Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm waiting for the parents of preschoolers/babies to infiltrate this thread with their outrage.
Your sister is right. Your nephew can't miss this tournament.

Of course he can miss it. It is a choice, and this mom is choosing to teach her son that family comes second to sports. It is a GAME played with a BALL, not his career trajectory and not anything make or break in his life. It is appalling that the sister is teaching her son that playing with a ball is a priority over an important family event.

Go join a team and try your luck on the field...clearly you have never played a competitive team sport.

[Anonymous]

Forcing teens into family functions is pointless. It's really not your nephew's fault you didn't marry until forty, OP. He has a life, and yes, he is entitled to his choices. The world does not revolve around you and your belated nuptials.

[Anonymous]

My husband missed his own brothers wedding to play in his college football playoff game (it was a semi final, they never anticipated making it that far).

That would have never flown in my family. To each their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband missed his own brothers wedding to play in his college football playoff game (it was a semi final, they never anticipated making it that far).

That would have never flown in my family. To each their own.

This is different. A playoff, for the year's championship? In college? WAAAAYYYY different from these grade school/high school coaches who act like every "tournament" (which happen throughout the season, not just once) is the Super Bowl. I get it that it's hard to field a team if you can't count on people, but these kids are not 100% in charge of their own schedules.

[Anonymous]

OP I would graciously let it go.

My mother made a fuss about every aspect of my planning a wedding, from the location to the date to the food.

We planned a small family meal which suited her dietary needs, sent out invitations (150 of them printed) and then my mother turned around and said she was booking my sister to have a non urgent operation for 2 days before so neither of them would be attending unless I changed the date / venue / food / invitations for all the other people.

obviously I said no and they didn't attend. It was fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I would graciously let it go.

My mother made a fuss about every aspect of my planning a wedding, from the location to the date to the food.

We planned a small family meal which suited her dietary needs, sent out invitations (150 of them printed) and then my mother turned around and said she was booking my sister to have a non urgent operation for 2 days before so neither of them would be attending unless I changed the date / venue / food / invitations for all the other people.

obviously I said no and they didn't attend. It was fine.

IT WAS TEO AND A HALF YEARS AGO. IM SURE OP IS OVER IT BY NOW!!!!!


IDIOTS

[Anonymous]

My sister and one of her sons missed my child's 1st bday party for a soccer tournament when he was 10/11(Year 2005). I had previously showed up for everyone of her 3 boys' bday parties, first communion, school things, etc. 10-years running. I was married 7 years prior to having first child so it was a big deal to me.

My sister and I had both won National soccer championships ourselves, so I get sports--but I have had my now 12 and 9-year kid's and will miss games for family events.

People lose perspective, as do coaches.

I now see how futile all this is and how more important family is. Even my professional retired athlete brother agrees.

It's not the World Cup.

I never said anything at the time, but 11-years later it still bugs me.

[Anonymous]

Family will always be family. They are the ones who will be there for you in tough times. Sports are fleeting. I think your sister is making the wrong choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the hell? I can't believe these people who are saying that a soccer tournament is more important than a family wedding. It's not like this kid is going to be a professional athlete -- and if he was, missing one weekend tournament would not get in his way. People have FUCKED up values around here if they would really let a teenager choose a hobby over his extended family. Jeez.

+1000.

I remember the only family wedding I went to as a teenager very well and fondly. I'd have been mad if I'd had to miss it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister and one of her sons missed my child's 1st bday party for a soccer tournament when he was 10/11(Year 2005). I had previously showed up for everyone of her 3 boys' bday parties, first communion, school things, etc. 10-years running. I was married 7 years prior to having first child so it was a big deal to me.

My sister and I had both won National soccer championships ourselves, so I get sports--but I have had my now 12 and 9-year kid's and will miss games for family events.

People lose perspective, as do coaches.

I now see how futile all this is and how more important family is. Even my professional retired athlete brother agrees.

It's not the World Cup.

I never said anything at the time, but 11-years later it still bugs me.

Oh come on, a first birthday does not compare to a wedding. Ok to miss your kids birthfpday, not ok to miss aunts wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister and one of her sons missed my child's 1st bday party for a soccer tournament when he was 10/11(Year 2005). I had previously showed up for everyone of her 3 boys' bday parties, first communion, school things, etc. 10-years running. I was married 7 years prior to having first child so it was a big deal to me.

My sister and I had both won National soccer championships ourselves, so I get sports--but I have had my now 12 and 9-year kid's and will miss games for family events.

People lose perspective, as do coaches.

I now see how futile all this is and how more important family is. Even my professional retired athlete brother agrees.

It's not the World Cup.

I never said anything at the time, but 11-years later it still bugs me.

Seriously? You are still worked up 11 years later over your sister and nephew missing a 1 year old birthday party? Lady, you need to really get a grip. Even your then 1 year old had not concept of what was going on that day. You owe your sister a big apology for your reacting the way you did back then and holding on to it these many years later is concerning.

[Anonymous]

Amen. Noone wants to attend a 1st bday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

IT WAS TEO AND A HALF YEARS AGO. IM SURE OP IS OVER IT BY NOW!!!!!


IDIOTS

Agreed. PLEASE STOP POSTING!!!

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. For people who didn't play sports, understanding this is difficult, and I feel for you. But you really can't just skip a tournament. This is one of the most important things in the kid's life, and while your wedding is important to you, it just isn't worth possibly sabotaging this kid's future. One of the greatest things I learned from competitive sports was not only teamwork and discipline, but commitment. And I find that people who understand and honor this kind of commitment are more successful adults in work and personal relationships. Your wedding day will be wonder and busy and you will only have spent 2 seconds saying hello to your nephew anyway.
-from, a bride who spent 2 seconds saying hi to her nephew who was bored at her wedding.

[Anonymous]

Plus, OP, I hope you are happy to have saved the $100-400 on your nephew's dinner.