at what age did you explain physical act of intercourse to your DD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. I can't remember specifically but she is 10 and it was years ago. Probably 6?

This should have said she is 9 and it was years ago.

OP, get on it. Seriously. There are kids not much older than her HAVING sex. My friend's daughter is 13 and she has a (also 13 year-old) friend who is having sex!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. I can't remember specifically but she is 10 and it was years ago. Probably 6?

you explained a penis goes into a vagina to make a baby when she was 6???!!!

Np. Probably younger for us. Don’t remember precisely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. I can't remember specifically but she is 10 and it was years ago. Probably 6?

you explained a penis goes into a vagina to make a baby when she was 6???!!!

YES! The book, "It's not the stork" explains it and is recommended for ages 4-8. 6 is not early AT ALL.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't do that. Why not just show her "Debbie Does Dallas" video?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. I can't remember specifically but she is 10 and it was years ago. Probably 6?

you explained a penis goes into a vagina to make a baby when she was 6???!!!

I learned this in kindergarten when my mom was pregnant. I remember thinking it must be like a vacuum hose that extended, and that the two people stood on opposite sides of the room. But I got the concept, roughly.

[Anonymous]

6 for us too. He asked directly and I told him in a matter of fact way. I read somewhere that you should always answer the questions they ask, but not go into more detail than the exact question. Make it easy for them to ask you follow up questions. You don’t want your kids learning this from other kids!

This is a major and normal part of life. It’s only embarrassing if you are embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

Omg 10 is definitely old enough! For goodness sake!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. I can't remember specifically but she is 10 and it was years ago. Probably 6?

you explained a penis goes into a vagina to make a baby when she was 6???!!!

YES! The book, "It's not the stork" explains it and is recommended for ages 4-8. 6 is not early AT ALL.

This. Take them to the zoo, thats what my inlaws did and dh was little and asked a ton of questions. .

[Anonymous]

OP what bad thing do you imagine will happen to her from knowing this? I mean that truthfully, and gently. Maybe pulling on that thread, possibly with a therapist, can help you sort out some of your fears about your daughter’s sexuality before they derail your parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't do that. Why not just show her "Debbie Does Dallas" video?

Someone probably will show her on a phone before she is 11. Which is the problem and the parents should talk to the kid first.

[Anonymous]

In second grade, my DD pulled the classic "I know the sperm fertilizes the egg but howw??" I just told her in one succinct sentence. She said "Really? Ewww!" and we moved on from there.

I came to find out many years later that she was in middle school before she learned that sex was something beyond a procreative act.

It's definitely an awkward conversation but it is a responsibility of parenthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In second grade, my DD pulled the classic "I know the sperm fertilizes the egg but howw??" I just told her in one succinct sentence. She said "Really? Ewww!" and we moved on from there.

I came to find out many years later that she was in middle school before she learned that sex was something beyond a procreative act.

It's definitely an awkward conversation but it is a responsibility of parenthood.

Thank you. I see it going this way with my daughter. Can you tell me the exact words you used (the "one succinct sentence")...thank you!
-OP

[Anonymous]

3 or 4. I have four kids and one of them , after hearing this, hugged me and was like I can’t believe you had to do this gross thing FOUR TIMES! I just nodded solemnly, but inside was screaming with laughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess my biggest worry is her visualizing her dad and I having intercourse. It feels embarrassing to me but will she be embarrassed, I don't know. Maybe I'm not giving her enough credit. Is that stupid?
-OP

Okay, OP. So you are actually embarrassed yourself, not worried about whether your daughter is ready. She is, you know that. So now you have to get over the fact that sex is sort of inherently embarrassing. Its undignified and intimate and weird and private.

And still, you need to tell your daughter all about it. Being embarrassed isn't the worst thing in the world. So what if she's embarrassed? So what if you are? Do it anyway. You don't avoid shots because they hurt, or school because its boring, or public speaking because its scary (okay, maybe some of us do that). Talking about sex is really, really important.

And please, OP, I know this part is even more embarrassing, but do make sure she knows that people have sex because it feels good. Very soon she's going to need to know about masturbation, which she'll feel ashamed about if she thinks she shouldn't enjoy it. And while I assume you've been talking about consent and body autonomy it gets harder to talk about if girls don't understand that it isn't just that they must consent to being touched, but that they should enjoy the touch/act and if they don't enjoy it they shouldn't do it! For right now you just need to lay the groundwork - people do have sex for procreation, but mostly people have sex to be close to each other in romantic relationships and because it feels really nice.

I'm a health educator who focuses on reproductive health, if that matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In second grade, my DD pulled the classic "I know the sperm fertilizes the egg but howw??" I just told her in one succinct sentence. She said "Really? Ewww!" and we moved on from there.

I came to find out many years later that she was in middle school before she learned that sex was something beyond a procreative act.

It's definitely an awkward conversation but it is a responsibility of parenthood.

Thank you. I see it going this way with my daughter. Can you tell me the exact words you used (the "one succinct sentence")...thank you!
-OP

Just say “the penis goes in the vagina, sperm leaves the penis and goes up in the vagina until it meets the egg and fertilizes it.”