Saying "no thank you" to toddlers

[Anonymous]

I've noticed a lot of moms I know say "no thank you" when their toddler does something they shouldn't i.e. Throwing toys, hitting, just misbehaving in general. I'm not judging or trying to be snarky but genuinely curious what this is about. Is there a reason to add the "thank you" instead of just saying "no?"

[Anonymous]

My nanny says "no, sir!" or "no ma'am!" (we're in Georgia). I think it's just a way to say no a little nicer and a little longer. Some "no"s are because it's something you don't want them to ruin, or it's not their turn... so maybe you want it to be softer than the "no" you'd use for playing with the electrical socket.

[Anonymous]

Preschool teachers do it a lot. Personally, I think it's dumb because it's not how we really talk. I think the idea is to sound less rude and to encourage the kud to copy and be polite, rather than shouting no all the time (which the toddler will do anyway). I don't do it, but I see the logic. Just seems like an irritating phrasing to me.

[Anonymous]

I do it to be polite. I prefers toddler to say no thank you to me, so I model the same behavior for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Preschool teachers do it a lot. Personally, I think it's dumb because it's not how we really talk. I think the idea is to sound less rude and to encourage the kud to copy and be polite, rather than shouting no all the time (which the toddler will do anyway). I don't do it, but I see the logic. Just seems like an irritating phrasing to me.

Op here- this is what confuses me- it's not how we talk so it just didn't make sense to me but now I understand that it's just a polite way of saying no. Just seems unnatural to say no thank you when my DD throws a ball at my face as if I had rhe option to opt out of getting hit in the face

[Anonymous]

I think it's dumb too. My DD knows to say "no thank you" if something is offered to her that she wants to reject. But if I ask if she's going somewhere I don't expect her to say "no thank you". That would be stupid.

[Anonymous]

I've heard it a lot too and think it sounds stupid. I like teaching them to be polite but this doesn't seem like a good way to model polite language since you are using the language in a way people don't usually talk, which makes it weird for the kid. Instead of saying "no thank you" when a kid does something they shouldn't, why not instead say "no running, please" or "please do not throw toys" or whatever. Makes more sense to me as a way to teach politeness while still letting the kid know not to do something.

[Anonymous]

I say No...then if they stop the behavior I add thank you...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've heard it a lot too and think it sounds stupid. I like teaching them to be polite but this doesn't seem like a good way to model polite language since you are using the language in a way people don't usually talk, which makes it weird for the kid. Instead of saying "no thank you" when a kid does something they shouldn't, why not instead say "no running, please" or "please do not throw toys" or whatever. Makes more sense to me as a way to teach politeness while still letting the kid know not to do something.

+1 This is exactly how you should phrase it, IMO!

[Anonymous]

I am from the Midwest, and we really talk like this all of the time. Do people really not say "no thank you" on the east coast?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am from the Midwest, and we really talk like this all of the time. Do people really not say "no thank you" on the east coast?

Um, no, you don't. I'm from the Midwest, too, and I don't say, "No thank you," when someone tries to hit me in the face or steal my things. I say, "No! Stop it!" Maybe if I'm feeling polite, I say, "Please stop it!" I say, "No, thank you," when someone asks me if I'd like a glass of water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am from the Midwest, and we really talk like this all of the time. Do people really not say "no thank you" on the east coast?

Of course we say "no, thank you" when someone kindly offers us something we don't need or want at the time. We don't say "no, thank you" when someone's stepping on our toe or throwing a rock at us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've heard it a lot too and think it sounds stupid. I like teaching them to be polite but this doesn't seem like a good way to model polite language since you are using the language in a way people don't usually talk, which makes it weird for the kid. Instead of saying "no thank you" when a kid does something they shouldn't, why not instead say "no running, please" or "please do not throw toys" or whatever. Makes more sense to me as a way to teach politeness while still letting the kid know not to do something.

+1 This is exactly how you should phrase it, IMO!

That doesn't put a happy, positive spin on it. "No thank you" works for the people who want to gently correct.

I think it sounds ridiculous myself. For the PP from the South, no we don't say "No thank you" when someone is doing something they shouldn't. We say "No thank you" when something is offered that we don't want, or aren't interested in.

[Anonymous]

^ ^ Sorry, Midwest not South. And I see others already answered.

I'm laughing thinking of saying "No thank you" when someone stomps on my toe!!

[Anonymous]

Years ago in college, I worked at a daycare over the summer. My 2nd summer, the director told us we could no longer say, "No" to a child. Most teachers began saying, "No thank you" instead, which is where I picked it up. I cringe every time I hear myself say it.