Incident with kids/Seperation

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do. Don't start bringing the kids into your fights and using them as pawns.

Both of you. Stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d feel guilty as $hit if I lazily left my 6 and 8 yo in a parked car in a busy lot while I waited five minutes for a pizza out of sight.

I’d really feel like $hit if they wandered out of the car lost and scared.

And I’d really feel like $hit if I had to call a locksmith because I left the keys in the ignition with my two kids in the car while I walked away for five minutes.

Courts will eat this up, especially if there is a pattern of poor judgment, lazy parenting, and mishaps. OPs ex just won extensive parenting classes at a minimum.

Seriously? Drag him to court costing thousands of $, force him into counseling (probably both of them will get assigned it since she showed up at the ‘scene’ which everyone will know is ridiculous)…then he will likely retaliate by refusing to accommodate her holiday plans etc etc?? This is a dumb plan which mostly hurts the kids and gains op Nothing. Start putting your kids first, op, and swallow your ego and anger at your ex.

[Anonymous]

Did this happen in Mississippi or something? Some small town place were kids just roam around alone or get left in car lots?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d feel guilty as $hit if I lazily left my 6 and 8 yo in a parked car in a busy lot while I waited five minutes for a pizza out of sight.

I’d really feel like $hit if they wandered out of the car lost and scared.

And I’d really feel like $hit if I had to call a locksmith because I left the keys in the ignition with my two kids in the car while I walked away for five minutes.

Courts will eat this up, especially if there is a pattern of poor judgment, lazy parenting, and mishaps. OPs ex just won extensive parenting classes at a minimum.

Seriously? Drag him to court costing thousands of $, force him into counseling (probably both of them will get assigned it since she showed up at the ‘scene’ which everyone will know is ridiculous)…then he will likely retaliate by refusing to accommodate her holiday plans etc etc?? This is a dumb plan which mostly hurts the kids and gains op Nothing. Start putting your kids first, op, and swallow your ego and anger at your ex.

Exactly! Woman needs to fall in line and comply.

[Anonymous]

Aren’t they already in mediation or court for their separation?

Frankly I’d hire a PI during his custody time if There are these kinds of health and safety issues going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks your kids are partially to blame here? 9 years old is old enough to stay in the car if your parent asks you to stay in the car.

It's not like he turned the car off and left them in a hot car.

I always blame or partially blame my kids for accidents I could have prevented.

Mom showing disrespect constantly to dad and grandma could be why child doesn't follow dad's instructions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did the kids get out of the car?

Do you have kids?!?!?

Are you really asking why little kids would get out of a car in a parking lot when left alone there!?!? And even told or yelled at to stay there?!?

I have kids.

And when I was a kid I was frequently left in the car when my mother went shopping. I can remember being left in the car when I was 5 and my sister was 4. I was instructed to keep the doors locked. This was in the 1960s, when it was a safer country, but it was a common practice. My friends were also left in their parent's cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did the kids get out of the car?

Do you have kids?!?!?

Are you really asking why little kids would get out of a car in a parking lot when left alone there!?!? And even told or yelled at to stay there?!?

I have kids.

And when I was a kid I was frequently left in the car when my mother went shopping. I can remember being left in the car when I was 5 and my sister was 4. I was instructed to keep the doors locked. This was in the 1960s, when it was a safer country, but it was a common practice. My friends were also left in their parent's cars.

It’s a safer country now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks your kids are partially to blame here? 9 years old is old enough to stay in the car if your parent asks you to stay in the car.

It's not like he turned the car off and left them in a hot car.

I always blame or partially blame my kids for accidents I could have prevented.

Mom showing disrespect constantly to dad and grandma could be why child doesn't follow dad's instructions.

I always blame my wife for my lack of parenting, disciplining and ability to connect with my own kids.

[Anonymous]

Especially when she’s not even in the room or vicinity!

Kids know right from wrong.
Kids know who cares.
Kids know abuse.
Kids know neglect.

Only a selfish narc would gaslight his own kids to think leaving them alone in a car park is so cool and their fault. Poor kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks your kids are partially to blame here? 9 years old is old enough to stay in the car if your parent asks you to stay in the car.

It's not like he turned the car off and left them in a hot car.

I always blame or partially blame my kids for accidents I could have prevented.

Mom showing disrespect constantly to dad and grandma could be why child doesn't follow dad's instructions.

Or, dad and grandma combined having no common sense—again, you’d fire your nanny for doing this— is why mom isn’t particularly impressed by their judgment...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did the kids get out of the car?

Do you have kids?!?!?

Are you really asking why little kids would get out of a car in a parking lot when left alone there!?!? And even told or yelled at to stay there?!?

I have kids.

And when I was a kid I was frequently left in the car when my mother went shopping. I can remember being left in the car when I was 5 and my sister was 4. I was instructed to keep the doors locked. This was in the 1960s, when it was a safer country, but it was a common practice. My friends were also left in their parent's cars.

I grew up in the 80s and absolutely stayed in the car during errands after I was school-aged. I don't really see the issue here either, unless there's something else going on with these kids that would make it clearly unsafe. Accidents happen.

Now, I'd never do this with my kids, but they both have special needs and are serious elopement risks.

[Anonymous]

OP it is hard when the other parent does not live up to your parenting standard. It can very much feel like an emergency. You will quickly learn that there is really nothing that can be done but to make your own documentation of the incident to possibly show a pattern one day in court.

Showing up to the scene when your kids are safe and causing a ruckus is NOT the right thing to do. I know it’s hard but you cannot do that. Fighting in front of the kids is wayyyyy worse than the car incident and now YOU are the one who started a fight in front of the kids.

[Anonymous]

On the contrary, now there are many witnesses to the H and his mothers poor judgment with the children and public verbal abuse of OP: pizza place, insurance/locksmith, kids, phone records and OP. And the police and CPS which should be called.

It’s easy for some people who have never been with a marginal “parent” or “spouse” to say accidents happen. But they are dealing with this 24/7/365 and seeing this happen All. The. Time.

So document this and have as many third parties document all his poor judgment.

Of course, if he’s an excellent and caring coparent, teacher and coach to his children and you are divorcing for entirely different reasons and these poor judgment “accidents” rarely happen, disregard.

But safety is not an accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks your kids are partially to blame here? 9 years old is old enough to stay in the car if your parent asks you to stay in the car.

It's not like he turned the car off and left them in a hot car.

I always blame or partially blame my kids for accidents I could have prevented.

Mom showing disrespect constantly to dad and grandma could be why child doesn't follow dad's instructions.

Or, dad and grandma combined having no common sense—again, you’d fire your nanny for doing this— is why mom isn’t particularly impressed by their judgment...

I'd fire a wife who needs a nanny. Which is what OP's husband is doing.