What's weird about where you are staying - Thanksgiving 2024 edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was was dressed in casual, jeans, kakis normal casual Thanksgiving attire. Host's made their exaggerated entrance wearing a sleeveless floor length gown (it's 20 degrees in the midwest) and her husband a suit. (She usually carries her husbands balls in her purse so he has no say even though he's the smart one). They are legends in their own mind. This spans decades.

The constant bragging about their daughter making the entire meal herself was too much."Everything was made from scratch." "She's SOOO GIFTED." And how tired she was getting exhausted hugs from her siblings. WE WERE ALL HUNGRY. There was turkey, rolls, and cranberry that's pretty much it. There wasn't much too eat or too many choices really. But host has an eating disorder so the rest have to starve too.

My SIL is a dress-up-for-thanksgiving gal, too. Sequined dress and tights, she made BIL wear a suit and tie and dress shoes. These are people who work blue collar jobs, think pharmacy tech and landscaper.

She actually had the audacity to ask DH "why are you dressed so sloppy? It's thanksgiving!" DH was wearing a nice flannel shirt and jeans and moccasins, at thanksgiving, in his own mother's house, where nobody dresses up. DH said, "well I wear a tie to work, so I'd rather be comfortable at home."

You know you’re coming off as really snobbish, right? Maybe people with more casual jobs like the idea of dressing up for the holidays. Some families do. I mean, she was rude to chastise your DH for being “sloppy,” but you sound classist.

These people are just going for the social media post and are annoyed their relative is going to mess up their photo OP. I’m from a very old school southern family and no one wears sequins to Thanksgiving dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Wow! Your Sil's hissy fit wasn't great but that was a jerk move on your mom's part. I would have been really disappointed too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

Just proves the family isn’t close and doesn’t talk to each other or they all would have known in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

Just proves the family isn’t close and doesn’t talk to each other or they all would have known in advance.

Um no if someone says they are hosting Thanksgiving that means the traditional meal unless explicitly stated. And if you said salmon I’d say no thanks and we’ll see you another time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Wow! Your Sil's hissy fit wasn't great but that was a jerk move on your mom's part. I would have been really disappointed too.

Of course, MIL should have said something. Totally wrong not to. But as someone who dislikes the traditional menu, that sounds fantastic to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

Just proves the family isn’t close and doesn’t talk to each other or they all would have known in advance.

Um no if someone says they are hosting Thanksgiving that means the traditional meal unless explicitly stated. And if you said salmon I’d say no thanks and we’ll see you another time.

If it never came up in the weeks prior to Thanksgiving then the family isn’t talking. We had numerous conversations with my in-laws about turkey size, which recipes we were using, who was bringing what, etc.

That’s how normal families do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

Just proves the family isn’t close and doesn’t talk to each other or they all would have known in advance.

Um no if someone says they are hosting Thanksgiving that means the traditional meal unless explicitly stated. And if you said salmon I’d say no thanks and we’ll see you another time.

If it never came up in the weeks prior to Thanksgiving then the family isn’t talking. We had numerous conversations with my in-laws about turkey size, which recipes we were using, who was bringing what, etc.

That’s how normal families do it.

No, it depends. When my mom hosts, we have our assignments but she wants to do it her way and there is no discussion or need to discuss—she does our things and we bring our assignments.

When my sister, brother or I host, there is more discussion.

Your way is not the only way, dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

Just proves the family isn’t close and doesn’t talk to each other or they all would have known in advance.

Um no if someone says they are hosting Thanksgiving that means the traditional meal unless explicitly stated. And if you said salmon I’d say no thanks and we’ll see you another time.

If it never came up in the weeks prior to Thanksgiving then the family isn’t talking. We had numerous conversations with my in-laws about turkey size, which recipes we were using, who was bringing what, etc.

That’s how normal families do it.

No, it depends. When my mom hosts, we have our assignments but she wants to do it her way and there is no discussion or need to discuss—she does our things and we bring our assignments.

When my sister, brother or I host, there is more discussion.

Your way is not the only way, dear.

I’m the PP who had salmon for thanksgiving Yes, this is how my MIL does it, and I was assigned pies and SIL was assigned apps and drinks. We have a very “traditional” thanksgiving, there is no need to discuss dishes, and SIL and I asked her several times leading up to thanksgiving how else we could help, and she declined (nor did she say in any of those times that we werent having an actual thanksgiving meal!). MIL is a good cook (and is very controlling when she hosts anything, even non holiday meals), and she usually doesnt want you to bring anything other maybe dessert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

Just proves the family isn’t close and doesn’t talk to each other or they all would have known in advance.

Um no if someone says they are hosting Thanksgiving that means the traditional meal unless explicitly stated. And if you said salmon I’d say no thanks and we’ll see you another time.

If it never came up in the weeks prior to Thanksgiving then the family isn’t talking. We had numerous conversations with my in-laws about turkey size, which recipes we were using, who was bringing what, etc.

That’s how normal families do it.

No, it depends. When my mom hosts, we have our assignments but she wants to do it her way and there is no discussion or need to discuss—she does our things and we bring our assignments.

When my sister, brother or I host, there is more discussion.

Your way is not the only way, dear.

PP said normal. Your family is not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was was dressed in casual, jeans, kakis normal casual Thanksgiving attire. Host's made their exaggerated entrance wearing a sleeveless floor length gown (it's 20 degrees in the midwest) and her husband a suit. (She usually carries her husbands balls in her purse so he has no say even though he's the smart one). They are legends in their own mind. This spans decades.

The constant bragging about their daughter making the entire meal herself was too much."Everything was made from scratch." "She's SOOO GIFTED." And how tired she was getting exhausted hugs from her siblings. WE WERE ALL HUNGRY. There was turkey, rolls, and cranberry that's pretty much it. There wasn't much too eat or too many choices really. But host has an eating disorder so the rest have to starve too.

My SIL is a dress-up-for-thanksgiving gal, too. Sequined dress and tights, she made BIL wear a suit and tie and dress shoes. These are people who work blue collar jobs, think pharmacy tech and landscaper.

She actually had the audacity to ask DH "why are you dressed so sloppy? It's thanksgiving!" DH was wearing a nice flannel shirt and jeans and moccasins, at thanksgiving, in his own mother's house, where nobody dresses up. DH said, "well I wear a tie to work, so I'd rather be comfortable at home."

You know you’re coming off as really snobbish, right? Maybe people with more casual jobs like the idea of dressing up for the holidays. Some families do. I mean, she was rude to chastise your DH for being “sloppy,” but you sound classist.

Better to be classist than to be classless enough to badger someone in their own home about their sartorial choices.

DH didn't say that to be mean. She asked him why he was dressed "so sloppy" and he answered honestly.

Throughout the dinner, SIL made a ton of comments about how MIL was doing everything wrong and needed to do things like "use a classier tablecloth" (she meant buy a shiny paper one from party store vs heirloom tablecloth) and how she should have just used all disposable paper products for serving/eating instead of the fancy family china plates, and how MIL should just pick up all the food from a caterer next time instead of "wasting all day cooking" (MIL takes a lot of pride in her cooking and it's good.)

I don't know if it's a social class issue or a SIL issue--I cannot imagine showing up as a guest in someone's home and criticizing the heck out over everything in a super concern-trolling kind of way.

I think it’s probably just awkwardness and a weird class thing. I grew up poor but our family was of the background and era where you could and did save for beautiful linens, cooked really well from scratch, and spent the little money you did have on holidays and hosting- so things like serving ware, silver, and china were used and considered a way of sharing what nice things you had with everyone who came through your door. My grandparents’ goal was always to save for the nicest thing that could last the longest. But so much of their leisure time and now ours is spent on upkeep, maintenance, caretaking, and the extra effort needed to use and clean special things.

My SIL grew up with much less and was poor in a different way. Her family really aspires to conveniences after a hardscrabble life. Disposable things, new pretty things every year from wal-mart and Amazon, and not having to do dishes is considered a worthy and aspirational goal. They’ve had to move a lot and had some houses wrecked by various disasters and crises, so having nice things to pass down isn’t really a positive- it’s more of an overwhelming burden.

Both perspectives are just a different way of looking at having more money and leisure, but it’s jarring if you’re coming from one background or the other and experiencing it for the first time. I don’t think either side can see eye to eye on this because it’s so personal and complicated.

Thank you for taking the time to write this out. My family is the former and my husband's is the latter and I have always found it very wasteful. I'm going to look at it in a new, kinder way - truly appreciate this insight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Wow! Your Sil's hissy fit wasn't great but that was a jerk move on your mom's part. I would have been really disappointed too.

Of course, MIL should have said something. Totally wrong not to. But as someone who dislikes the traditional menu, that sounds fantastic to me.

Omg - I would be thrilled. But even if people were disappointed, I do not get the temper tantrum. It is just food.

[Anonymous]

Minor but in-laws are an Asian food almost exclusively household. I have to remember to pack every single spice and such if I want to cook. Earlier in our marriage, I brought something that needed to be baked only to learn the oven didn’t work and was for storage only!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was was dressed in casual, jeans, kakis normal casual Thanksgiving attire. Host's made their exaggerated entrance wearing a sleeveless floor length gown (it's 20 degrees in the midwest) and her husband a suit. (She usually carries her husbands balls in her purse so he has no say even though he's the smart one). They are legends in their own mind. This spans decades.

The constant bragging about their daughter making the entire meal herself was too much."Everything was made from scratch." "She's SOOO GIFTED." And how tired she was getting exhausted hugs from her siblings. WE WERE ALL HUNGRY. There was turkey, rolls, and cranberry that's pretty much it. There wasn't much too eat or too many choices really. But host has an eating disorder so the rest have to starve too.

My SIL is a dress-up-for-thanksgiving gal, too. Sequined dress and tights, she made BIL wear a suit and tie and dress shoes. These are people who work blue collar jobs, think pharmacy tech and landscaper.

She actually had the audacity to ask DH "why are you dressed so sloppy? It's thanksgiving!" DH was wearing a nice flannel shirt and jeans and moccasins, at thanksgiving, in his own mother's house, where nobody dresses up. DH said, "well I wear a tie to work, so I'd rather be comfortable at home."

You know you’re coming off as really snobbish, right? Maybe people with more casual jobs like the idea of dressing up for the holidays. Some families do. I mean, she was rude to chastise your DH for being “sloppy,” but you sound classist.

Better to be classist than to be classless enough to badger someone in their own home about their sartorial choices.

DH didn't say that to be mean. She asked him why he was dressed "so sloppy" and he answered honestly.

Throughout the dinner, SIL made a ton of comments about how MIL was doing everything wrong and needed to do things like "use a classier tablecloth" (she meant buy a shiny paper one from party store vs heirloom tablecloth) and how she should have just used all disposable paper products for serving/eating instead of the fancy family china plates, and how MIL should just pick up all the food from a caterer next time instead of "wasting all day cooking" (MIL takes a lot of pride in her cooking and it's good.)

I don't know if it's a social class issue or a SIL issue--I cannot imagine showing up as a guest in someone's home and criticizing the heck out over everything in a super concern-trolling kind of way.

I think it’s probably just awkwardness and a weird class thing. I grew up poor but our family was of the background and era where you could and did save for beautiful linens, cooked really well from scratch, and spent the little money you did have on holidays and hosting- so things like serving ware, silver, and china were used and considered a way of sharing what nice things you had with everyone who came through your door. My grandparents’ goal was always to save for the nicest thing that could last the longest. But so much of their leisure time and now ours is spent on upkeep, maintenance, caretaking, and the extra effort needed to use and clean special things.

My SIL grew up with much less and was poor in a different way. Her family really aspires to conveniences after a hardscrabble life. Disposable things, new pretty things every year from wal-mart and Amazon, and not having to do dishes is considered a worthy and aspirational goal. They’ve had to move a lot and had some houses wrecked by various disasters and crises, so having nice things to pass down isn’t really a positive- it’s more of an overwhelming burden.

Both perspectives are just a different way of looking at having more money and leisure, but it’s jarring if you’re coming from one background or the other and experiencing it for the first time. I don’t think either side can see eye to eye on this because it’s so personal and complicated.

Thank you for taking the time to write this out. My family is the former and my husband's is the latter and I have always found it very wasteful. I'm going to look at it in a new, kinder way - truly appreciate this insight.

Thank you for saying that. It took me many years to see my SIL (brother’s wife) in a different way. My mom has always been really critical of her behind her back and I feel badly for not sticking up for her when we were younger, so now posts like this are a tiny part of the penance I need to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIl insisted on hosting (we alternate years celebrating with DH’s family and mine, we always host when it’s my family, but MIL or SIL like to host on their years). MIL insisted no one show up until an exact set time (like a PP’s mother).

Upon arrival, we were immediately hustled to the dining room for dinner. Dinner was - salmon and roasted potatoes and asparagus.

When asked what happened to all of the/our traditional Thanksgiving dishes, she said she “just doesn’t feel like cooking Thanksgiving foods any longer.”

SIL (MIL’s 42 year old daughter) pitched a screaming and crying fit that she would have hosted had she known we wouldn’t be served Thanksgiving dishes, and went into her childhood bedroom to sulk.

The rest of SIL’s family, my family and FIL sat at the table, partly dumbfounded at the food on the table and partly frozen in place listening to MIL and SIL scream at each other through the bedroom door.

On a bright note, the apple and pumpkin pies I brought were a hit!

Team SIL. WTF was MIL thinking? Very selfish on her part.

This has been hotly debated in past years. Yes the host can serve what they want, but for Thanksgiving it is essential to give warning if they will not be serving "Thanksgiving". It was settled and is DCUM canon. MIL was wrong for not providing this info.

Just proves the family isn’t close and doesn’t talk to each other or they all would have known in advance.

Um no if someone says they are hosting Thanksgiving that means the traditional meal unless explicitly stated. And if you said salmon I’d say no thanks and we’ll see you another time.

If it never came up in the weeks prior to Thanksgiving then the family isn’t talking. We had numerous conversations with my in-laws about turkey size, which recipes we were using, who was bringing what, etc.

That’s how normal families do it.

That sounds tedious. We have never pre-discussed turkey size in my NORMAL family - the host decides that along with where they are buying it and how they are cooking it. Ditto the sides although my sibs and I chip in to each make some sides, but no one pre-screens recipes or whatever. The host hosts and makes most menu decisions without needing to consult with others.