Why are so many women here so angry with / resentful toward women who stay home?

[Anonymous]

Don't let my inherited wealth confuse and disappoint you. Really, life is so short, I'd hate to think of you being so constantly confused and disappointed with the millions of women who choose to stay home.

[Anonymous]

As the OP, I have to say that this thread has exceeded all expectations regarding how angry and resentful some women can be toward women who stay home. Well done, DCUM!

[Anonymous]

I used to work at a very rewarding, high pace and well paying job. I did very well. Then we had a baby, and I put her into a nice daycare and went part time. But the hours didn't really slow down, I just did some of it remotely for less pay. It soon became apparent that in order to maintain my hours and for my husband to maintain his (he did not have the option to go part time) we would need a nanny or an any pair and I couldn't do it and this is why. My two younger siblings were severely molested for years by a member of our extended family who is now in jail for 70 years. This man ruined their lives, my brother still can't get his life together and my sister weighs 300+ pounds, and that's just the start of he issues. It's heartbreaking, infuriating, and all around terrible. I feel incredibly responsible still today because I didn't know and was in college then and wasn't around to protect them. Yes, I've been in therapy for this. And no I am not a hyper helicopter parent. But, when presented with the opportunity to stay at home, I took it. Judge me all you want. But I will never regret my decision. If you have lived through what happened in my family you would understand. But I don't tell anyone, not even my kids know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to work at a very rewarding, high pace and well paying job. I did very well. Then we had a baby, and I put her into a nice daycare and went part time. But the hours didn't really slow down, I just did some of it remotely for less pay. It soon became apparent that in order to maintain my hours and for my husband to maintain his (he did not have the option to go part time) we would need a nanny or an any pair and I couldn't do it and this is why. My two younger siblings were severely molested for years by a member of our extended family who is now in jail for 70 years. This man ruined their lives, my brother still can't get his life together and my sister weighs 300+ pounds, and that's just the start of he issues. It's heartbreaking, infuriating, and all around terrible. I feel incredibly responsible still today because I didn't know and was in college then and wasn't around to protect them. Yes, I've been in therapy for this. And no I am not a hyper helicopter parent. But, when presented with the opportunity to stay at home, I took it. Judge me all you want. But I will never regret my decision. If you have lived through what happened in my family you would understand. But I don't tell anyone, not even my kids know.

+1. That's one of the biggest problems. People who were abused or are close to someone who was abused just can't trust a stranger with their child. I prefer my mother/husband take care of the child if I'm unavailable. I don't trust strangers with my baby. It's just not going to happen except in rare situations.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Seems rather straight forward. I left my highly successful career to stay at home and care for my family. It is the most important and underrated job. Having said that, I am secure in who I am and don't really care if you like my role or not. It is my choice and very empowering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the OP, I have to say that this thread has exceeded all expectations regarding how angry and resentful some women can be toward women who stay home. Well done, DCUM!

Nope just angry at you trolling DCUM with your inane thread. Truly puzzled as to why you wasted your time to start and monitor this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to work at a very rewarding, high pace and well paying job. I did very well. Then we had a baby, and I put her into a nice daycare and went part time. But the hours didn't really slow down, I just did some of it remotely for less pay. It soon became apparent that in order to maintain my hours and for my husband to maintain his (he did not have the option to go part time) we would need a nanny or an any pair and I couldn't do it and this is why. My two younger siblings were severely molested for years by a member of our extended family who is now in jail for 70 years. This man ruined their lives, my brother still can't get his life together and my sister weighs 300+ pounds, and that's just the start of he issues. It's heartbreaking, infuriating, and all around terrible. I feel incredibly responsible still today because I didn't know and was in college then and wasn't around to protect them. Yes, I've been in therapy for this. And no I am not a hyper helicopter parent. But, when presented with the opportunity to stay at home, I took it. Judge me all you want. But I will never regret my decision. If you have lived through what happened in my family you would understand. But I don't tell anyone, not even my kids know.

+1. That's one of the biggest problems. People who were abused or are close to someone who was abused just can't trust a stranger with their child. I prefer my mother/husband take care of the child if I'm unavailable. I don't trust strangers with my baby. It's just not going to happen except in rare situations.

For every nanny or daycare hotel story, it would be easy to find a PPD or molesting father story.

As for spectrum of risk to your kids, driving them to your mommy and me yoga class is far more dangerous than when they are in daycare.

[Anonymous]

You walk your children to their daycare every day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You walk your children to their daycare every day?

Actually yes. But I'm saying people need to evaluate the real risks they face. Those PPs are thankfully in therapy but the anxiety they are trying to spread is based on unrealistic evaluations.

[Anonymous]

And the anxiety you are trying to spread is......???? Breathing city air or being subjected to urban crime- also a risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have absolutely no problems with SAHM. I grew up in a home with a SAHM and I know that I turned out the way I did cause she was home. I am not married, no kids and great job. My mom did have issues later, divorced had to find job, little education so low paying job. Now in her 80's she lives on SS and me and siblings help out the best we can financially. So to the SAHM I say, do it but make sure you are covered if something goes south in the future. Big income husband with good lawyer can leave you penniless with minimal child support if it is assumed you can work. Stash a little away for a rainy day. If it never comes spending on something fun. Just take care that you are covered under ALL circumstances

None of this shit would've happened if that dear mother of yours had bothered to get even a clerical job . Hence, the confusion and disappointment towards SAHMS

We definitely need women to work. The government can make it mandatory to get all women in buses to take them to work in factories, power plants and farms. Babies and children will be left in day orphanages. Choice should be eliminated. Bring back soviet Russia and communist China.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You walk your children to their daycare every day?

Actually yes. But I'm saying people need to evaluate the real risks they face. Those PPs are thankfully in therapy but the anxiety they are trying to spread is based on unrealistic evaluations.

14:01 PP here. I answered OPs question, I don't spread risk. And to say I am spreading risk, you can go kiss off for all I care what random peoooke think of me. The only people that know of the abuse is my DH and my family. I tell no one, for many reasons (shame and embarrassment of what my family went through is a start). Many people here are quick to judge SAHM, they're lazy, they are selfish, they just want to wear yoga pants, they have no ambition, etc. did you ever for once stop to consider their real life experience may be a reason? That I don't want to introduce into my home a person who will live with us, or spend an enormous period of time, without me being there, because my relative did that and raped my siblings. More than once. For years. Does that make you feel better?


I put my kids in daycare, I was very happy with it. But there are several people there, workers and parents. My situation requires someone after 6pm, and their odd hours only a nanny or any pair could do. No. Not for me. I also don't want to spend only a few hours a week with my kids. So I quit my job and have no regrets. I hope you never find yourself in my shoes.

[Anonymous]

Any of you can opt out of mommy wars. Why anyone would choose to care enough to get upset is a mystery.

[Anonymous]

It's called the right to vote bitch. We're upset you fools are complacent in the patriarchy.

It's such a mystery we want to drink at the same water fountain. Go get a blowout and a mani/pedi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's called the right to vote bitch. We're upset you fools are complacent in the patriarchy.

It's such a mystery we want to drink at the same water fountain. Go get a blowout and a mani/pedi.

+1000