DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi!

I'm tall and thin, have long blond hair (which I maintain on a regular basis), and am a SAHM with a nanny and maid and a son enrolled full time at a big name school. I also volunteer on a regular basis. Yet I'm having a hard time finding a mother's group that fits my style.

any advice/avenues to pursue?

FWIW, we are planning on moving to the Maryland suburbs from DC, and I'm currently in therapy learning coping mechanisms to help me with the move.

TIA!

If you are looking at Takoma Park you might want to consider abandoning efforts to process your hair, so that it returns to its natural dark and frizzy state. Also you should adopt a more intellectual attitude -- if possible you should be supercilious to others who are your intellectual (and political) inferiors.

At least according to David Brooks.

Did David Brooks write this about Takoma Park, really? LOL! Can you post a link?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi!

I'm tall and thin, have long blond hair (which I maintain on a regular basis), and am a SAHM with a nanny and maid and a son enrolled full time at a big name school. I also volunteer on a regular basis. Yet I'm having a hard time finding a mother's group that fits my style.

any advice/avenues to pursue?

FWIW, we are planning on moving to the Maryland suburbs from DC, and I'm currently in therapy learning coping mechanisms to help me with the move.

TIA!

If you are looking at Takoma Park you might want to consider abandoning efforts to process your hair, so that it returns to its natural dark and frizzy state. Also you should adopt a more intellectual attitude -- if possible you should be supercilious to others who are your intellectual (and political) inferiors.

At least according to David Brooks.

Did David Brooks write this about Takoma Park, really? LOL! Can you post a link?

Or are you referring to the "crunchy suburb" in his NYT Mag piece from a few years ago, which everyone took to be Takoma Park?

[Anonymous]

The NYT Mag piece. Which I took to mean Takoma Park -- was I wrong? He lives in Bethesda, I hear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The NYT Mag piece. Which I took to mean Takoma Park -- was I wrong? He lives in Bethesda, I hear.

I thought he was talking about Grover or Cleveland Park in DC.


http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/03/opinion/03brooks.html?_r=1&ref=opinion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The NYT Mag piece. Which I took to mean Takoma Park -- was I wrong? He lives in Bethesda, I hear.

Yes, when that piece came out -- in 2004, I think -- it was widely believed that he was referring to Takoma Park. He probably hasn't been around here lately. Lots of yuppies with processed hair.

[Anonymous]

I'm loving this thread. More, please! I especially loved the "nanny" posting. Brilliant!

[Anonymous]

"Hi!

I'm tall and thin, have long blond hair (which I maintain on a regular basis), and am a SAHM with a nanny and maid and a son enrolled full time at a big name school. I also volunteer on a regular basis. Yet I'm having a hard time finding a mother's group that fits my style.

any advice/avenues to pursue?

FWIW, we are planning on moving to the Maryland suburbs from DC, and I'm currently in therapy learning coping mechanisms to help me with the move.

TIA!"

Not to worry, dear. In a few short years your husband will dump you for his "soul mate". You"ll turn into a bloated mess with no job prospects (you might have heard that the economy is tanking). You'll be forced to share custody of your son with your ex and his new squeeze. Then you'll find lots of mothers' groups that fit your style!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Hi!

I'm tall and thin, have long blond hair (which I maintain on a regular basis), and am a SAHM with a nanny and maid and a son enrolled full time at a big name school. I also volunteer on a regular basis. Yet I'm having a hard time finding a mother's group that fits my style.

any advice/avenues to pursue?

FWIW, we are planning on moving to the Maryland suburbs from DC, and I'm currently in therapy learning coping mechanisms to help me with the move.

TIA!"

Not to worry, dear. In a few short years your husband will dump you for his "soul mate". You"ll turn into a bloated mess with no job prospects (you might have heard that the economy is tanking). You'll be forced to share custody of your son with your ex and his new squeeze. Then you'll find lots of mothers' groups that fit your style!

I'm a married woman and I love meeting married men at bars to canoodle with them. If you post your number maybe I can set something up with your husband. I am a tiger in bed (meow!) and have so many insecurities that after I have a romp with him I will surely post about it in the Dads forum for attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The NYT Mag piece. Which I took to mean Takoma Park -- was I wrong? He lives in Bethesda, I hear.

Yes, when that piece came out -- in 2004, I think -- it was widely believed that he was referring to Takoma Park. He probably hasn't been around here lately. Lots of yuppies with processed hair.

I agree, my own hair is dyed. Our lawns aren't quite up to snuff, however, at least compared with western MoCo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Hi!

I'm tall and thin, have long blond hair (which I maintain on a regular basis), and am a SAHM with a nanny and maid and a son enrolled full time at a big name school. I also volunteer on a regular basis. Yet I'm having a hard time finding a mother's group that fits my style.

any advice/avenues to pursue?

FWIW, we are planning on moving to the Maryland suburbs from DC, and I'm currently in therapy learning coping mechanisms to help me with the move.

TIA!"

Not to worry, dear. In a few short years your husband will dump you for his "soul mate". You"ll turn into a bloated mess with no job prospects (you might have heard that the economy is tanking). You'll be forced to share custody of your son with your ex and his new squeeze. Then you'll find lots of mothers' groups that fit your style!

That's impossible because I am a young mother.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I wanted a very large family and had 6 children in 5 years. We have a great arrangement, my 2 nannies (one Spanish speaking and one Chinese, so our children will be tri-lingual, and of course get in the best schools) live with our children in the main house while my husband and I live it up in the perfect guest house. We hold all our parties in the main house of course and the nannies bring our perfectly groomed children down for a quick parade and keep them quiet up stairs the rest of the night. Then we retire to our quiet, clean "mommy" house as the children call it. We make sure to say good night to our children every night and tell them mommy and daddy love them, so they know who their parents are. I think it's working out quite well, anyone else have this arrangement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I wanted a very large family and had 6 children in 5 years. We have a great arrangement, my 2 nannies (one Spanish speaking and one Chinese, so our children will be tri-lingual, and of course get in the best schools) live with our children in the main house while my husband and I live it up in the perfect guest house. We hold all our parties in the main house of course and the nannies bring our perfectly groomed children down for a quick parade and keep them quiet up stairs the rest of the night. Then we retire to our quiet, clean "mommy" house as the children call it. We make sure to say good night to our children every night and tell them mommy and daddy
love them, so they know who their parents are. I think it's working out quite well, anyone else have this arrangement?

Gosh! You must have a GREAT plastic surgeon. Or did you hire a surrogate?

[Anonymous]

I'm a married woman and I love meeting married men at bars to canoodle with them. If you post your number maybe I can set something up with your husband. I am a tiger in bed (meow!) and have so many insecurities that after I have a romp with him I will surely post about it in the Dads forum for attention.

Confession: I am really a Dad who likes to canoodle with female colleagues during the workday and on business trips. It's only a couple of times a month, so no big deal. I love, love, love my wife and would never do anything to hurt her. (I insist on a condom, and what she doesn't know doesn't hurt her, right? Heh heh.) Won't you please tell me how clever I am to pose as a DCUM tigress and get you ladies all worked up. My chums at work think I'm hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I wanted a very large family and had 6 children in 5 years. We have a great arrangement, my 2 nannies (one Spanish speaking and one Chinese, so our children will be tri-lingual, and of course get in the best schools) live with our children in the main house while my husband and I live it up in the perfect guest house. We hold all our parties in the main house of course and the nannies bring our perfectly groomed children down for a quick parade and keep them quiet up stairs the rest of the night. Then we retire to our quiet, clean "mommy" house as the children call it. We make sure to say good night to our children every night and tell them mommy and daddy love them, so they know who their parents are. I think it's working out quite well, anyone else have this arrangement?

Yes, we do too! You forgot to mention our very important and very stimulating jobs though! We are both partners at Pallon Bopps and we shuffle very important papers around all day, have a few drinks at Cafe Milano every evening, and THEN head home to our perfect house! Our parents know who their parents are too!

AND, we can afford only the best: Beauvoir and Sidwell. Sidwell, especially, because we are pacifists and care so much about people like our Spanish and Chinese nannies who are just part of our wonderful family!

Peace. Oh shit, my one of my kids is awake and screaming - have to get my nannies to get out of bed and handle it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I wanted a very large family and had 6 children in 5 years. We have a great arrangement, my 2 nannies (one Spanish speaking and one Chinese, so our children will be tri-lingual, and of course get in the best schools) live with our children in the main house while my husband and I live it up in the perfect guest house. We hold all our parties in the main house of course and the nannies bring our perfectly groomed children down for a quick parade and keep them quiet up stairs the rest of the night. Then we retire to our quiet, clean "mommy" house as the children call it. We make sure to say good night to our children every night and tell them mommy and daddy love them, so they know who their parents are. I think it's working out quite well, anyone else have this arrangement?

Yes, we do too! You forgot to mention our very important and very stimulating jobs though! We are both partners at Pallon Bopps and we shuffle very important papers around all day, have a few drinks at Cafe Milano every evening, and THEN head home to our perfect house! Our parents know who their parents are too!

AND, we can afford only the best: Beauvoir and Sidwell. Sidwell, especially, because we are pacifists and care so much about people like our Spanish and Chinese nannies who are just part of our wonderful family!

Peace. Oh shit, my one of my kids is awake and screaming - have to get my nannies to get out of bed and handle it!

Thats why we make it a point never to enter the main house after 7 pm, thats why the nannies have monitors.