How do you reconcile the reality of your aging body with the memory of your younger self?

[Anonymous]

The aches and pains of middle age. The vision problems. The stranger who stares at you in the mirror.

How do you reconcile the reality of getting older -- dare I say of getting old -- with your memory of your better, younger self? Which one is the real you?

I know the younger me isn't coming back. Do I really need to leave that person behind in order to be happy in middle age and beyond?

What's the psychological trick you play on yourself to become OK with growing old?

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I am 49 and having a surprisingly hard time with this transition.

[Anonymous]

I run almost every day, and I've also recently added light weights. I don't see much difference at 37 and I love how toned my legs and butt are from running.

I really suggest you find an exercise routine you enjoy enough to do regularly, and then do it enthusiastically and hard enough that it will actually work your muscles. I know this is an unpopular opinion, but yoga has never been enough/effective for my body type, and it does not give me that glorious "high" I get from a super hard run. My friends whose exercise consists of yoga or similar ARE getting saggier with age, even if they are not overweight. You need hard, regular cardio as you get older to keep off the middle aged spread, but it is very possible to maintain if that is what is important to you.

Also, you don't care about your "age number" when in the throes of a runner's high; you only care about how great you feel. This is a lot better than fretting.

[Anonymous]

I have zero issue with this. I got arthritis when I was 18. It was so severe that I couldn't walk for a year and had PT at home 3 x a week to re-learn to walk. I remember being about 22 or 23 and falling down while standing at work - my back and legs just momentarily stopped working so I fell, and everyone laughed.

Now I'm much older and your issue is really just not anything I think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. I am 49 and having a surprisingly hard time with this transition.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I don't see much difference at 37

Lol. Neither did the rest of us! Your advice is obviously well-intentioned and would be good for anyone, at any age, but... Come back in 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have zero issue with this. I got arthritis when I was 18. It was so severe that I couldn't walk for a year and had PT at home 3 x a week to re-learn to walk. I remember being about 22 or 23 and falling down while standing at work - my back and legs just momentarily stopped working so I fell, and everyone laughed.

Now I'm much older and your issue is really just not anything I think about.

Similar story here. A lot of things we associate with age are various degrees of disability, which all our odds of having increase with age. As someone who had a period of disability when I was young, it definitely made me appreciate when my body was working well as a bonus, not a given. Not trying to dismiss your concerns, OP, but perhaps reframing your dillemia as appreciation for what you had in your youth for however long you had it would help you make peace with the present.

[Anonymous]

52. Because of medical issues, I feel like my body is falling apart (because it more or less is: things growing inside, blood vessels clogged etc).

But, I know more than I ever have before. I know who I am. I am happier (hey, I am alive in spite of the odds). So, while my physical health continues to degrade, my mental heath is much stronger.

[Anonymous]

Enough with the melodrama.

I do my best to stay in shape despite some chronic health issues. I work in n filling my life with the right people.

Getting old is not for the meek, but it beats the alternative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I run almost every day, and I've also recently added light weights. I don't see much difference at 37 and I love how toned my legs and butt are from running.

I really suggest you find an exercise routine you enjoy enough to do regularly, and then do it enthusiastically and hard enough that it will actually work your muscles. I know this is an unpopular opinion, but yoga has never been enough/effective for my body type, and it does not give me that glorious "high" I get from a super hard run. My friends whose exercise consists of yoga or similar ARE getting saggier with age, even if they are not overweight. You need hard, regular cardio as you get older to keep off the middle aged spread, but it is very possible to maintain if that is what is important to you.

Also, you don't care about your "age number" when in the throes of a runner's high; you only care about how great you feel. This is a lot better than fretting.

Uh, this is posted in 50 and over, brainiac. They don't want to hear from whippersnappers like us.

[Anonymous]

Eh. I have never feared aging, that said I have always stayed on top of things - my looks and my health. I know I'm gonna get old but I want to do it gracefully. I don't know OP, you have to change your mindset or stop looking in the mirror. there's not tricks for this one.

[Anonymous]

I have no issue with getting older. It is called acceptance.

By 45, you should be done with the having a baby stage... and all the vanity and trappings that goes with it. It's time to focus on career, hobby, volunteering, world peace, whatever.

With wisdom, hopefully you are not stuck just thinking about "your aging body with the memory of your younger self".

[Anonymous]

I'm finding it hard to let go. There are some things that I get - like we were long distance cyclers before kids and now after 10 miles, I feel like packing it in, but we haven't had time to do much cycling in over a decade. Still, I try to stay active by walking a few miles a day. Two big things for me is that I am struggling with the post menopausal body changes. I never had a fat belly in my life. And, losing weight is much harder. The second thing is that I fight the urge to be timid about trying new things, especially those that present physical challenges.

I have no advice. Personally, I am recognizing these things and working on strategies. Like, walking, meal planning, etc. Also, I have been trying to find common interests with my kids that involve physical activity. Not gonna do ziplines, but we do kayak and bike together. I'm also working at picking back up my pre-kid hobbies because I discovered I have a couch potato side, something else I never had before. Thing about this is that what used to come naturally now takes an effort - not necessarily a great effort, but I do have to remind myself to do things whereas I just did before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I run almost every day, and I've also recently added light weights. I don't see much difference at 37 and I love how toned my legs and butt are from running.

I really suggest you find an exercise routine you enjoy enough to do regularly, and then do it enthusiastically and hard enough that it will actually work your muscles. I know this is an unpopular opinion, but yoga has never been enough/effective for my body type, and it does not give me that glorious "high" I get from a super hard run. My friends whose exercise consists of yoga or similar ARE getting saggier with age, even if they are not overweight. You need hard, regular cardio as you get older to keep off the middle aged spread, but it is very possible to maintain if that is what is important to you.

Also, you don't care about your "age number" when in the throes of a runner's high; you only care about how great you feel. This is a lot better than fretting.

Uh, this is posted in 50 and over, brainiac. They don't want to hear from whippersnappers like us.

37 is not young. Only thing separating 37 and 50 is 13 years... it will go by in a couple of blinks. Aging is relative. You'll be here in no time. Just enjoy every age.

[Anonymous]

I get very frustrated that I have a sore back once in a while. I am overweight, though, and I attribute it to that more than age. I know so many women, including my mom, who are so active into their 50s, 60s, and 70s. So my goal is to lose a little weight and get a little fitter. Baby steps here.

And I just read that weight lifting, which I've done most of my life, but not recently, is really good for women to help stave off the inability to do ADLs much later in life.

My mom at 75 is still very active, although she pulls things and tears things much more often. I wonder if adding weight lifting would have helped lessen that.

So honestly, my goal is just to stay in good physical condition now. My face? The aging part? Spots, some lines, all that. Nothing I can really do about that. But I want to keep moving around well.