Can a 3.5yo understand going to toy store to browse not buy?

[Anonymous]

My 3.5 DD has become interested in American Girl dolls after I gave her my childhood doll for Christmas. I showed her the doll website and my husband set up a tracker for her to “earn” money by reading books to save up for another doll. She knows there is a doll store and has been asking to go, and I’ve explained many times that we can look at the dolls to see which one you like, but that she needs to read more books to have enough money to buy one. She says “I have coins in my room”- which is true but obviously not enough for a doll.

Is it a good idea to take her to the store to browse dolls to motivate her to read more books? I want her to learn that it’s good to work hard to get something you want, but I am afraid it might be better not to visit the store unless we can leave with a doll.

[Anonymous]

A 3.5 year old is a ticking time bomb. They will melt down if a carrot is too far to the left on their plate. They will keep you up all night complaining of an itchy fingernail. All you can do is pray for each day to pass and not getting arrested or having a shoe thrown at your head.

Going to a toy store to browse? Do you have a death wish, OP?

[Anonymous]

NO! It would be torture for her. Taking a 3.5 to look at things she can’t have is truly a horrible and mean idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NO! It would be torture for her. Taking a 3.5 to look at things she can’t have is truly a horrible and mean idea.

This. You may be setting her up for a major melt down.

[Anonymous]

Op needs to read “Punished by Rewards”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Op needs to read “Punished by Rewards”.

And her husband needs to read it as well. My guess is that he thinks his toddler tracker to earn “money” for reading makes him some child development genius. That is incredibly gross. Kids should just read because they enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

OMG, do not do that!!! That’s a cruel thing to do to a little kid!!!


And why doesn’t she like reading? Are you reading to her? Are you letting her watch too much TV?

Honestly, at 3.5 if your child doesn’t like being read to, you need to readjust your own expectations and way of reading. My oldest child would sit on my lap and read 20 books in a row at 3.5; my second kid would read about five before needing to get up; my youngest at 2.5 can handle maybe two at the most before getting off my lap but I keep reading and she plays and looks back to the book.

[Anonymous]

No. Thinking about doing so is a special form of child and self abuse.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but if your daughter is responding, "I have coins," she doesn't get your incentive plan. It sounds like she understands the general idea of money but not quantity. She's going to melt down, and it seems a little cruel.

Parents tell kids "I can't buy x today" all the time, especially when they don't have money. But you're trying to get your kid to understand something more complicated. I don't think it's a bad idea to keep working with her on the concept of money, just not going to the store.

[Anonymous]

Nope. 3.5 is tooo little.

[Anonymous]

You can probably get away with showing her images on the website. I can look at pictures of chocolate truffles and be fine, not the same story in the shop.

Do think 3.5 is too young for a financial incentive for such an expensive item. It'll warp even more than her 3.5 year ability understanding of the monetary value of items

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, do not do that!!! That’s a cruel thing to do to a little kid!!!


And why doesn’t she like reading? Are you reading to her? Are you letting her watch too much TV?

Honestly, at 3.5 if your child doesn’t like being read to, you need to readjust your own expectations and way of reading. My oldest child would sit on my lap and read 20 books in a row at 3.5; my second kid would read about five before needing to get up; my youngest at 2.5 can handle maybe two at the most before getting off my lap but I keep reading and she plays and looks back to the book.

OP here. Okay, I’m getting the idea that we’re not going to the doll store. She does like to read, but a little less than she used to. She is pretty interested in playing make believe and arranging dolls to sit at the table, etc., so we’re trying to get her back into books. She does watch a good amount of Tv after preschool because I’m still working. Yes, we read to her and she “reads” books to her dolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Op needs to read “Punished by Rewards”.

And her husband needs to read it as well. My guess is that he thinks his toddler tracker to earn “money” for reading makes him some child development genius. That is incredibly gross. Kids should just read because they enjoy it.

Okay, seems like I will have to read this book (I am OP). I was using small rewards for potty training and it did work, but I don’t want it to bleed into other things.

[Anonymous]

Short answer: no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Op needs to read “Punished by Rewards”.

And her husband needs to read it as well. My guess is that he thinks his toddler tracker to earn “money” for reading makes him some child development genius. That is incredibly gross. Kids should just read because they enjoy it.

Okay, seems like I will have to read this book (I am OP). I was using small rewards for potty training and it did work, but I don’t want it to bleed into other things.

Potty training is fine. It’s short-lived.