Men who try to use their feminism to get you to like them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone actually called him out on it?

I’m very feminist, and I’d probably say “it’s very anti-feminist to discuss your sex life and hurts both your partner and the women you are talking to”. Then just repeat.

He’ll probably balk and make excuses, and I’d say “the feminist thing to do is listen to what women are telling you and re-consider your actions, not to defend your unethical actions”.

And then everyone on the solar-powered monorail applauded, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah a guy proclaiming his feminism is a red flag. And this sounds like that plus an extra dose of just not being socially aware.

Guy sounds like a user. Beware!

[Anonymous]

He's not trying to sleep with you. He's trying to move up the corporate ladder by latching on to whatever social justice theme seems popular in your workplace. Sounds like he lacks the social awareness to fake it till you make it though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys who are actually feminists don't need to brag about it.

Like the Geto Boys told us:

Real gangsta-ass n****s don't flex nuts
'Cause real gangsta-ass n****s know they got 'em.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's not trying to sleep with you. He's trying to move up the corporate ladder by latching on to whatever social justice theme seems popular in your workplace. Sounds like he lacks the social awareness to fake it till you make it though.

Well he has been told masculine is toxic. Maybe he thinks he can get by conforming to the work place culture?

[Anonymous]

Why is this post in Relationships? You'd get more valuable responses in Jobs & Careers.

Unless you're thinking of dating him. Don't. All the performative stuff aside, never poop where you eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's not trying to sleep with you. He's trying to move up the corporate ladder by latching on to whatever social justice theme seems popular in your workplace. Sounds like he lacks the social awareness to fake it till you make it though.

Well he has been told masculine is toxic. Maybe he thinks he can get by conforming to the work place culture?

Everyone likes a masculine man. Like the character Big, from SATC.

But it crosses the line and becomes toxic masculinity when men do something, you know , objectionable. Or offensive. That’s toxic masculinity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Watch this SNL skit called Girl in a Bar it’s hilarious and on point: https://youtu.be/kTMow_7H47Q

That was amazing! So point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They were called SNAGs back in my day. (sensitive new age guy)

Yes!

I remember that term. These betas should be avoided at all costs.

Nothing masculine about these losers.

SNAGs should be avoided as assiduously as people who use the term "beta" to talk about masculinity.

Have to agree.

The problem with SNAGs is that they are liars/putting on to get laid. Masculinity is not the issue- it's just that they don't truly like/respect women- they just think acting like they care will get them laid.

Use of 'beta' term is worse than being a SNAG. Because it means you don't like women OR men. Unless they fit your bizarre rule of how you think people should behave with regard to gender roles.

[Anonymous]

Man here, this is such an interesting discussion.

So if I am on a date, and someone asks me if I am a feminist, what's the answer?

Yes, I am trying to get laid, that's why I am on a date. My world view is fairly moderate, men and women are equal but not the same..hate the labels. For example, would definitely say I believe in the rights of Israel to exist as a Homeland for the Jewish people but I wouldn't call myself a Zionist because that seems to invoke some of the crazies over there.

Labels are tough

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys like this are probably gay.

Nah, he’s trying to sleep with whatever woman might have him.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They were called SNAGs back in my day. (sensitive new age guy)

Yes!

I remember that term. These betas should be avoided at all costs.

Nothing masculine about these losers.

SNAGs should be avoided as assiduously as people who use the term "beta" to talk about masculinity.

Have to agree.

The problem with SNAGs is that they are liars/putting on to get laid. Masculinity is not the issue- it's just that they don't truly like/respect women- they just think acting like they care will get them laid.

Use of 'beta' term is worse than being a SNAG. Because it means you don't like women OR men. Unless they fit your bizarre rule of how you think people should behave with regard to gender roles.

It also exudes insecurity, whether you realize it or not.

[Anonymous]

Ew. This is probably worse than the patriarch man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here, this is such an interesting discussion.

So if I am on a date, and someone asks me if I am a feminist, what's the answer?

Yes, I am trying to get laid, that's why I am on a date. My world view is fairly moderate, men and women are equal but not the same..hate the labels. For example, would definitely say I believe in the rights of Israel to exist as a Homeland for the Jewish people but I wouldn't call myself a Zionist because that seems to invoke some of the crazies over there.

Labels are tough

The only wrong answer to “are you a feminist” is “no”. As a PP pointed out, women’s’ rights are human rights. There are a million ways to agree with that statement but it’s pretty easy when you think of it that way. Ultimately however how you behave answers this question, not what you say. I can tell you which men in my workplace are feminists and we’ve never had one conversation about it. Respect is respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here, this is such an interesting discussion.

So if I am on a date, and someone asks me if I am a feminist, what's the answer?

Yes, I am trying to get laid, that's why I am on a date. My world view is fairly moderate, men and women are equal but not the same..hate the labels. For example, would definitely say I believe in the rights of Israel to exist as a Homeland for the Jewish people but I wouldn't call myself a Zionist because that seems to invoke some of the crazies over there.

Labels are tough

"Are you a feminist?"
"Men and women should have the same rights because they're equal."

Keep it simple. Don't dive into "men and women are different" or "I hate labels." If she presses for more detail after that initial answer, then I guess you can get into the discussion. But if you volunteer the gender differences or hating the term feminist on the first round, it makes it sound like you aren't really all that invested in the idea that men and women should have equal rights.