Would you rather be a SAHM?
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Anonymous
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I would like working a lot more if:
1) I didn’t have to arrange childcare and stress out about it. 2) We really needed my income. 3) It changed how much work I needed to do around the house. DH was a SAHD for a couple of years, and I really enjoyed my work then. But, for the last few years, he has been back to working 60+ hours/wk with unpredictable hours, and I am about ready to quit. |
Anonymous
| I’ve done both and I found a happy middle ground. But I am so proud of my three adult children and what they have accomplished and I know I played a big role in their development especially in their tween and teen years when it is so easy for kids to get off a good path. If I had stayed in my FT corporate career with all the travel I could not have been there. My husband was very successful and a great dad but SAH was not a good idea for him as he would have gone nuts. But he is now an amazing grandfather! |
Anonymous
God no! What a waste of a life. |
Anonymous
| When my kids were small, yes, I really wished that I could be sahm. But that was not an option. Now that kids are in school, I wish I could work 20-30 hours, but it’s still not an option for me. |
Anonymous
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I SAH and like it. I would say compared to my working mom, I lavished attention on my kid when he was an infant and young toddler (talked to him all day, took Music class, baby yoga class, went to the library or playground daily). Around 3 I pulled back a bit. Of course I still read to him and go on outings, but my day is structured around things I need to do (chores and other tasks), things I want to do for myself (piano, language learning) and things I want to do with/for my child. I don’t have a problem asking him to play by himself so I can practice piano or run on the treadmill. He also goes to nursery school so he can socialize with other kids and hang out with other trusted adults. He’s an only child and we have no grandparents or cousins nearby, so I feel like he needs that connection at school.
I’m happy with my life as is and it feels balanced. I did just buy a new computer so I may get back into doing remote work a few hours a week. But I wouldn’t call it a career by any stretch. I used to teach at the high school level and don’t really miss it. |
Anonymous
| I am a SAHM. It’s ok. I was never the big career type. I’m smart enough, but I’m just not particularly “driven” I guess. |
Anonymous
| I’d rather work although I wish I got 6-12 months of maternity leave. Luckily I have a job I can do from home full-time if I wanted (prefer 2 days in the office) that really only requires 20 hours of real work. My husband also has a flexible job (fed) so we don’t have to deal with stressful jobs. I like the independence of working and earning money. I’m not much of a homemaker and get bored with it quickly. |
Anonymous
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God no. My nanny’s job is way harder than mine!
I also like my job and find meaning in it. But above all, I like living in a world where I look forward to time with my kids, and enjoy it. If it was my job 24/7, it would quickly become unenjoyable and just feel like drudgery sometimes. And my job is 9-5, lots of flexibility, as is my husband’s. So that really helps!! On the flip side of the coin, if finances weren’t a concern, I’d love a stay at home spouse. But my husband isn’t interested in staying home either. |
Anonymous
| In my experience the bulk of women would like to be able to have something part time (20 Hours) that is meaningful and challenging but would also allow them to be a more present parent and have more balance in their lives. Our all of nothing society isn't good for families. |
Anonymous
this. exactly. im in a really demanding job. so is DH. we are taking steps this year for me to transition to SAH for DS, who is almost 4. I'd like to find a middle ground, something i could do when he's at school, but still be there for drop offs and pick up and to keep the house hold running. DH's job is really busy, normally involves a lot of travel. pandemic really changed me, made me more open to SAH life. |
Anonymous
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I would now that my kids are high school aged. Life is far busier now. The kids have endless games and activities and it's hard not to be around to attend these.
When they were young I had no desire to be home. It's much different now that they're older. |
Anonymous
Do you consider any person who cares for children professionally "wasting their life"? If so you have a pretty dim view of children and their importance. |
Anonymous
I feel totally opposite. I’m a big introvert, and I loved rocking my babies and going to the library and on nature hikes and reading them stories. Now that they are older, I don’t mind going to their games, but I don’t really feel sad about missing them. I definitely prefer hanging out with them at home, and if I had to choose between working during a volleyball game or working during a Sunday afternoon that they were hanging around the house, I would definitely miss the game. Are your kids really big athletes? Do they really like having you there, or is it more that you are an extroverted family, and you like hanging out with the other parents while they hang out with the other teens? Or does it feel like a better experience when you go (like watching a movie with someone else vs watching alone)? |
Anonymous
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Who is starting all these threads:
I hate SAHM/I wish I was a SAHM/I want to marry rich/I hate my low income husband/women who marry rich are evil, etc, etc It sounds suspiciously like the same angry person or troll over and over. No woman I know in real life is so obsessed about this?? Sahm and woh moms hang out together. Husbands are teachers and lawyers and bbq together. Not such a big deal, doesn’t make or break our lives. Maybe I just live too far from NWDC?? |
Anonymous
| No, if I wanted to be a SAHM I would have made it work. I like my job and I love my kids and my life. |