What's weird about where you are staying - Thanksgiving 2024 edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

Just proves the family isn’t close and doesn’t talk to each other or they all would have known in advance.

The FIL, who I assume lives with MIL, should have warned people. He had to have know what MIL was cooking and serving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband does long good byes. Knowing this, and since it was late and we were last remaining guests, I put on my jacket and plopped down on a couch to watch football (when my husband said it was time to go). 30 minutes later my husband is saying "hey it's late we really need to get home kids are getting cranky come on wheres your coat..." Directed at me. I asked if he was ready, "yes I said we were leaving 30 minutes ago." So I got up, got the kids to the front door and guess what? We stood there for 20 more minutes while dh talked to people.

There's no way to beat the long-goodbye people.

My husband does this wherever he is; I give him a 30 minute window before the crankiness sets in!

BS - get the kids, get in all in the car and wait.

[Anonymous]

This thread is so entertaining; humans are definitely quirky!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

Just proves the family isn’t close and doesn’t talk to each other or they all would have known in advance.

Um no if someone says they are hosting Thanksgiving that means the traditional meal unless explicitly stated. And if you said salmon I’d say no thanks and we’ll see you another time.

If it never came up in the weeks prior to Thanksgiving then the family isn’t talking. We had numerous conversations with my in-laws about turkey size, which recipes we were using, who was bringing what, etc.

That’s how normal families do it.

No, it depends. When my mom hosts, we have our assignments but she wants to do it her way and there is no discussion or need to discuss—she does our things and we bring our assignments.

When my sister, brother or I host, there is more discussion.

Your way is not the only way, dear.

PP said normal. Your family is not normal.

NP and have a similar scenario. We talked through it, once, years ago on how it would look if my mom hosts. Then it’s like, “Same plan?” Same plan. When my mom hosts, she does almost everything, but my family brings pies and an appetizer, my brother brings wine and homemade mac and cheese, and my sister brings sodas, a chocolate cake, and rolls from our favorite bakery near her house.

There’s no need to pick over and plan. We’re a well-oiled machine! There’s more discussion when someone else hosts. I get that some people like to plan and plot and yip and yap, and good for them. But having a plan and being like, “Same plan? Got it!,” is fine. It’s weird to think otherwise, just because you’re a Big Talkin’ Planner who acts like making a roast turkey and some sides is harder and more involved than it actually is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

Just proves the family isn’t close and doesn’t talk to each other or they all would have known in advance.

Um no if someone says they are hosting Thanksgiving that means the traditional meal unless explicitly stated. And if you said salmon I’d say no thanks and we’ll see you another time.

If it never came up in the weeks prior to Thanksgiving then the family isn’t talking. We had numerous conversations with my in-laws about turkey size, which recipes we were using, who was bringing what, etc.

That’s how normal families do it.

No, it depends. When my mom hosts, we have our assignments but she wants to do it her way and there is no discussion or need to discuss—she does our things and we bring our assignments.

When my sister, brother or I host, there is more discussion.

Your way is not the only way, dear.

PP said normal. Your family is not normal.

NP and have a similar scenario. We talked through it, once, years ago on how it would look if my mom hosts. Then it’s like, “Same plan?” Same plan. When my mom hosts, she does almost everything, but my family brings pies and an appetizer, my brother brings wine and homemade mac and cheese, and my sister brings sodas, a chocolate cake, and rolls from our favorite bakery near her house.

There’s no need to pick over and plan. We’re a well-oiled machine! There’s more discussion when someone else hosts. I get that some people like to plan and plot and yip and yap, and good for them. But having a plan and being like, “Same plan? Got it!,” is fine. It’s weird to think otherwise, just because you’re a Big Talkin’ Planner who acts like making a roast turkey and some sides is harder and more involved than it actually is.

Nice try at a dig! But since my mom is dying of cancer I’ve had to take over all the cooking and the guests change year to year. Sometimes my brother has a new boyfriend, sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes my other brother and his family come, some times they don’t. So who is coming and what they bring is different and I try not to burden my mom. So we have some discussions, like normal people, just to get on the same page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

Just proves the family isn’t close and doesn’t talk to each other or they all would have known in advance.

Um no if someone says they are hosting Thanksgiving that means the traditional meal unless explicitly stated. And if you said salmon I’d say no thanks and we’ll see you another time.

If it never came up in the weeks prior to Thanksgiving then the family isn’t talking. We had numerous conversations with my in-laws about turkey size, which recipes we were using, who was bringing what, etc.

That’s how normal families do it.

No, it depends. When my mom hosts, we have our assignments but she wants to do it her way and there is no discussion or need to discuss—she does our things and we bring our assignments.

When my sister, brother or I host, there is more discussion.

Your way is not the only way, dear.

PP said normal. Your family is not normal.

NP and have a similar scenario. We talked through it, once, years ago on how it would look if my mom hosts. Then it’s like, “Same plan?” Same plan. When my mom hosts, she does almost everything, but my family brings pies and an appetizer, my brother brings wine and homemade mac and cheese, and my sister brings sodas, a chocolate cake, and rolls from our favorite bakery near her house.

There’s no need to pick over and plan. We’re a well-oiled machine! There’s more discussion when someone else hosts. I get that some people like to plan and plot and yip and yap, and good for them. But having a plan and being like, “Same plan? Got it!,” is fine. It’s weird to think otherwise, just because you’re a Big Talkin’ Planner who acts like making a roast turkey and some sides is harder and more involved than it actually is.

And has your family ever bagged the traditional meal altogether in favor of salmon? Didn’t think so.

Any normal family with a normal functioning relationship would discuss a major menu change in advance. This year MIL did not want to make the sweet potato casserole. So she let everyone know and said if anyone really wanted it they should make it. And someone volunteered. This is how healthy, functioning, non-manipulative, non-toxic relationships work. I think some of you don’t know what that looks like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

Just proves the family isn’t close and doesn’t talk to each other or they all would have known in advance.

Um no if someone says they are hosting Thanksgiving that means the traditional meal unless explicitly stated. And if you said salmon I’d say no thanks and we’ll see you another time.

If it never came up in the weeks prior to Thanksgiving then the family isn’t talking. We had numerous conversations with my in-laws about turkey size, which recipes we were using, who was bringing what, etc.

That’s how normal families do it.

No, it depends. When my mom hosts, we have our assignments but she wants to do it her way and there is no discussion or need to discuss—she does our things and we bring our assignments.

When my sister, brother or I host, there is more discussion.

Your way is not the only way, dear.

PP said normal. Your family is not normal.

NP and have a similar scenario. We talked through it, once, years ago on how it would look if my mom hosts. Then it’s like, “Same plan?” Same plan. When my mom hosts, she does almost everything, but my family brings pies and an appetizer, my brother brings wine and homemade mac and cheese, and my sister brings sodas, a chocolate cake, and rolls from our favorite bakery near her house.

There’s no need to pick over and plan. We’re a well-oiled machine! There’s more discussion when someone else hosts. I get that some people like to plan and plot and yip and yap, and good for them. But having a plan and being like, “Same plan? Got it!,” is fine. It’s weird to think otherwise, just because you’re a Big Talkin’ Planner who acts like making a roast turkey and some sides is harder and more involved than it actually is.

In the original scenario, wouldn't the "same plan?" query be enough to prompt the host to say something about a new plan? Nobody is saying that you have to dissect the plan in detail every year, but to not even realize that there's a whole new menu lined up is weird. It's almost like the host was intentionally hiding it and wanted to surprise everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

Just proves the family isn’t close and doesn’t talk to each other or they all would have known in advance.

Um no if someone says they are hosting Thanksgiving that means the traditional meal unless explicitly stated. And if you said salmon I’d say no thanks and we’ll see you another time.

If it never came up in the weeks prior to Thanksgiving then the family isn’t talking. We had numerous conversations with my in-laws about turkey size, which recipes we were using, who was bringing what, etc.

That’s how normal families do it.

No, it depends. When my mom hosts, we have our assignments but she wants to do it her way and there is no discussion or need to discuss—she does our things and we bring our assignments.

When my sister, brother or I host, there is more discussion.

Your way is not the only way, dear.

PP said normal. Your family is not normal.

NP and have a similar scenario. We talked through it, once, years ago on how it would look if my mom hosts. Then it’s like, “Same plan?” Same plan. When my mom hosts, she does almost everything, but my family brings pies and an appetizer, my brother brings wine and homemade mac and cheese, and my sister brings sodas, a chocolate cake, and rolls from our favorite bakery near her house.

There’s no need to pick over and plan. We’re a well-oiled machine! There’s more discussion when someone else hosts. I get that some people like to plan and plot and yip and yap, and good for them. But having a plan and being like, “Same plan? Got it!,” is fine. It’s weird to think otherwise, just because you’re a Big Talkin’ Planner who acts like making a roast turkey and some sides is harder and more involved than it actually is.

In the original scenario, wouldn't the "same plan?" query be enough to prompt the host to say something about a new plan? Nobody is saying that you have to dissect the plan in detail every year, but to not even realize that there's a whole new menu lined up is weird. It's almost like the host was intentionally hiding it and wanted to surprise everyone.

No one, including this poster, has indicated they didn’t think the mother in law’s actions were strange - the whole theme of the thread is what was weird about your thanksgiving. But what I and other posters have taken issue with is the blaming of the rest of the family for mother in law’s new decision which she didn’t share with anyone else.

My family also does not spend weeks pre-clearing menu choices with each other, especially for a holiday where it’s usually safe to assume that the traditional choices would be served. I ask what I can bring, not what is the entire menu.

[Anonymous]

Salmon poster here Lotta feedback- I don’t even think mine is close to the worst on this thread 😂.

MIL or whoever hosts plans the menu, the rest of us are just told what to bring. In this case, I asked several times and was told to bring dessert. Fwiw, I didn’t pre-clear my pie flavors with MIL or anyone else in the family 😜. (although if I had decided to just bring watermelon and berry trifle, I would have alerted MIL ahead of time that I was “over” thanksgiving desserts in case she wanted to pick up a pumpkin pie 😂)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband does long good byes. Knowing this, and since it was late and we were last remaining guests, I put on my jacket and plopped down on a couch to watch football (when my husband said it was time to go). 30 minutes later my husband is saying "hey it's late we really need to get home kids are getting cranky come on wheres your coat..." Directed at me. I asked if he was ready, "yes I said we were leaving 30 minutes ago." So I got up, got the kids to the front door and guess what? We stood there for 20 more minutes while dh talked to people.

There's no way to beat the long-goodbye people.

My husband does this wherever he is; I give him a 30 minute window before the crankiness sets in!

BS - get the kids, get in all in the car and wait.

I'm one of the people who has a husband who has long goodbyes. What's the difference between waiting in the car and waiting on the couch? He won't hurry just because we're in the car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom proudly told me on Monday that she just finished cooking the turkey so she can re-heat it for us Thursday.

I feel your pain. I am looking at a frozen turkey sitting on the counter. It was fully defrosted LAST YEAR and then REFROZEN when a contingent family did not make it up from the twin cities. This is an 18 pounder. Early tomorrow morning, crimes against nature will be committed in order to finish the thawing. This is one of many attempts on our lives that have/will occur this Thanksgiving. I’m going to go eat a snickers bar and have a Bloody Mary. They don’t believe in food allergies or food safety here, but they believe in large supplies of junk food and nobody monitors your drinking. #winnng

RED PLASTIC BIN IN THE FREEZER LADY PLEASE COME BACK

No, no, no, no, NO. Tell you don't have children who will be eating that killer turkey!

There are children here but none on my watch will eat the Turkey. All of the sane adults work together to protect ourselves and the innocents. The perpetrators don’t get sick. I don’t know if they’ve evolved to have cast iron stomachs or if it’s the alcohol (I’m indulging, not judging, but they drink SO MUCH).

My mother is 97, lives in her home on her own and still drives. She's never had cancer, has normal cholesterol etc. She is a unicorn according to my internist, who doesn't believe she exists. She still gardens and does stuff on her own. She has never been a person concerned with eating healthy foods. She has always eaten a lot of vegetables and few sweets but she's Southern and loves her Southern food. She's never had a heart attack, heart issues, or strokes. She lives in the hot South. She leaves food out all the time. We just visited and she made sausage and biscuits several mornings and they sat out all day. We didn't realize and the first day, most of us had stomach issues. I'm pretty certain she has poisoned herself so many times with every possible food borne illness that it has killed anything that can kill her.

My mom is only 78 but is like this (and also a Southerner). She doesn’t wash her hands, leaves food out, eats old leftovers; licks the spoon, doesn’t stay away from sick people, etc. and never gets sick. There have been holidays when every single one of us catches a stomach bug, she is right in the mix without taking any precaution, and she is the only one who avoids it. My BIL says she’s like a cockroach.

This whole generation is like this. I virtually never saw my mother wash her hands. Even after using the bathroom. It’s pretty gross.

I never knew so many people of that generation had some compulsion to leave food sitting out. My mom is like another posters in that she thinks putting the food in the fridge is something bad. My entire life she left food sitting out for hours. I thought it was our shameful secret.

PP here. My mother put food outside, like PPs have mentioned, and she left food sitting out on the counter for hours, or even all day, as well. I didn't even know enough to know it was a shameful secret. I know better now, but I had to get way into adulthood to learn it. If I forget anything I have cooked for even one minute beyond 2hrs without refrigerating -- it goes in the trash. Probably overcompensation, but that is what I do.

It’s crazy. It’s fine for pretty much any food to be out for a day, even overnight (but ok let’s not push it) except raw meat.

[Anonymous]

Our weird week:

FIL yells at waitstaff to bring his hot sauce NOW. He asked three times whilst she took orders from 6 ppl.

My spouse yells at him to Stop it, she just took our order.

A whole day of bickering about respecting your Father ensues

[Anonymous]

9 yo daughter goes with Dad to pick up some last minute groceries. she gets apple cider, her favorite and a treat.

FIL and MIL drink most of it and at dinner MIL pours two glasses and gives it to each of themselves, right in front of 9 yo.

9 yo looks around sad, as she realizes the whole gallon is empty somehow within one day, and she never got more than one glass and here were the last two.

MIL, the grandmother, says: “What’s wrong, are you jealous?”

All the children look at each other like they saw a witch.

[Anonymous]

11 yo got called a Lone Wolf by her paternal grandmother on Saturday, and a Dark Horse on Sunday.

9 yo was merely called a chatterbox.

Guess they made up after MIL drank a gallon of apple cider all by herself.

[Anonymous]

And folks, don’t forget to always travel with your lote DIY bidet sprinkling can!