decent women my own age to date don't exist

[Anonymous]

I know I'm going to get hateful comments about this but Just feel like expressing this out loud....

I'm a man in my mid-40s. I've been divorced for about 6 years now. The first year after the divorce I didn't date but when I did start to date I met a few nice women in their mid-to-late 30s but it didn't work out. Either one or both of us were busy with jobs or my job was relocating me and it was too early in the relationship for either of us to upend things. As I moved into my mid-40s I've noticed the women in their mid-late 30 are less interested but I've met a couple in their 20s. I've been worried about long-term relationships with someone that much younger but I simply don't see any viable women that are in their 40s. Part of the reason is the women in their 40s have less optimistic attitudes. They just act grumpy and complain about stuff all the time. A lot of them have let themselves go even beyond normal aging. I'm also noticing that a lot of women in their 40 who are divorced really like to drink as their pass time. The whole lifestyle doesn't fit for me. I'm still active and optimistic and they appear to have settled into a routine that involves a pet and their favorite wine (I don't drink).

It feels like there is a dearth of viable long term female 40 something-ish women who can potentially make good long-term partner/wife.

Has anyone else out there experienced the same issue?

There is one girl that is in her 20s and she has been hinting that she would like to be exclusive (hinting shes interested in marriage, etc.) and I'm thinking that maybe I should forget what other people would think and just go for it.

[Anonymous]

Why not? Grab the brass ring if she is happy, healthy, and well adjusted.

[Anonymous]

Maybe its you. My husband had no issue getting remarried.

[Anonymous]

My husband is 19 years older than me.
I married him because he was intellectually brilliant and didn't talk down to me, plus he had a sexy voice.
There were red flags I could have paid attention to had I not been so young and ignorant. It turns out my husband has serious problems that he needs to address, but the age gap has never been an issue.

Fast forward 13 years and two kids later, and I can tell you that marriage is always going to be work. You're going to need to work for your continued happiness, and sometimes you're going to feel as if all this work is getting you nowhere. Take the long view.

I hope you've thought long and hard about your first marriage and what you could have done better.

[Anonymous]

Okay.

[Anonymous]

Was this a really pathetic attempt at a humble brag?

[Anonymous]

If you are consistently meeting "grumpy" women for years, it's probaby not them it's you and your selection crieteria. If you have unrealistic expectations or outrageous standards or you dont have the same expectations for yourself that you seek in your ideal woman, then you'll contine to meet the wrong one. Time for some honest self-evaluation.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you want affirmation of your choice to date a much younger woman. What does that have to do with older women?

[Anonymous]

Are you only looking at younger women? I'd look at 5 years older and you might find more options.

[Anonymous]

Oh come on. Just own your 2nd trophy wife and move on. Plenty of awesome 40 year old women you don't want to date for reasons other than wine or dogs.

[Anonymous]

While it may be slim pickins out there, I strongly encourage you to keep actively looking OP.

Remember: ------> Nothing good ever comes easy in life.

I also strongly discourage you from entering into a serious relationship w/anyone in their twenties.
Sure, there is a chance that it could work out between you two, but the odds wouldn't be stacked too highly in your favor.

Reason being is that you both would be at two very different stages in your lives.

I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was this a really pathetic attempt at a humble brag?

I wondered this, too, but I've had the same experience. Dating younger women is so much more fun. Young women have their whole lives ahead of them and are so happy and optimistic. Women my own age always complain about how bad men are and how their jobs aren't working out yada yada yada. Furthermore, young women can talk about art and music and literature among other things, while older women can talk their job and maybe their hobby if they have one, but that's about it.

[Anonymous]

I know a ton of awesome women in their 40's. They take care of themselves, make good money and have great lives. I only know a couple of negative nellies. Sometimes 40-something dating gets us down. Sounds like you haven't tried very hard and are looking for justification/approval to date a much younger woman.

[Anonymous]

Not to mention, we wouldn't have touched your pole within 10 feet in our twenties. You have to ask yourself what 20's girl wants to be with a 40 year old. Eww...

You're dating creepy young chicks without options or gold diggers. Your choice.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should date women who interest you!!

Don't discount the 20s ones as a group, and don't discount the 40s ones as a group either.