at what age did you explain physical act of intercourse to your DD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. I can't remember specifically but she is 10 and it was years ago. Probably 6?

you explained a penis goes into a vagina to make a baby when she was 6???!!!

Found the person who's gonna be a granny by 45.

[Anonymous]

The people arguing that kids are having sex or watching porn by middle school so you should tell your 5 year old everything anyway, are kind of missing the entire point in my mind.

I don't want my middle schooler having sex or watching porn. That to me should not be normal. I understand that explaining biology doesn't lead to promiscuity, and I also understand the grave need to explain body parts to prevent abuse. But, your young kids do not need to know about P going in to V and they certainly don't need to know that it's pleasurable.

Tell your kids when they ask you, and answer their actual questions. My 6 year old has never asked. When he does I'll answer his questions. If he doesn't ask until he's 10, that's OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people arguing that kids are having sex or watching porn by middle school so you should tell your 5 year old everything anyway, are kind of missing the entire point in my mind.

I don't want my middle schooler having sex or watching porn. That to me should not be normal. I understand that explaining biology doesn't lead to promiscuity, and I also understand the grave need to explain body parts to prevent abuse. But, your young kids do not need to know about P going in to V and they certainly don't need to know that it's pleasurable.

Tell your kids when they ask you, and answer their actual questions. My 6 year old has never asked. When he does I'll answer his questions. If he doesn't ask until he's 10, that's OK.

I do think kids need to learn when they’re young enough that the idea of penises going into vaginas is gross and not intriguing. But seriously, one sentence does it.

[Anonymous]

4 we don't cover the details of outercourse, or anything outside of p in v to make babies. It's not the stork.

[Anonymous]

I can’t recall. But the class by the Unitarians was helpful and covered sex and drugs. Books appropriate for the age also helped. Kiddo is shy about it and I have to tread carefully with my shy and anxious child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. I can't remember specifically but she is 10 and it was years ago. Probably 6?

you explained a penis goes into a vagina to make a baby when she was 6???!!!

You didn't? Why not? Why would you withhold that biological fact.

[Anonymous]

"going in" is just one aspect... how are you going to explain daddy's body part gets big and hard? and mommy makes funny noise?

[Anonymous]

I told our 10yo when she was in first grade. We bought It’s Not the Stork, but she wanted a more in depth explanation and so I gave it to her. She was fine with it. She’s now in 5th grade and boys make crude hand gestures and inadvertently talk about penetration (or so DD tells me) so I’m glad she had a heads up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"going in" is just one aspect... how are you going to explain daddy's body part gets big and hard? and mommy makes funny noise?

No one is arguing for extreme detail. But the mechanics of sex are simple biology and should not be depicted as gross or shameful.

[Anonymous]

I told my kid at 9, when he asked. He took it on stride.
I remember finding out in second grade & being disgusted & knowing that MY parents must have had kids a different way because they’d never do THAT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people arguing that kids are having sex or watching porn by middle school so you should tell your 5 year old everything anyway, are kind of missing the entire point in my mind.

I don't want my middle schooler having sex or watching porn. That to me should not be normal. I understand that explaining biology doesn't lead to promiscuity, and I also understand the grave need to explain body parts to prevent abuse. But, your young kids do not need to know about P going in to V and they certainly don't need to know that it's pleasurable.

Tell your kids when they ask you, and answer their actual questions. My 6 year old has never asked. When he does I'll answer his questions. If he doesn't ask until he's 10, that's OK.

They absolutely should know that finding pleasure in their sexual body parts is normal, so when they feel like masturbating they don’t think they are freaks! You can explain that sex feels good and also explain that children have no business having sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess my biggest worry is her visualizing her dad and I having intercourse. It feels embarrassing to me but will she be embarrassed, I don't know. Maybe I'm not giving her enough credit. Is that stupid?
-OP

This embarrasses every kid. It’s a normal part of growing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people arguing that kids are having sex or watching porn by middle school so you should tell your 5 year old everything anyway, are kind of missing the entire point in my mind.

I don't want my middle schooler having sex or watching porn. That to me should not be normal. I understand that explaining biology doesn't lead to promiscuity, and I also understand the grave need to explain body parts to prevent abuse. But, your young kids do not need to know about P going in to V and they certainly don't need to know that it's pleasurable.

Tell your kids when they ask you, and answer their actual questions. My 6 year old has never asked. When he does I'll answer his questions. If he doesn't ask until he's 10, that's OK.

They absolutely should know that finding pleasure in their sexual body parts is normal, so when they feel like masturbating they don’t think they are freaks! You can explain that sex feels good and also explain that children have no business having sex.

I agree. Late one night (early one morning) this summer, I went to turn on a fan in DS room and caught him with his hands down his pants. I ignored it but wondered what to do. Serendipitously the very next morning, a podcast I was listening to mentioned masturbating and DH asked me what that meant (I am sure he had an idea.) I explained it and I’m telling you, he looked so relieved. I wish we would have just organically discussed it at an earlier time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"going in" is just one aspect... how are you going to explain daddy's body part gets big and hard? and mommy makes funny noise?

No one is arguing for extreme detail. But the mechanics of sex are simple biology and should not be depicted as gross or shameful.

Exactly this. Let's spare the young generation the shame that we grew up with. It's not necessary. Knowledge is power. Biological fact and body parts are not shameful and we should stop projecting that on them Knowing what how babies are made is not hurting their innocence. I will 100% protect my kids from what's out there, but these are two completely different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people arguing that kids are having sex or watching porn by middle school so you should tell your 5 year old everything anyway, are kind of missing the entire point in my mind.

I don't want my middle schooler having sex or watching porn. That to me should not be normal. I understand that explaining biology doesn't lead to promiscuity, and I also understand the grave need to explain body parts to prevent abuse. But, your young kids do not need to know about P going in to V and they certainly don't need to know that it's pleasurable.

Tell your kids when they ask you, and answer their actual questions. My 6 year old has never asked. When he does I'll answer his questions. If he doesn't ask until he's 10, that's OK.

I do think kids need to learn when they’re young enough that the idea of penises going into vaginas is gross and not intriguing. But seriously, one sentence does it.

Yeah, but sometimes they are so unfazed that they don't really remember it later on, and then you have to retell them again when they do find it embarrassing.