Would you rather be a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Ugh yes, I’m in my third trimester with #2 and really do not want to be on my computer right now. Just want to lay down all day!!

But everyone (including probably DH) would ask WTF I’m doing wasting my degrees when I have an excellent nanny and local parents who help a lot. So I stay

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM, and I really enjoy it. I was a teacher before I had my kids, and I loved that too but I can’t imagine spending my days teaching other kids and then leaving my kids home with another adult to watch them. If I needed to do this for financial reasons or I just didn’t enjoy being at home, then that would be different. I do hope to go back to some part time work once all my kids are out of preschool, but only during the hours they are in school.

[Anonymous]

Wish I could SAH -- or better yet work part-time with a super flexible schedule. Working 10 hours a week now as my kids are really little and maybe moving up to 20-30 hours a week when they get to school age would be ideal if the hours were of my choosing (e.g. naptime/after bedtime). Sadly, I don't think that's really an option in my field and I need my job for health insurance and income anyway so it's just a pipe dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We FIREd so we're both "retired" in a way.

I SAHM and he left his demanding, high paying job for a "fun" job after he his his retirement number. We both have a ton of flexibility so no one gets jealous. He takes every Friday afternoon off to play golf, for instance.

So in other words, just be rich. Gee, thanks for that stellar advice. Why did no one else think of this.

Lots of people FIRE in their forties or fifties. It is not so uncommon or bad advice.

[Anonymous]

I lost my job due to COVID and am miserable. Kids elementary age.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been a SAHP ever since my oldest was born, so for almost 7 years now. I’ve always been grateful for the opportunity to be home during the kids’ early years. And last year when our schools were only offering virtual school, I was able to pull the kids out of school and homeschool. I wouldn’t want to homeschool long term but it was nice to have the option last year so they didn’t have to do virtual school (which my kindergartener really wouldn’t have done well w).

I’ll most likely go back to work once they are all in full day school but I’ll always be glad I had this time w them where I could solely focus on the kids/household management and not a job.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

Even if I won the lottery tomorrow, I'd work. Maybe not my current job but definitely something in my field. I love having it as part of my identity and the way I use my mind and my personality to get stuff done.

[Anonymous]

I wasn’t very good at it. Felt I relied on screens too much and was overwhelmed by housework and was not a great housekeeping organizer. And it was lonely for me. But I like picking up my kids from school and being involved in sports and field trips. so I work part time while they are in school. Definitely a professional compromise from what I could be doing but it works best for me and my kids right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d want to be a sahm with help like a nanny or preschool. I love my kids but they drain me. I also am type A and have trouble dealing with the mess nonstop. Instead I work a flexible job and have a 1 mile commute.

+1. I’m a sahm now to three boys 4 and under. I’d keep being a sahm but, if I had all the money in the world, I’d outsource a lot of the cleaning/cooking/chores and might hire a nanny to help out a bit so I could get breaks.

[Anonymous]

Definitely.

[Anonymous]

No, but would prefer to cut back to part-time hours while my kids are in school. That's my ideal, but haven't been able to make it work.

[Anonymous]

No way. We could afford it, but I love my job and the intellectual stimulation I get from it. I took a year off for each child and worked 30 hours/week for a few years but full time is where I am happiest.

[Anonymous]

YES. I feel extremely unfulfilled by my profession. I regret the time that has passed that I have not spent with my kids, especially during the baby and young toddler years when kids who have a SAHP are typically home with them. Now that they are young ES'ers, I would love to be able to meet them at the bus stop without having to go back to my computer when we go back inside (as was the case during hybrid schooling). Too much of my mental bandwidth is taken up by work stress.

That said, I make nearly 50% of our HHI. We would have to drastically change our lifestyle and future plans to have me SAH. I would love to start a creative venture and work on that during the day for personal fulfillment and spend non-school time focused on the kids. I fully realize that only a very small percentage of people get to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way. We could afford it, but I love my job and the intellectual stimulation I get from it. I took a year off for each child and worked 30 hours/week for a few years but full time is where I am happiest.

Similar here.

[Anonymous]

I've done both, but I've found I prefer working.

I'm just happier when I get to work.