DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I wanted a very large family and had 6 children in 5 years. We have a great arrangement, my 2 nannies (one Spanish speaking and one Chinese, so our children will be tri-lingual, and of course get in the best schools) live with our children in the main house while my husband and I live it up in the perfect guest house. We hold all our parties in the main house of course and the nannies bring our perfectly groomed children down for a quick parade and keep them quiet up stairs the rest of the night. Then we retire to our quiet, clean "mommy" house as the children call it. We make sure to say good night to our children every night and tell them mommy and daddy
love them, so they know who their parents are. I think it's working out quite well, anyone else have this arrangement?

Gosh! You must have a GREAT plastic surgeon. Or did you hire a surrogate?

I've insisted that my very wealthy husband pay for the plastic surgery the day after I deliver, I mean really in our world who has time to be flabby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh! You must have a GREAT plastic surgeon. Or did you hire a surrogate?

I've insisted that my very wealthy husband pay for the plastic surgery the day after I deliver, I mean really in our world who has time to be flabby?

I really must recommend having children via a surrogate or adoption. No mess, no fuss. Just pick up when ready.

[Anonymous]

Why are you people up posting at this hour? I thought everyone was having mind-blowing sex with their model-gorgeous husbands. ?

[Anonymous]

No - Waiting for him to doze off so I could grab my laptop and post about what a jerk he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you people up posting at this hour? I thought everyone was having mind-blowing sex with their model-gorgeous husbands. ?

Well you do realize that I have 6 very young children and just can't find the energy for anything so physical. I mean I spend 3 hours a day working out, the rest shopping and catching up with my oh so dear friends that I only see once a day, and then the 20 minutes with my darlings, i'm exhausted by now.

[Anonymous]

A helpful link for all of us... www.justfuckinggoogleit.com

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you people up posting at this hour? I thought everyone was having mind-blowing sex with their model-gorgeous husbands. ?

DH fell asleep after the mind-blowing sex. I'm up writing thank you notes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No - Waiting for him to doze off so I could grab my laptop and post about what a jerk he is.

Is the bean counter DH going over your student loan repayment stuff?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you people up posting at this hour? I thought everyone was having mind-blowing sex with their model-gorgeous husbands. ?

DH fell asleep after the mind-blowing sex. I'm up writing thank you notes.

Thank God they're not pre-printed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you people up posting at this hour? I thought everyone was having mind-blowing sex with their model-gorgeous husbands. ?

DH fell asleep after the mind-blowing sex. I'm up writing thank you notes.

Thank God they're not pre-printed!

LOL!!

[Anonymous]

Does everyone know that there are some mothers who will take their DC on an errand without another adult to help them? I would NEVER do this. It requires you to leave your child in the car unattended!!!! If I take DC somewhere by myself, who is going to sit in the car with him after I strap him into his car seat? I mean, I have to strap him in and then walk around the car to get in the driver seat. That leaves DC in the car alone. Not to mention, when you get to your destination, you have to get out of the driver's seat and walk around to unbuckle DC's car seat... thus leaving DC alone in the car AGAIN while you walk around the car to the back seat. Yet, some mothers do this all the time. I hope they all get arrested. How hard is it to only go places when your DH is with you, or to hire a driving companion? Why have kids if you are going to place them in harm's way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does everyone know that there are some mothers who will take their DC on an errand without another adult to help them? I would NEVER do this. It requires you to leave your child in the car unattended!!!! If I take DC somewhere by myself, who is going to sit in the car with him after I strap him into his car seat? I mean, I have to strap him in and then walk around the car to get in the driver seat. That leaves DC in the car alone. Not to mention, when you get to your destination, you have to get out of the driver's seat and walk around to unbuckle DC's car seat... thus leaving DC alone in the car AGAIN while you walk around the car to the back seat. Yet, some mothers do this all the time. I hope they all get arrested. How hard is it to only go places when your DH is with you, or to hire a driving companion? Why have kids if you are going to place them in harm's way?

Just leave them home with the nanny, you idiot.

[Anonymous]

Exactly -- who does their own errands, anyway? That's why I contract out everything I possibly can.

Housekeeping, lawn, errands ... sleep training, thank you note-writing, sex with DH, ....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exactly -- who does their own errands, anyway? That's why I contract out everything I possibly can.

Housekeeping, lawn, errands ... sleep training, thank you note-writing, sex with DH, ....

Good god, how much do you pay the housekeeper, anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you people up posting at this hour? I thought everyone was having mind-blowing sex with their model-gorgeous husbands. ?

DH fell asleep after the mind-blowing sex. I'm up writing thank you notes.

Thank God they're not pre-printed!

Who would be so tacky as to send a pre-printed thank-you note for sex?