Can a 3.5yo understand going to toy store to browse not buy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all walked yourself into this one. Do you understand that she had no conception of what "American Doll" was as an enterprise until you taught her? Even after you gave her your old doll. She didn't know it was a whole line of dolls with clothes and accessories and books and a store you can go to see it all and even "experiences" like the American Doll Cafe and crap. But then you were like, "Hello, small child, let me indoctrinate you into the worst aspects of American consumerism!" And now you want to know if she'll want to buy things at the store? What the hell?

You're like the parents I know who talk up Disney to their kids constantly from the time they are very little, show them all the movies, buy them lots of Disney-themed crap, and then complain "Ugh, my kids are demanding we go to Disneyworld again and have no concept of how expensive those trips are or interest in other things."

Be a parent, ffs.

This whole thread is such a great example of that particular subset of overwrought DCUM millennial mommies and this post probably takes the prize. Check your smug, PP, it's going to backlash on you in the end.

I think there's truth in the point expressed by several posters that 3.5 is too young to really get the long-term goal of reading books over a period of weeks to build up enough points to "earn" a doll. I don't think it's harming your kid that you're trying it out, I just think it's not likely to get you anywhere quite yet. But if you want to take her to the store to look around and maybe plan to buy one of the books there for her to read - but not a doll - of course that's fine! And it's fine if you go and look around and don't buy anything. It's not like your intent is to taunt her, like a Harry Potter situation where another kid's getting smothered with toys and yours gets nothing, for Chrissakes. It's perfectly possible for toddlers to go into a store, see all the fun colorful things, and leave with nothing but maybe an addition to their Christmas/birthday list in mind. My toddler's a total drama queen and yet she can handle this at 3.5. What a bunch of nuts a lot of you are.

Don't let 'em get to you, OP. And don't fret about the interest in reading waxing and waning as your daughter grows. It's very normal. As the daughter of two English teachers who is now a librarian married to a college professor, I know plenty of brilliant, wonderful people who never did become big readers, or who like to read only a very particular type of book, etc. Reading is one way to stretch your brain but there are plenty of others (play is great!).

For once, this thread is not a bunch of "overwrought DCUM millennial mommies" at all. It's just common sense.

No, you should not be bribing your child to read at 3.5. If they don't seem interested in reading, get different books, go to the library more often, ask their PK teacher for suggestions, etc. But bribing with money is a bad idea and sets up all kinds of bad dynamics.

And this isn't really about whether OP's DD could handle going in the store and not buying anything. I actually think the girl might surprise her mom! Recently we were on vacation and we took our 4 yr old in a toy store and said she could pick out a toy, and she looked around for a while but ultimately decided there was nothing in particular she wanted. Shrug. Kids are variable.

The objections in this thread are to a super weird dynamic where OP is teaching her kid about American Doll, getting her excited. And separately, the DH is bribing the child to read. And then they are going to marry these two kind of boneheaded parenting approaches, by taking the child to an American Doll store and telling her she can't have anything because she has not yet read enough books.

It's not overwrought to see how this situation is just poor parenting. They are making this so much harder than it needs to be. Let her enjoy the doll she already has, stop bribing her for reading, and don't base a trip to the AG store on whether she has "earned" enough money to buy something -- take her or don't, buy her something or don't, just don't tie the whole thing to a half-baked reward system for doing something that she should be enjoying for its own sake at this stage.

[Anonymous]

So what to are you going to do op?

[Anonymous]

Hahaha OP this gave me such a good laugh! Thank you!
As you've already noted, you cannot take a 3.5yo to the doll store and buy nothing. One compromise is maybe a book? or a doll accessory?