. People in this thread alluding to "other names for them" might be referring to this type of description, I don't know. They were around for the parties and did drugs, got drunk and hooked up with the brothers.

I was told not to say "frat" but to say the whole word. The brothers were all from wealthy families and drove nice trucks and SUVs, families had beach houses, ski vacations, etc, including my old BF. My BF also showed me a hole between 2 rooms where brothers would watch each other having sex with girls. I was pretty horrified by all this, we eventually broke up obviously for all kinds of reasons (thank God, looking back). Just my experience.

This is so, so, so disgusting.[/quote

Agreed. How could you find anyone who voluntarily participated in this environment appealing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They get “passed around.” A lot.

This is what I heard. And there were unsavory ways to become the sweetheart. At least at one Southern school that an alum told me about.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry but nothing, absolutely nothing about this whole sweetheart thing sounds healthy or appealing. Hope my kid takes a hard pass on this.

Just one question: For the female perspective this is supposed to give, older sisters (vs little sisters) are not an option, eh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a “little sister” at a frat. And I wasn’t in a sorority. But “my big brother” literally was like my big brother. And I never dated him or anyone else at his frat. I think I reminded him of his real little sister. I could go to his frat to study, go to parties/dance, drink and hang out. And while at Tim’s frat/house, nothing ever happened to me. Never hassled, touched, followed, etc because all the guys knew I was Tim’s little sister. And there were some frats at my big 10 school, I would cross the street to stay far away from even in broad daylight.

What kind of Stockholm Syndrome + Madonna/whore trope mash up is this?

You’ve got problems PP.
I really don’t understand the hate that the Greek system gets on this board but that’s neither here nor there as everyone’s DC can decide for themselves but the above comment is way over the top.

Oh, it’s not. It’s nail on the head. The post is so cringe I can’t cringe hard enough.

These threads are cringe because most of the strivers who obsess over getting their teen into a "top 25" are insecure middle class, often low status feds and SAHMs. They were uncool in college, on the outside looking in of Greek life. And still hold that resentment and insecurity 20 and 30 years later.