Do you regret being a virgin?

[Anonymous]

I am a virgin who is about to turn 30. I am waiting till marriage. Now I feel regret thinking I missed out on years of what couldve been really amazing sex! I have a boyfriend whom I intend to marry. Should I go for it?
Did I miss out?

[Anonymous]

Nope, waited till I got married and am very happy that I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, waited till I got married and am very happy that I did.

How old were you when you married?

[Anonymous]

God always rewards those who follow His plan.

[Anonymous]

No. 23 when I got married. We're just fine. It's getting better and better even. Almost a decade later and seriously just this week has been the BEST. With good communication and a partner you trust it can ONLY get better. Sometimes I feel bad for people who share something so awesome with someone they aren't fully invested in. You'll be fine jumping in whenever you want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. 23 when I got married. We're just fine. It's getting better and better even. Almost a decade later and seriously just this week has been the BEST. With good communication and a partner you trust it can ONLY get better. Sometimes I feel bad for people who share something so awesome with someone they aren't fully invested in. You'll be fine jumping in whenever you want to.

Let me add I had a few 'close' experiences with BFs before I found the right guy and married him. So glad I really waited to go for it with DH. Those other guys broke my heart. But all of my hormones were invested in those guys bc we experienced 'stuff' together. That oxytocin and the love I had for them made each breakup suuuper tough. Other women sort of learn to train themselves out of that...I think...or else they hide it well. But I was completely attached to those guys just from the limited experience I had with them. I can't imagine if I had really done it all with them.

[Anonymous]

I can't answer that because I wasn't a virgin when I married. However, I can say I don't regret any of the experiences I had before I was married. They helped shape me. I figured out some likes and dislikes. I know I'm happy with DH instead of wondering if there's more out there. I can't imagine marrying someone without having sex first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a virgin who is about to turn 30. I am waiting till marriage. Now I feel regret thinking I missed out on years of what could've been really amazing sex! I have a boyfriend whom I intend to marry. Should I go for it?
Did I miss out?

You did not miss out. You should tie the knot soon though. Sex could be an incentive for your boyfriend to pop the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a virgin who is about to turn 30. I am waiting till marriage. Now I feel regret thinking I missed out on years of what could've been really amazing sex! I have a boyfriend whom I intend to marry. Should I go for it?
Did I miss out?

You did not miss out. You should tie the knot soon though. Sex could be an incentive for your boyfriend to pop the question.

That's weirdly manipulative. That shouldn't be the reason to marry someone.

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind too...normally women settle into the relationship a bit. So with all of the anticipation, you'll feel silly later that you didn't wait. Because it will be so commonplace, and you may not even want it so much...hmmm how else can I say this? Like we have had periods where I don't want it as much. And I think back on how hard it was to stay w/o it, and now I hardly want it. It's funny to me.

Let me clarify that I'm a poster above who said this week was the best....it's all periodic. Sometimes I super want it a lot, other times not as much... Let me get more obvi with you too. My desire for sex peaks leading up to ovulation. My body's like "have a baby!!!!!!" I'm done with kids by the way. But my libido still wants it.

So if you're having a hard time saying No, and you want to remain a virgin. Watch out on days 10-16 (counting day 1 as day 1 of your period).

[Anonymous]

^i wish I knew that before, when I had the close calls. Stuff you learn when you start caring about ovulation.

[Anonymous]

Virgins who posted, were your spouses Virgins too?

[Anonymous]

My DW was a virgin. I had had 2 partners, none in previous decade. (We married in30s). Two observations: 1) I loved everyone I had sex with. I know many guys are horndogs but I would not have sex without a deep emotional bond. It is a really intense thing. 2) The decline of my DW and I has never been great. We could not have known before we married, but we have not been that compatible. She has never orgasmed during sex, only oral. Sex was painful for her at first, which affected me as well. There was a lot more oral before we married, almost none after (from her), which I miss. It is a work in progress, and we did not communicate about this issue enough at times. Working on that now. Don't expect to jump right into great sex when you marry. But it is a good thing to work on!

In short, you have not missed out on anything. Cheap, meaningless sex is exactly that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DW was a virgin. I had had 2 partners, none in previous decade. (We married in30s). Two observations: 1) I loved everyone I had sex with. I know many guys are horndogs but I would not have sex without a deep emotional bond. It is a really intense thing. 2) The decline of my DW and I has never been great. We could not have known before we married, but we have not been that compatible. She has never orgasmed during sex, only oral. Sex was painful for her at first, which affected me as well. There was a lot more oral before we married, almost none after (from her), which I miss. It is a work in progress, and we did not communicate about this issue enough at times. Working on that now. Don't expect to jump right into great sex when you marry. But it is a good thing to work on!

In short, you have not missed out on anything. Cheap, meaningless sex is exactly that.

Stupid spell check. Should read "sex life ... has not been great"

[Anonymous]

I was a virgin until I got engaged at 28.

I am now mid-40s and I do regret it a bit. Looking back, I think I made too big a deal out of it. I'm not saying hop in the sack with just anyone but it would have been nice to have more sexual experiences.

I have daughters and if they ever ask me, I would advise them not to wait. If you're in a caring relationship, go for it.