Can a 3.5yo understand going to toy store to browse not buy?

[Anonymous]

If you have hours of work after preschool you need to find additional childcare (aftercare, babysitter) or a school with longer hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Of course! My kids never expected to come out of a store with something, because usually they never got anything. It's all a question of training, OP

So you purposely took them to the toy store to look at what they couldn’t have?! Jesus, that’s cruel.

PP you replied to. I can't relate to people like you. We went to stores. Some of them had toys. We went to look and that was fun enough. Sometimes we bought things for friends. Very rarely, we bought for our kids. They are now 16 and 11 and very normal, un-traumatized kids. They never displayed the least expectation that when they went to a store, something had to come home with them!!! They would point to things that interested them, just to show me. Of course, they would have been overjoyed to get all the things they pointed to, BUT THEY DID NOT EXPECT IT, SO THEY WERE NOT DISAPPOINTED.

Again, I can't relate to people like you. How do you live your life, I wonder.

[Anonymous]

No. Not old enough to understand in a store that sells only toys. It not even wise to take them in Target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Of course! My kids never expected to come out of a store with something, because usually they never got anything. It's all a question of training, OP

So you purposely took them to the toy store to look at what they couldn’t have?! Jesus, that’s cruel.

PP you replied to. I can't relate to people like you. We went to stores. Some of them had toys. We went to look and that was fun enough. Sometimes we bought things for friends. Very rarely, we bought for our kids. They are now 16 and 11 and very normal, un-traumatized kids. They never displayed the least expectation that when they went to a store, something had to come home with them!!! They would point to things that interested them, just to show me. Of course, they would have been overjoyed to get all the things they pointed to, BUT THEY DID NOT EXPECT IT, SO THEY WERE NOT DISAPPOINTED.

Again, I can't relate to people like you. How do you live your life, I wonder.

I feel sorry for your kids. You taught them the good things in life weren’t for them.

Here’s how I live my life: I don’t torture my young daughters by bringing them to a doll store and tell them everyone else there is getting a doll except them. My daughters are in top colleges and both going into medicine. They know they are worthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of mine did. We would talk on our walk towards the door of the store about whether this is a "looking" trip or a "buying" trip. Did they cry sometimes? Sure. Did I hug them and say "It's so hard to just have to look when you want to buy, isn't it?" Sure. And then we'd walk out without having bought.

How cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you avoid taking her to target because she'll want a toy every time? Do you avoid taking her to the grocery store because she'll demand ice cream? Do you alway give in to her requests or do you say no?

While I don't think you should attach rewards to reading, I also think that a 3.5 year old should be able to understand "not today" if you want to look at the dolls. You could have her take photos of the ones she likes for "next time we go"

And if you never say no...it's a good time to start

Those are totally different bc the adult has to go to those stores for errands and kids need to learn to tag along politely on those errands. And I think it’s clear to a young child “we are here for laundry detergent, not toys.” But there is no reason for an adult to go to the American girl store. The only purpose of that trip is to torture the child and try to teach a 3.5 year old some weird lesson she’s not capable of understanding.

My kids didn't have any trouble with “because it’s fun to look” or “to get ideas on what to ask for for your birthday” or “to buy a birthday gift for your cousin” as reasons to go to a toy store. That doesn’t mean they didn’t sometimes whine but not more than at Target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you avoid taking her to target because she'll want a toy every time? Do you avoid taking her to the grocery store because she'll demand ice cream? Do you alway give in to her requests or do you say no?

While I don't think you should attach rewards to reading, I also think that a 3.5 year old should be able to understand "not today" if you want to look at the dolls. You could have her take photos of the ones she likes for "next time we go"

And if you never say no...it's a good time to start

Those are totally different bc the adult has to go to those stores for errands and kids need to learn to tag along politely on those errands. And I think it’s clear to a young child “we are here for laundry detergent, not toys.” But there is no reason for an adult to go to the American girl store. The only purpose of that trip is to torture the child and try to teach a 3.5 year old some weird lesson she’s not capable of understanding.

My kids didn't have any trouble with “because it’s fun to look” or “to get ideas on what to ask for for your birthday” or “to buy a birthday gift for your cousin” as reasons to go to a toy store. That doesn’t mean they didn’t sometimes whine but not more than at Target.

At 3.5?! Life already beat them down I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 3.5 year old is a ticking time bomb. They will melt down if a carrot is too far to the left on their plate. They will keep you up all night complaining of an itchy fingernail. All you can do is pray for each day to pass and not getting arrested or having a shoe thrown at your head.

Going to a toy store to browse? Do you have a death wish, OP?

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you avoid taking her to target because she'll want a toy every time? Do you avoid taking her to the grocery store because she'll demand ice cream? Do you alway give in to her requests or do you say no?

While I don't think you should attach rewards to reading, I also think that a 3.5 year old should be able to understand "not today" if you want to look at the dolls. You could have her take photos of the ones she likes for "next time we go"

And if you never say no...it's a good time to start

+1

Go and say you are just looking.

3.5 olds are old enough to understand.

Absolutely not. It’s mean AF. She begs to go to the toy isle at the grocery store? Sure let her know she can just look. Absolutely. And it’s a good lesson since it’s not what you intended to go there for. Just groceries or toilet paper or whatever.

But you get in the car and drive the child to a TOY STORE then you better go intending to get her a dang toy. Jeez. Y’all are mean.

[Anonymous]

TLDR; to answer OP’s question, when my kid was 7, he had trouble browsing Transformers without buying. And that was at age 7 with total understanding of money and delayed gratification.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you avoid taking her to target because she'll want a toy every time? Do you avoid taking her to the grocery store because she'll demand ice cream? Do you alway give in to her requests or do you say no?

While I don't think you should attach rewards to reading, I also think that a 3.5 year old should be able to understand "not today" if you want to look at the dolls. You could have her take photos of the ones she likes for "next time we go"

And if you never say no...it's a good time to start

+1

Go and say you are just looking.

3.5 olds are old enough to understand.

Absolutely not. It’s mean AF. She begs to go to the toy isle at the grocery store? Sure let her know she can just look. Absolutely. And it’s a good lesson since it’s not what you intended to go there for. Just groceries or toilet paper or whatever.

But you get in the car and drive the child to a TOY STORE then you better go intending to get her a dang toy. Jeez. Y’all are mean.

Wait, your kid got a toy every time they went to a toy store? Even if they were going to buy their cousin a Christmas present? Or a friend a birthday present? Lucky kid I guess. Mine must be ready for therapy for the abuse I put them through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you avoid taking her to target because she'll want a toy every time? Do you avoid taking her to the grocery store because she'll demand ice cream? Do you alway give in to her requests or do you say no?

While I don't think you should attach rewards to reading, I also think that a 3.5 year old should be able to understand "not today" if you want to look at the dolls. You could have her take photos of the ones she likes for "next time we go"

And if you never say no...it's a good time to start

Those are totally different bc the adult has to go to those stores for errands and kids need to learn to tag along politely on those errands. And I think it’s clear to a young child “we are here for laundry detergent, not toys.” But there is no reason for an adult to go to the American girl store. The only purpose of that trip is to torture the child and try to teach a 3.5 year old some weird lesson she’s not capable of understanding.

I respectfully disagree that it's as different as you think. Sometimes we had to go to target to buy a birthday present for another kid and only that, and my kids tagged along with me and they didn't get something.

I do think the whole AG reward for reading is not great, BUT the fear of taking a kid somewhere if you can't or won't buy them what they want when they want it...if you're so afraid, maybe your kid needs practice being let down in life: you're not alway going to get the lollipop you want, you're not always going to be able to wear your favorite dress when you want it; eat off of the tractor plate because it's being washed. I feel like so many parents are afraid of the tantrums they bend over backwards to make kids lives easy and stress free, but really you're teaching your kids to not be able to tolerate when life isn't fair or easy.

That’s still different. If your kid asks why are we at Target, you say “we’re here to buy a present for your friend.” But what is OP’s answer for why they’re at American girl doll? “Well 3 year old, we’re at AG to have you look at things but not buy them because we’re trying to get you to read more books.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of mine did. We would talk on our walk towards the door of the store about whether this is a "looking" trip or a "buying" trip. Did they cry sometimes? Sure. Did I hug them and say "It's so hard to just have to look when you want to buy, isn't it?" Sure. And then we'd walk out without having bought.

“Have to look”?? Why do you have to look? Why are you going to the toy store just to make them cry? If you’re not buying a toy, why not just go to the playground or library or something? Who is having fun on this toy store trip? You?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you avoid taking her to target because she'll want a toy every time? Do you avoid taking her to the grocery store because she'll demand ice cream? Do you alway give in to her requests or do you say no?

While I don't think you should attach rewards to reading, I also think that a 3.5 year old should be able to understand "not today" if you want to look at the dolls. You could have her take photos of the ones she likes for "next time we go"

And if you never say no...it's a good time to start

+1

Go and say you are just looking.

3.5 olds are old enough to understand.

Absolutely not. It’s mean AF. She begs to go to the toy isle at the grocery store? Sure let her know she can just look. Absolutely. And it’s a good lesson since it’s not what you intended to go there for. Just groceries or toilet paper or whatever.

But you get in the car and drive the child to a TOY STORE then you better go intending to get her a dang toy. Jeez. Y’all are mean.

Wait, your kid got a toy every time they went to a toy store? Even if they were going to buy their cousin a Christmas present? Or a friend a birthday present? Lucky kid I guess. Mine must be ready for therapy for the abuse I put them through.

That’s the only reason I’d ever bother taking them to an actual toy store, so yes. I order gifts on Amazon or if I need to go with them we will grab something at Walmart, Target etc.

[Anonymous]

If you go to the store, plan to buy an outfit or something for her doll. Be clear that is all you are buying that day. Make a plan to take pictures of things she wants to put on her BD or Santa list. Put the pictures in an album on your phone she can look at.

But also don’t bribe your child to read at that age. Just read her books. I have never met a preschooler who has to be bribed to be read to - and it is completely inappropriate to bribe her to read independently. If she is an early reader, let her self-motivate before you turn reading into a chore or a party trick for her to show off to adults.