what would you do? Private vs. public - son doesn't want to go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher in a private HS and a parent to one teen who chose public and one teen who chose private. They are both happy and thriving (academically, socially, and in a range of activities).

Please, listen to your children. Nothing is more important than their happiness, and for so many of our stressed-out, exhausted, pandemic-shaken kids, finding happiness is the biggest challenge in their worlds right now. Teenagers are people with opinions that are worthy of our respect. Years from now, your children will remember how they felt above all, whether they understand the rationale of the decisions you made or not.

For the OP, I'd ask you to consider that weighing the prospect of an 8th-grader's eventually playing DIII basketball is something that may not be realistic or even something that child is interested in four years from now. In regard to ADHD, I'll admit under anonymity that I think quite a few of the students in my private school would be better served in public, where the schools are legally required to provide specific accommodations and all the teachers have education degrees. It sounds as if the OP is frustrated by the help they "have" to provide their child in public, and to that I'd ask two things: 1) What would happen if you didn't provide all that help? and 2) Are you certain that you won't have to provide substantial help even at private?

Again, I'd put kids' happiness above all. If your kid is willing to try something different, great. If you have to force them, I think it's just not worth it.

Make sure you pay attention to this post^^

[Anonymous]

If he goes to private school and repeats eighth grade, hates it, and returns to public school, he is going to be permanently removed from the friend group he has made.

[Anonymous]

If he has a good group of friends that you are happy with, at least consider the risk that you might not find that with a change in schools. An unavoidable change in schools for one of my kids (from regular to special needs school) resulted in a friend group that introduced him to drugs, drinking and so much more. Yes, my son made choices to engage. And he might have regardless. But his foray into that world was a guided tour by his new friends.

Personally, I wouldn’t do it because covid has been so difficult for my kid (different one) and being back with friends in the known environment has been healing and it has restored her confidence. I would support heavily before I took that away.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thank you all for your posts. This has given me a lot to consider.