Can a 3.5yo understand going to toy store to browse not buy?

[Anonymous]

No!!

[Anonymous]

Are you laying her to read to herself? Or to listen to you read? Both of these ideas seem crazy to me for a 3yo. Having said that, I do think a 3yo can understand “ we are just looking”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, do not do that!!! That’s a cruel thing to do to a little kid!!!


And why doesn’t she like reading? Are you reading to her? Are you letting her watch too much TV?

Honestly, at 3.5 if your child doesn’t like being read to, you need to readjust your own expectations and way of reading. My oldest child would sit on my lap and read 20 books in a row at 3.5; my second kid would read about five before needing to get up; my youngest at 2.5 can handle maybe two at the most before getting off my lap but I keep reading and she plays and looks back to the book.

OP here. Okay, I’m getting the idea that we’re not going to the doll store. She does like to read, but a little less than she used to. She is pretty interested in playing make believe and arranging dolls to sit at the table, etc., so we’re trying to get her back into books. She does watch a good amount of Tv after preschool because I’m still working. Yes, we read to her and she “reads” books to her dolls.

If she’s home while you’re working, I’d see about maybe finding a “mother’s helper” to come play with her in the afternoons for an hour or two. It’s a good job for something like a middle school girl or even a bit younger, since you’re home. It would help keep her off the screens and engaged in other play. At three it makes zero sense to try to incentivize her to read more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, do not do that!!! That’s a cruel thing to do to a little kid!!!


And why doesn’t she like reading? Are you reading to her? Are you letting her watch too much TV?

Honestly, at 3.5 if your child doesn’t like being read to, you need to readjust your own expectations and way of reading. My oldest child would sit on my lap and read 20 books in a row at 3.5; my second kid would read about five before needing to get up; my youngest at 2.5 can handle maybe two at the most before getting off my lap but I keep reading and she plays and looks back to the book.

OP here. Okay, I’m getting the idea that we’re not going to the doll store. She does like to read, but a little less than she used to. She is pretty interested in playing make believe and arranging dolls to sit at the table, etc., so we’re trying to get her back into books. She does watch a good amount of Tv after preschool because I’m still working. Yes, we read to her and she “reads” books to her dolls.

Of course she likes it less than she used to -- you're teaching her that it's a chore that's only worth doing if she's paid.

And she's 3 -- it's okay if sometimes she's more interested on one thing and other times something else.

[Anonymous]

OP, you say she’s doing imaginative play with her dolls instead of reading. Why do you want to read instead? Playing with dolls is such a good way to explore imagination, creativity, and storytelling. I can draw a direct line from paper dolls to Barbies to American Girl Dolls (around 10 when I was able to save for them — I’m a little 😮 at a 3yo getting them) to writing novels starting around middle school. I never stopped reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but if your daughter is responding, "I have coins," she doesn't get your incentive plan. It sounds like she understands the general idea of money but not quantity. She's going to melt down, and it seems a little cruel.

Parents tell kids "I can't buy x today" all the time, especially when they don't have money. But you're trying to get your kid to understand something more complicated. I don't think it's a bad idea to keep working with her on the concept of money, just not going to the store.

No. You do not purposely bring a very young child to a toy store to come home empty handed. That’s cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3.5 DD has become interested in American Girl dolls after I gave her my childhood doll for Christmas. I showed her the doll website and my husband set up a tracker for her to “earn” money by reading books to save up for another doll. She knows there is a doll store and has been asking to go, and I’ve explained many times that we can look at the dolls to see which one you like, but that she needs to read more books to have enough money to buy one. She says “I have coins in my room”- which is true but obviously not enough for a doll.

Is it a good idea to take her to the store to browse dolls to motivate her to read more books? I want her to learn that it’s good to work hard to get something you want, but I am afraid it might be better not to visit the store unless we can leave with a doll.

They can learn that, but you might have to learn the hard way and weather some tantrums.

Bribing a 3.5 year old to read is horrible though. It's basically telling them "this is a terrible unfun activity. So unfun I need to pay you for it. You shouldn't expect to enjoy books, so you shouldn't put any effort into understanding them, or learning what you like. It's a chore to be gotten through".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, do not do that!!! That’s a cruel thing to do to a little kid!!!


And why doesn’t she like reading? Are you reading to her? Are you letting her watch too much TV?

Honestly, at 3.5 if your child doesn’t like being read to, you need to readjust your own expectations and way of reading. My oldest child would sit on my lap and read 20 books in a row at 3.5; my second kid would read about five before needing to get up; my youngest at 2.5 can handle maybe two at the most before getting off my lap but I keep reading and she plays and looks back to the book.

OP here. Okay, I’m getting the idea that we’re not going to the doll store. She does like to read, but a little less than she used to. She is pretty interested in playing make believe and arranging dolls to sit at the table, etc., so we’re trying to get her back into books. She does watch a good amount of Tv after preschool because I’m still working. Yes, we read to her and she “reads” books to her dolls.

Of course she likes it less than she used to -- you're teaching her that it's a chore that's only worth doing if she's paid.

And she's 3 -- it's okay if sometimes she's more interested on one thing and other times something else.

+1. My very early reader, 3.5, got less into books when he started preschool. He wants to play pretend when he tests home now. And he’s exceptionally bright.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

PP coming back to add.

The AG store is different enough from most stores, that you can present it as "it's a place we go to look for ideas to put on our wishlist". That doesn't mean that strategy will work perfectly, but it might help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3.5 DD has become interested in American Girl dolls after I gave her my childhood doll for Christmas. I showed her the doll website and my husband set up a tracker for her to “earn” money by reading books to save up for another doll. She knows there is a doll store and has been asking to go, and I’ve explained many times that we can look at the dolls to see which one you like, but that she needs to read more books to have enough money to buy one. She says “I have coins in my room”- which is true but obviously not enough for a doll.

Is it a good idea to take her to the store to browse dolls to motivate her to read more books? I want her to learn that it’s good to work hard to get something you want, but I am afraid it might be better not to visit the store unless we can leave with a doll.

np What do you mean by "reading more books?" Are you reading them to her or is she reading them? How many books does she have to read to satisfy you and your husband? I would be careful of not working her too hard and having too high an expectation for a young child. If the bar is too high she might give up. Just curious is she your first or an only?

As far as the store goes I would buy her something even if it isn't a doll. Maybe clothes for the current doll? But, I wouldn't take her to the store and expect her to understand that she may not get a doll. Maybe take her when you are ready to buy her one? that could be a sweet surprise!

[Anonymous]

Y'all walked yourself into this one. Do you understand that she had no conception of what "American Doll" was as an enterprise until you taught her? Even after you gave her your old doll. She didn't know it was a whole line of dolls with clothes and accessories and books and a store you can go to see it all and even "experiences" like the American Doll Cafe and crap. But then you were like, "Hello, small child, let me indoctrinate you into the worst aspects of American consumerism!" And now you want to know if she'll want to buy things at the store? What the hell?

You're like the parents I know who talk up Disney to their kids constantly from the time they are very little, show them all the movies, buy them lots of Disney-themed crap, and then complain "Ugh, my kids are demanding we go to Disneyworld again and have no concept of how expensive those trips are or interest in other things."

Be a parent, ffs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP coming back to add.

The AG store is different enough from most stores, that you can present it as "it's a place we go to look for ideas to put on our wishlist". That doesn't mean that strategy will work perfectly, but it might help.

dp When my kids were little 3 and 6 we went to NY American girl café for a show and lunch. I told them we were not buying anything because the show/lunch was the treat but we could look. They were very well behaved that my MIL bought them a small toy! They were thrilled.

[Anonymous]

None of this makes sense. 3.5 year olds cannot think that far ahead. But the weirder thing to me is, why do you have to bribe her to read???? I have 2 very different children, but they’ve never needed to be bribed to sit down and read a book. And if you’re talking about her reading on her own yet you still feel the need to pressure a 3.5 year old to independently read more books, then you have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP coming back to add.

The AG store is different enough from most stores, that you can present it as "it's a place we go to look for ideas to put on our wishlist". That doesn't mean that strategy will work perfectly, but it might help.

AG stores are NOT different - they are actually worse for a young child because the dolls are all looking for forever homes. American Girl did not become a huge and lifelong success by being a place to browse!!! Catalogs are for wish lists. Not the physical store.

OP, your “plan” is cruel and will backfire in every way. Making reading a chore like picking up toys and seeing and touching something like a doll who wants you is so cruel to a little kid.