DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a C-Section

You'll never regret it.

Vaginal delivery brings about permanent unwelcome changes in a woman's body. Your vagina will be left larger and looser. Don't believe books like What to Expect When You're Expecting which asserts the changes will be imperceptible. If you're a woman who has ever had sex (you must have since you're pregnant! Unless, of course, you're the Octomom) or worn a tampon, you WILL notice the changes post-childbirth.

Also, planned c-sections are almost always scheduled approximately two weeks before your actual due date. Often a woman can avoid bad stretch marks which make their appearance in the last weeks and days of pregnancy, by delivering before her due date.

And don't get me started on the whole pelvic floor thing. Look, I've tried it both ways. The planned c-section experience is far superior to vaginal delivery on every level. And best of all you're left with an intact vagina! You can't know how important that is until something larger than 5 lbs pushes and strains it's way out of one of the most delicate regions of your body.

I think your stretch mark theory is blown to shreds as hospitals and doctors are only allowing c sections to be scheduled ONE WEEK prior to the due date. God Dammit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Umm - as the SAHM of a highly gifted high school student who attends a prestigious public magnet program, I take offense. "

Are there any parents on this blog who have normal kids?

Can we just ban the suburban public school moms? This forum is for obsessing about how to get into private school, how the private schools make their decisions, whether being fat will stop your kid from getting into private school, et cetera.... Talking about public school is so, I don't know, tacky....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a graduate of Sidwell/Maret/St. Albans and I think you are all twisted. You put way to much pressure on your kids, no wonder they are all screwed up!!! You need too stop worrying soo much because your kid's will feel your anxiety.

No one who misplaces an apostrophe like that went to any of those schools. Sorry, but your grammar has large public high school written all over it.

Was trying to parody some posts that appeared on the Michelle Obama thread, but oh well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. You must be confusing DCUMs with people who live in Rockville.

If they weren't obsessive, they just might not be on this forum in the first place....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. You must be confusing DCUMs with people who live in Rockville.

If they weren't obsessive, they just might not be on this forum in the first place....

Haven't you heard, Rockville is the new DC. Get with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Haven't you heard, Rockville is the new DC. Get with it.

Rockville residents no longer have voting representation in Congress?

[Anonymous]

On the bright side, they now get lead in their water at no extra charge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a C-Section

You'll never regret it.

Vaginal delivery brings about permanent unwelcome changes in a woman's body. Your vagina will be left larger and looser. Don't believe books like What to Expect When You're Expecting which asserts the changes will be imperceptible. If you're a woman who has ever had sex (you must have since you're pregnant! Unless, of course, you're the Octomom) or worn a tampon, you WILL notice the changes post-childbirth.

Also, planned c-sections are almost always scheduled approximately two weeks before your actual due date. Often a woman can avoid bad stretch marks which make their appearance in the last weeks and days of pregnancy, by delivering before her due date.

And don't get me started on the whole pelvic floor thing. Look, I've tried it both ways. The planned c-section experience is far superior to vaginal delivery on every level. And best of all you're left with an intact vagina! You can't know how important that is until something larger than 5 lbs pushes and strains it's way out of one of the most delicate regions of your body.

You are brilliant. And I think you should also avoid breastfeeding, unless you want to end up with two grain sacks hanging from your chest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Haven't you heard, Rockville is the new DC. Get with it.

Rockville residents no longer have voting representation in Congress?

Oh wow, that was good. I guess Rockville no longer has any top rated public high schools either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. You must be confusing DCUMs with people who live in Rockville.

If they weren't obsessive, they just might not be on this forum in the first place....

Haven't you heard, Rockville is the new DC. Get with it.

Ohhhhh. I thought Rockville was the new West Virginia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. You must be confusing DCUMs with people who live in Rockville.

If they weren't obsessive, they just might not be on this forum in the first place....

Haven't you heard, Rockville is the new DC. Get with it.

Ohhhhh. I thought Rockville was the new West Virginia.

Nah, that's Gaithersburg.

[Anonymous]

i think the op is lame. there are serious questions on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you pay nany not enough. Nany work hard for care your childreen. I pay me nany $30 dolars each hour and raise evry 6 month. I give her BMW car and the inserance. She get 4 week holiday and I give nany evry Friday half day with pay. My son is in schol from 9 in morning to 3 in afternoon. Nanny work too hard from 3 until 6 so I tell her not to clean house and relax till bus bring him home. I buy her what she want to eat. I give 2 week bonus at chrismas and ester. When I not work-nany not work, but I pay her becose my son call her mommy. I know other familys do same with there nany.

OMG, this one has me crying with laughter. The offensive is always the funniest...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi!

I'm tall and thin, have long blond hair (which I maintain on a regular basis), and am a SAHM with a nanny and maid and a son enrolled full time at a big name school. I also volunteer on a regular basis. Yet I'm having a hard time finding a mother's group that fits my style.

any advice/avenues to pursue?

FWIW, we are planning on moving to the Maryland suburbs from DC, and I'm currently in therapy learning coping mechanisms to help me with the move.

TIA!

If you are looking at Takoma Park you might want to consider abandoning efforts to process your hair, so that it returns to its natural dark and frizzy state. Also you should adopt a more intellectual attitude -- if possible you should be supercilious to others who are your intellectual (and political) inferiors.

At least according to David Brooks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Umm - as the SAHM of a highly gifted high school student who attends a prestigious public magnet program, I take offense. "

Are there any parents on this blog who have normal kids?

Can we just ban the suburban public school moms? This forum is for obsessing about how to get into private school, how the private schools make their decisions, whether being fat will stop your kid from getting into private school, et cetera.... Talking about public school is so, I don't know, tacky....

Yeah, let's put the "DC" back in DC Urban Moms. Who needs those suburban moms with their good public schools.