at what age did you explain physical act of intercourse to your DD?

[Anonymous]

My son at age 4 assumed you use a screwdriver to get a baby out of the moms belly. I said well the mommy uses her muscles too push too but sure the doctor has tools if they need to. He’s only reference the screwdriver one other time. Lol.
Hasn’t had any questions yet about how the baby got in there but I’m sure he’ll have some good theories to share when it’s time.

[Anonymous]

It never occurred to me to NOT explain it in a matter of fact way at a young age. My kids are 10 and 12 and they've known for years the basics of sex. They've seen animals getting it on too.

We don't go on and on about it and I don't exactly expound the topic but, if it comes up, I'm pretty frank. It's no biggie.

[Anonymous]

My kids knew at age 5 and 7. I read a book with them, which helps with any awkwardness. My older child took it in stride and was just curious about it in the way she was curious about everything. My younger one had a funny reaction, and said "that's gross" and walked away and I figured it wasn't quite time yet. But some time later, they both had questions and I think the most important part was that I just explained everything matter of factly, without embarassment, without all the baggage of shame placed on us. Like how a doctor would explain it. And I think the children really pick up on your vibes, so that was important, and it models it for them.

[Anonymous]

It’s not the Stork is good because it shows a mom and dad, under a blanket, but together. In the same bed. It implies they might be naked underneath of the blanket.

Isn’t that really all a child needs to know about it?

[Anonymous]

Literally just had this conversation at lunch with my 5 and 8 year olds (they already knew that sperm goes from dad's body into mom's and forms a bundle of cells that turn into an embryo that turns into a baby). Today was the first time 8yo asked how the sperm gets from the man to the woman, so we explained that a penis goes into a vagina and deposits the sperm into the woman's body. Also a good opportunity to have another conversation about touching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, not all sex is hetero straight sex, so something to keep in mind as you’re thinking through how to have these conversations.

True but at age 5 I'm not explaining sex as sexuality but rather a biological function to procreate.

At age 9, DD met a 10 year old at Girl Scout camp who constantly told everyone she was a lesbian. And our kids have met out married gay male friends many times. So at 11 DD naturally asked about how they “do it.”

I simply told her that gay men use the butt. Or the mouth. And that lesbians can buy a fake p*nis made of rubber.

Whether gay or straight, she has a mostly general understanding of the act now at 13. It’s enough for now.

Omg. Are you serious??

How would you describe it differently?

NP but I am curious about if you made it clear that same sex couples don't make babies that way, and that here are other ways to have babies than penis-vagina sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, not all sex is hetero straight sex, so something to keep in mind as you’re thinking through how to have these conversations.

True but at age 5 I'm not explaining sex as sexuality but rather a biological function to procreate.

At age 9, DD met a 10 year old at Girl Scout camp who constantly told everyone she was a lesbian. And our kids have met out married gay male friends many times. So at 11 DD naturally asked about how they “do it.”

I simply told her that gay men use the butt. Or the mouth. And that lesbians can buy a fake p*nis made of rubber.

Whether gay or straight, she has a mostly general understanding of the act now at 13. It’s enough for now.

Omg. Are you serious??

How would you describe it differently?

NP but I am curious about if you made it clear that same sex couples don't make babies that way, and that here are other ways to have babies than penis-vagina sex?

Funny you should ask. My explanation above came from her question right before covid hit, at the end of 6th grade (still elementary school then).

Middle school is night and day different when it comes to knowledge of sex, it seems. She is now 13. One of her classmates has transitioned. She tells me that 1/4th of her class identifies as LGTBQI+ in a FFX middle school. Two of the girls in her girlscout troop identify as bi.

We watch, as a family, the sit-com Modern Family; one of the episodes mentions the gay couple’s friends conceiving through a surrogate, and using “the swirl.” Our daughter asked later, and we told her what that meant.

As far as OP’s question of “explain the physical act of intercourse” and how exactly LGTBQI+ people do “intercourse,” our daughter has not asked us again, but I imagine she’s heard plenty of things from classmates to answer her questions in detail.

Since most of her friends were given phones with complete and open internet access, they’ve probably SHOWN my daughter things; if not they probably will. Kids with that access go wild on the net and look at everything, don’t fool yourself. It is all out there and they all look. Sad situation, but it’s the world we created for them.

[Anonymous]

The linked thread has MANY good suggestions - and not just for gay teens/tweens. It even has safe websites:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1021435.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I figured I would do it when she asked (she has three younger siblings) and she just turned 9 and hasn’t asked. She knows about puberty, she knows about the sperm and the egg and embryology, she has just never asked me how the sperm gets to the egg. So I need to find a time to tell her and answer any questions she might have before it becomes titillating!

https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745/ref=zg_bs_3245_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=CGHD8KK0E4WPTPAFWR9K

https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763644846

NP and thanks for these recs. Have an 8 year old boy who has literally never asked about anything related to it. Never where do babies come from, nor even how do babies get in/out when he realizes a woman is pregnant (which he has been exposed to and understands that mammals carry their offspring inside vs birds etc)- he just doesn't seem interested at all to know so we haven't had much in the way of discussion outside of body part names. I need something to get him started and don't know where to begin!

Get him a pet female mouse from a disreputable pet store. It will probably be pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Let her first hear about it on the playground and she will then come to you with any doubts or questions that she has. To hit hit her with it out of the blue is too awkward.