ex DH would like to not have formal CS agreement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We were married overseas (his home country) 17 years ago and he sent me the divorce documents from that country which don't even mention our two children

OP this is pretty big. Divorce documents from another country hold no standing in the US. Why would he take this step unless there's further plans involving that country? Man I would be moving fast to prevent my kids from leaving the US, in any capacity.

It doesn't sound like Dad is taking the kids AND at any time OP can file for chid support and hasn't. She's posted here before. This is fake.

[Anonymous]

OP here with an update. Thanks so much to those who responded, I looked back on the thread a few times in the last few months and appreciated the encouragement. After my original post my lawyer pursued things further. My ex did indeed get quite angry and unfortunately said things about it to the kids which I really hoped to avoid. That has been the most negative outcome. For a month or so he argued back and forth with my lawyer and said some ugly things but who cares. I am not sure if ex DH consulted his own lawyer or someone else but he fortunately figured out that the settlement I/my lawyer offered was very reasonable and agreed. The paperwork is in the process of being signed now.

1000000% to the posters who said custody and risk of parental kidnapping (however minute) is the real concern here! May not have been clear in the OP, but I started the process because when he insisted on visiting and demonstrated he wouldnt respect any boundaries it was clear I needed to ensure I had legal protection re:custody. Before, I was letting the CS go (foolishly?) because I didn't want to trigger anything. But once I engaged thr lawyer, the CS was literally the only thing he fought back on.

Most of the responses on this thread were thoughtful and I really appreciate it!

[Anonymous]

Sounds even more fake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forgot to add, those kids' passports go in a safe deposit box yesterday. When he realizes you won't be intimidated and this is going to cost him he'll get mad. Just be prepared for that.

Agree with this! And if the kids are citizens of dad’s
Home country make sure those passports are included.

[Anonymous]

OP again, I wish it were fake! One child's passport expired and I didn't renew it, the other will expire soon. It means I can't take the children put of the coubtry either but that is fine for now. The kids aren't citizens of his home country (Pakistan).

[Anonymous]

OP, good for you. Glad you have good counsel and have a fair agreement in place. Let the passports stay expired. Domestic travel can keep you busy until they are 18 and is far preferable to kidnapping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again, I wish it were fake! One child's passport expired and I didn't renew it, the other will expire soon. It means I can't take the children put of the coubtry either but that is fine for now. The kids aren't citizens of his home country (Pakistan).

He may be able to unilaterally apply for Pakistani citizenship for them and get them Pakistani passports. Ask your lawyer about this possibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes OP it's obvious you need to see a lawyer. CS needs to be wage garnished, a good life insurance policy on him to cover CS in case he dies. You will be in charge of that so he can't cancel. A lot of things you need to be smart about.

CS is rarely wage garnished. Also OP cannot negotiate CS. It’s owed the children, not her and it’s done by formula.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again, I wish it were fake! One child's passport expired and I didn't renew it, the other will expire soon. It means I can't take the children put of the country either but that is fine for now. The kids aren't citizens of his home country (Pakistan).

He may be able to unilaterally apply for Pakistani citizenship for them and get them Pakistani passports. Ask your lawyer about this possibility.

OP here, thanks, in theory there are protections because Pakistan is a Hauge convention signatory but that doesn't mean that officials couldn't be bribed or a loophole found. I hope I would pick up on things before it deteriorated to that point though (I have no real reason to be concerned about it now and my ex has family ties including two siblings living in the US). We lived overseas most of the kids' lives so it is a bit sad that we can't visit friends' still living abroad. However, not worth even the tiny risk for these few years left I have to worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes OP it's obvious you need to see a lawyer. CS needs to be wage garnished, a good life insurance policy on him to cover CS in case he dies. You will be in charge of that so he can't cancel. A lot of things you need to be smart about.

CS is rarely wage garnished. Also OP cannot negotiate CS. It’s owed the children, not her and it’s done by formula.

If she goes through the child support office or court she can get it garnished. She needs to apply vs. or plain. This is her doing or this is fake.