When to downsize? When kids leave for college or later?

[Anonymous]

Just curious whether it was somehow helpful or important to your kids for you to still live in the same house/neighborhood where they went to high school. We will be close to retirement age when last kid goes to college and I imagine that we will not want or need the big family house at that time. But, I can also see that it would be nice for kids to come back during college to be in their old neighborhood. And then there is the thought that they might want to live rent-free after college when they start working, etc. etc.

I can see that having the family house would be convenient for certain times (holidays, etc.), but really, what do people find to be the right time to downsize. (we recently vacationed in a 2 bdrm condo -- one level and really like it! made us wonder why we have so much space and how long we will want a big house after the kids leave). I'm just looking for other people's wisdom.

[Anonymous]

If you want to downsize, wait a few more years until they find their first stable jobs. A lot of them come back home after college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to downsize, wait a few more years until they find their first stable jobs. A lot of them come back home after college.

This is our plan, too. Or, at least get a new place with an extra BR.

[Anonymous]

Unless your house is huge, I'd wait.

Kids come back home after college these days. And they even when they leave, -- they marry and have children. You need space for them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Unless your house is huge, I'd wait.

Kids come back home after college these days. And they even when they leave, -- they marry and have children. You need space for them!

At some point, though, you do want to downsize. My parents didn't, and they are now too old to take care of their house - two stories, largish yard, and it's harder now to get them to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to downsize, wait a few more years until they find their first stable jobs. A lot of them come back home after college.

I agree. There is also the possibility that you may want to move elsewhere, e.g. to be closer to wherever they settle.

[Anonymous]

You definitely need space when they are in college because they do come home for vacations, including some summers. My kids were still home at least 1/3 of the year when you count vacations and summer. Only one of mine has graduated so far and hasn't boomeranged back yet, but there is still time. I have friends who downsized and then both kids moved back home. It is tight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You definitely need space when they are in college because they do come home for vacations, including some summers. My kids were still home at least 1/3 of the year when you count vacations and summer. Only one of mine has graduated so far and hasn't boomeranged back yet, but there is still time. I have friends who downsized and then both kids moved back home. It is tight.

And this is the DC area. You need the space at least through undergraduate years. Plus if they work locally or are in grad school? Unless they are an engineer or stay an extra year for CPA they will not earn enough to be self supporting.

[Anonymous]

Wait until a few years after college. Then, if having space for grandchildren visits is important, wait until you are getting to the point where you can't take care of the house you have. My ILs have actually added onto their house since the grandchildren came along because a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom bath wasn't conducive to having guests.

[Anonymous]

Why even downsize? What are the positives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Unless your house is huge, I'd wait.

Kids come back home after college these days. And they even when they leave, -- they marry and have children. You need space for them!

I kind of feel sad for all those people whose lives revolve around their kids for decades on end. It never ends does it? My friend with a 29-year-old son, grad degree and everything, just gave him $15,000 to leave her house for good...because he and his depressing fiancee just wanted to live in her huge home forever. I can't even imagine...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why even downsize? What are the positives?

Freedom. Full-stop.

They don't have to worry about maintenance on an aging property or landscaping, they can probably cash out with over $500,000 in 'whatever' money even after getting the new place, they can take vacations without worrying about someone taking care of the property while they're gone, they don't have to pingpong around empty rooms...

I mean really if you don't have 3-5 kids under foot and need the space or are out of the stage of huge dinner parties, then yeah its a win-win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want to downsize, wait a few more years until they find their first stable jobs. A lot of them come back home after college.

I agree. There is also the possibility that you may want to move elsewhere, e.g. to be closer to wherever they settle.

don't do this. My family and DH's family are scatter everywhere. Young adults move around, even after having kids. Pick a spot where *YOU* want to retire.

[Anonymous]

Can you downsize **within** your current house, at least while your kids are in college? Live within it like it's a two bedroom condo; close off doors to all the excess rooms; get rid of all the stuff you would get rid of if you were moving into a condo. Then you'll be ready to make an easy transition into the condo of your dreams once they're stable?

(And, to speak from personal experience, my mom moved after my first year of college, and I hated it. I was super jealous that all my friends were going home to houses where they had bedrooms, and where their friends were still in the neighborhood, while I was going "home" to a little apartment, where I didn't have my own space, and I didn't know the neighborhood. I don't fault my mom at all--she was stuck with some bad life circumstances. But if you have the choice, I would try to spare your kids from that if possible.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Unless your house is huge, I'd wait.

Kids come back home after college these days. And they even when they leave, -- they marry and have children. You need space for them!

At some point, though, you do want to downsize. My parents didn't, and they are now too old to take care of their house - two stories, largish yard, and it's harder now to get them to move.

+1, this is my parents too!