Incident with kids/Seperation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a bad marriage trying to do a seperation. Any advice tips where I should go/reach out to please let me know. Living in DC.

an incident happened: the kids and dog were left in the car with the keys in the ignition while Dad (and his mother) went inside a pizza store. The kids both under the age of 9 got out the car and closed the door so the dog was locked inside. We have no spare key so insurance company came and opended the door.

I went to the 'scene" to make sure the kids were OK and my husband started yelling at me very loudly and aggressively. He still thinks he did nothing wrong.

I just need advice, should I go to a police station to document this incident.

He still lives in the home.

You were 100% in the wrong to go the scene. WTAF. A judge would slap you up one side and down the other for doing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call cps now or have the police do so.

Document this and talk with them in this and everything/all concerns and incidents like this.

Also if you don’t others can call cps on you. And court will ask you too why you didn’t.

Your hands are tied. Call CPS.

CPS would laugh their asses off a this. They deal with actual abuse and neglect cases. This doesn't rate. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Document what? That a husband yelled at his wife out of stress because their 9 year old kid was stupid and disobedient enough to get their dog locked in a car?

+1.

Any lawyer would tell op she messed up by going to the scene.

I'm curious how she even knew this was happening in real time? Are the kids old enough to have a phone but can't be trusted to remain in a car for a couple of minutes?

There's nothing to "document." If this got to court and the judge learned that OP encroached on the dad's custody time like this, she'd be read the riot act and possibly be held in contempt. And, I'm to understand he's the one in the marital home with them? What does that say about OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, your reaction to this makes you seem unreasonable, and is not going to somehow magically win you custody. What your dh did wasn’t really a big deal. You should not have shown up to make sure the kids were ok (why wouldn’t they be?) You are only making things worse for your kids by overreacting to things like this.

+1. What he did was not illegal or any type of child endangerment. You sound unhinged and your kid sounds like a brat. Teach your kid to follow parent orders.
Keep in mind if you go to the police or call CPS, it also documents your level of crazy and pettiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, your reaction to this makes you seem unreasonable, and is not going to somehow magically win you custody. What your dh did wasn’t really a big deal. You should not have shown up to make sure the kids were ok (why wouldn’t they be?) You are only making things worse for your kids by overreacting to things like this.

I’m a helicopter parent who never left my kids in the car alone when they were that young, and even I agree with this. This incident, alone, will not impact custody at all. Document it if you want, because it might be significant if it’s part of a pattern, but in isolation, it’s insignificant. If you talk to your kids about it, do not disparage your spouse. It’s fine to tell the kids that they can ask to go inside a store or restaurant with dad if they’re uncomfortable being left in the car, but they’re staying in the car, they need to do as they’re told.

[Anonymous]

Is this a pattern OP? I think as a one-off, while it was negligent of him and could have ended badly, it's not going to help you much. It was a lapse in judgment, no one got hurt, yelling at you can be explained away. But as part of a pattern, it could be relevant - I would document it for sure.

[Anonymous]

If I was the judge, this incident would count against the mother in a trial for custody.

[Anonymous]

Whoa, poor kid could have been abducted in or out of the car or hit by a car whilst wandering the lot.

Good think insurance was called and was a third party witness along with the pizza place.

Sorry your distressed kid called you like that. Or did he or insurance call you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, your reaction to this makes you seem unreasonable, and is not going to somehow magically win you custody. What your dh did wasn’t really a big deal. You should not have shown up to make sure the kids were ok (why wouldn’t they be?) You are only making things worse for your kids by overreacting to things like this.

I’m a helicopter parent who never left my kids in the car alone when they were that young, and even I agree with this. This incident, alone, will not impact custody at all. Document it if you want, because it might be significant if it’s part of a pattern, but in isolation, it’s insignificant. If you talk to your kids about it, do not disparage your spouse. It’s fine to tell the kids that they can ask to go inside a store or restaurant with dad if they’re uncomfortable being left in the car, but they’re staying in the car, they need to do as they’re told.

Many kids under age 12 are uncomfortable being ordered to sit in a car alone. That’s why it’s illegal. Anyone could have called the police on the kids sitting in the car alone.

[Anonymous]

Definitely if Maryland! Those old grannies call right away…

[Anonymous]

You should have had him arrested. Him and his mother!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call cps now or have the police do so.

Document this and talk with them in this and everything/all concerns and incidents like this.

Also if you don’t others can call cps on you. And court will ask you too why you didn’t.

Your hands are tied. Call CPS.

There is merit to this. He will say in court you never called so it’s equally your bad parenting as well. Or you don’t care. So if /when you bring it up, that will be his attorney’s response. No authorities were called, same bad parenting.

Same for if he injures a child. Or injures a child or child is sick and he doesn’t take them in to the doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What was your purpose in going there other than to make drama? I agree, husband did nothing wrong and why would your kids do that? A nine year old is old enough to stay in the car for 5 minutes and old enough to know better.

If you had a lying, negligent, bullying abusive father or spouse you’d know very well why the healthy parent showed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call cps now or have the police do so.

Document this and talk with them in this and everything/all concerns and incidents like this.

Also if you don’t others can call cps on you. And court will ask you too why you didn’t.

Your hands are tied. Call CPS.

Call CPS because someone left an 8 yr old in a car to pick up pizza? THat's insane. They have real incidents to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was your purpose in going there other than to make drama? I agree, husband did nothing wrong and why would your kids do that? A nine year old is old enough to stay in the car for 5 minutes and old enough to know better.

If you had a lying, negligent, bullying abusive father or spouse you’d know very well why the healthy parent showed up.

The reverse can also be true. We don't know either way.