at what age did you explain physical act of intercourse to your DD?
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Anonymous
| At age 8 when she asked how babies are made. When I was done, she said “Well, I’m never doing that!” |
Anonymous
At age 9, DD met a 10 year old at Girl Scout camp who constantly told everyone she was a lesbian. And our kids have met out married gay male friends many times. So at 11 DD naturally asked about how they “do it.” I simply told her that gay men use the butt. Or the mouth. And that lesbians can buy a fake p*nis made of rubber. Whether gay or straight, she has a mostly general understanding of the act now at 13. It’s enough for now. |
Anonymous
| ^^^ our |
Anonymous
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Five for biology. Ongoing for other things. |
Anonymous
Yup! 
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Anonymous
My parents explained that to me when I was about four. |
Anonymous
My philosophy is if they're old enough to ask a question they're old enough to hear some version of the truth. My daughter some and egg me but she wanted to know how the sperm got from the penis to the vagina so I explained that part to her. She hasn't mentioned it since so I'm guessing that we will probably have to have more conversations about it as she gets older |
Anonymous
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I think a straightforward, matter of fact explanation between 5 and 8 is appropriate, guided by their questions. If the kid hasn’t asked by 8, I’d find an opportunity to talk to them about it. By 8 or so other kids will know about it and you’re risking your child finding out about sex from other kids rather than from you. You don’t want to lose your credibility as a source of unbiased facts about something like sex.
FWIW, I started asking about the mechanics when I was about 6, but my parents pretty much refused to tell me by not directly answering the question “but how does the sperm GET to the egg.” They got me a book that included a lot of pictures of gestation but still didn’t explain the mechanics. I pressed and pressed but then dropped it, sensing that they just weren’t going to answer the question. I learned about the mechanics when I was in health class years later, about 11 years old. It was clear in that moment that all of the other kids in the class had a heads up. My parents might have had a more direct conversation with my older brother, but it never filtered down to me through him. This was 25 years ago. So today, with kids’ access to the internet and a culture that has a much more nuanced and less puritan view about sexuality, I think you need to get ahead of it with pure facts. I also think starting the conversation about mechanics early will give you time to get to other finer points about non heteronormative sex, masturbation, etc. in time for the child to go through puberty. It might reduce a little girl’s shame about their sexual urges/ feelings when they inevitably arise (around 10 years old?) if they have some context/knowledge about it. And perhaps most importantly, you’ll have sent the message that thinking or talking about sex is not taboo and that their body and its functions are expected and accepted. |
Anonymous
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I'm 5 months pregnant and have an almost 4 year old(in January) DD. A few weeks ago I told her she'll be having having a new sister or brother soon and she knows the baby is inside me. She asked about it getting in there and I said something like, "When grownups love each other very much they will hold each other in a special kind of way and that can make a baby. And when you're grown up you'll find someone special to do it with too."
But I just thought she's a bit young to be told much more at this point. |
Anonymous
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Interesting that OP asked about what you'd tell a "DD"...does gender matter when it comes to sex ed?
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Anonymous
| My boy asked something related at 8 and I saw an opening and explained very matter-of-factly. |
Anonymous
Omg. Are you serious?? |
Anonymous
How would you describe it differently? |
Anonymous
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Many years ago, in my DD's ES, "Health Education" was to be taught and I got a letter from the school. I was called by the school to participate in a panel of parents to audition the course content. I am sure that I was chosen mainly because I was a non-White immigrant from a 3rd world country, was a minority religion and from a conservative culture etc. Many people with my demographics had indicated that they did not want their kids to be taught this topic.
I was quite horrified because sex was never taught or talked in my country and we are a pretty modest household. After sitting through the presentation, I realized that if we continue to live here I need to teach my kid about these things otherwise she will learn the mechanics from school but not other emotional, intellectual or social aspects of it. You have to educate yourself and you have to communicate very well with your children so that they don't feel shame and fear if they ask you something regarding sex and relationships. Even if they question you or disagree with you about things (mainly your expectations), you need to present logical reasoning to them so they know it is ok to debate things with you. As a parent, I think this is a very uneasy conversation but once you open this door, your kids will respect you and will become closer to you. |
Anonymous
Same age (6) with my son, read the popular book (it's not the stork? I think) with him. His eyes bulged at that part, but hasn't dug much into it since then. |