Incident with kids/Seperation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was your purpose in going there other than to make drama? I agree, husband did nothing wrong and why would your kids do that? A nine year old is old enough to stay in the car for 5 minutes and old enough to know better.

If you had a lying, negligent, bullying abusive father or spouse you’d know very well why the healthy parent showed up.

Based on the description provided by OP, she seems to be the unstable one.

Who said the father was a liar, negligent, a bully or abusive? I mean, I'm sure she thinks he's a bad guy, but she's hardly a reliable reporter and sounds like a kook to boot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, your reaction to this makes you seem unreasonable, and is not going to somehow magically win you custody. What your dh did wasn’t really a big deal. You should not have shown up to make sure the kids were ok (why wouldn’t they be?) You are only making things worse for your kids by overreacting to things like this.

I’m a helicopter parent who never left my kids in the car alone when they were that young, and even I agree with this. This incident, alone, will not impact custody at all. Document it if you want, because it might be significant if it’s part of a pattern, but in isolation, it’s insignificant. If you talk to your kids about it, do not disparage your spouse. It’s fine to tell the kids that they can ask to go inside a store or restaurant with dad if they’re uncomfortable being left in the car, but they’re staying in the car, they need to do as they’re told.

Many kids under age 12 are uncomfortable being ordered to sit in a car alone. That’s why it’s illegal. Anyone could have called the police on the kids sitting in the car alone.

Actually, OP said the child is 9, which is old enough to be unattended per the law.

[Anonymous]

How old is your car that you can still lock it when the key is inside? I feel like I haven’t been able to do that in a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, your reaction to this makes you seem unreasonable, and is not going to somehow magically win you custody. What your dh did wasn’t really a big deal. You should not have shown up to make sure the kids were ok (why wouldn’t they be?) You are only making things worse for your kids by overreacting to things like this.

I’m a helicopter parent who never left my kids in the car alone when they were that young, and even I agree with this. This incident, alone, will not impact custody at all. Document it if you want, because it might be significant if it’s part of a pattern, but in isolation, it’s insignificant. If you talk to your kids about it, do not disparage your spouse. It’s fine to tell the kids that they can ask to go inside a store or restaurant with dad if they’re uncomfortable being left in the car, but they’re staying in the car, they need to do as they’re told.

Many kids under age 12 are uncomfortable being ordered to sit in a car alone. That’s why it’s illegal. Anyone could have called the police on the kids sitting in the car alone.

It’s not illegal in many places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, your reaction to this makes you seem unreasonable, and is not going to somehow magically win you custody. What your dh did wasn’t really a big deal. You should not have shown up to make sure the kids were ok (why wouldn’t they be?) You are only making things worse for your kids by overreacting to things like this.

I’m a helicopter parent who never left my kids in the car alone when they were that young, and even I agree with this. This incident, alone, will not impact custody at all. Document it if you want, because it might be significant if it’s part of a pattern, but in isolation, it’s insignificant. If you talk to your kids about it, do not disparage your spouse. It’s fine to tell the kids that they can ask to go inside a store or restaurant with dad if they’re uncomfortable being left in the car, but they’re staying in the car, they need to do as they’re told.

Many kids under age 12 are uncomfortable being ordered to sit in a car alone. That’s why it’s illegal. Anyone could have called the police on the kids sitting in the car alone.

Actually, OP said the child is 9, which is old enough to be unattended per the law.

Yeah, I don't know where pp gets the idea that it's illegal to leave an 11 yo in the car alone. I'd like the citation for that, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, your reaction to this makes you seem unreasonable, and is not going to somehow magically win you custody. What your dh did wasn’t really a big deal. You should not have shown up to make sure the kids were ok (why wouldn’t they be?) You are only making things worse for your kids by overreacting to things like this.

I’m a helicopter parent who never left my kids in the car alone when they were that young, and even I agree with this. This incident, alone, will not impact custody at all. Document it if you want, because it might be significant if it’s part of a pattern, but in isolation, it’s insignificant. If you talk to your kids about it, do not disparage your spouse. It’s fine to tell the kids that they can ask to go inside a store or restaurant with dad if they’re uncomfortable being left in the car, but they’re staying in the car, they need to do as they’re told.

Many kids under age 12 are uncomfortable being ordered to sit in a car alone. That’s why it’s illegal. Anyone could have called the police on the kids sitting in the car alone.

Actually, OP said the child is 9, which is old enough to be unattended per the law.

She said both kids are under 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, your reaction to this makes you seem unreasonable, and is not going to somehow magically win you custody. What your dh did wasn’t really a big deal. You should not have shown up to make sure the kids were ok (why wouldn’t they be?) You are only making things worse for your kids by overreacting to things like this.

I’m a helicopter parent who never left my kids in the car alone when they were that young, and even I agree with this. This incident, alone, will not impact custody at all. Document it if you want, because it might be significant if it’s part of a pattern, but in isolation, it’s insignificant. If you talk to your kids about it, do not disparage your spouse. It’s fine to tell the kids that they can ask to go inside a store or restaurant with dad if they’re uncomfortable being left in the car, but they’re staying in the car, they need to do as they’re told.

Many kids under age 12 are uncomfortable being ordered to sit in a car alone. That’s why it’s illegal. Anyone could have called the police on the kids sitting in the car alone.

It’s not illegal to leave someone under 12 in a car alone!
It sounds like the kid was 8 or 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was your purpose in going there other than to make drama? I agree, husband did nothing wrong and why would your kids do that? A nine year old is old enough to stay in the car for 5 minutes and old enough to know better.

If you had a lying, negligent, bullying abusive father or spouse you’d know very well why the healthy parent showed up.

Based on the description provided by OP, she seems to be the unstable one.

Who said the father was a liar, negligent, a bully or abusive? I mean, I'm sure she thinks he's a bad guy, but she's hardly a reliable reporter and sounds like a kook to boot.

Agree.

Sorry you are divorcing, OP. But it sounds like your uncontrolled anxieties probably were major contributing factors in your failure to stay married. For your kids sake, I hope you are already talking to someone (and I don’t mean your divorce lawyer).

[Anonymous]

Guys just google “illegal to leave what age kid alone in a car?”

Then look up Wash DC.

[Anonymous]

Obviously your DH is an abuser from the yelling. Document any aggression and get the divorce rolling. Talk to your lawyer about this incident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was your purpose in going there other than to make drama? I agree, husband did nothing wrong and why would your kids do that? A nine year old is old enough to stay in the car for 5 minutes and old enough to know better.

If you had a lying, negligent, bullying abusive father or spouse you’d know very well why the healthy parent showed up.

The reverse can also be true. We don't know either way.

Who called OP that idiot dad left the kids in the car, they left it and it locked the keys inside?

How does all that even happen?

I bet the insurance company has to file at least an internal report if they were even told the truth.

[Anonymous]

For fun we always ask: If a nanny did this would she be fired?

If a nanny did something like this once a month, would she be fired?

At some point, sadly, it’s only a matter of time…

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who thinks your kids are partially to blame here? 9 years old is old enough to stay in the car if your parent asks you to stay in the car.

It's not like he turned the car off and left them in a hot car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys just google “illegal to leave what age kid alone in a car?”

Then look up Wash DC.

Care to share what you found? I found no laws about leaving kids unattended in cars in DC. Only “recommendations”.

[Anonymous]

NP. also want to know who called Op and if it was a child via their watch or phone?