Why are so many women here so angry with / resentful toward women who stay home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

This is silly given we are all living on someone's generosity to live our lives. Whether it's your corporation paying your paycheck, your inheritance from your parents, your husband's paycheck, the bank providing you with a mortgage....we are all dependent on someone else. Not to mention that your husband is entirely dependent on you to be pregnant and give birth to any children of his. Would you criticize him for that?

Also many women grew up in secure homes and feel completely comfortable relying on their husband. Many spouses view their assets as joint and they are a partnership. My dad never cared if my mom worked or not and they have been happily married for years. My dad very much valued my mom's role in raising children. The fact you don't seem to value this yourself and seem to only value typical male accomplishments speaks volumes about yourself and how you feel deep down about women.

Fwiw I will be working when I have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

Not relying on someone's generosity. I, along with my husband, decided together how to structure our lives. If you can't trust your spouse, you need to reevaluate your relationship.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

This is silly given we are all living on someone's generosity to live our lives. Whether it's your corporation paying your paycheck, your inheritance from your parents, your husband's paycheck, the bank providing you with a mortgage....we are all dependent on someone else. Not to mention that your husband is entirely dependent on you to be pregnant and give birth to any children of his. Would you criticize him for that?

Also many women grew up in secure homes and feel completely comfortable relying on their husband. Many spouses view their assets as joint and they are a partnership. My dad never cared if my mom worked or not and they have been happily married for years. My dad very much valued my mom's role in raising children. The fact you don't seem to value this yourself and seem to only value typical male accomplishments speaks volumes about yourself and how you feel deep down about women.

Fwiw I will be working when I have children.

Wonderful points, both on the fact that everyone depends on someone else on some level and on the fact that a secure woman in a secure marriage will be valued and will value herself whether she works inside or outside the home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I literally see women here saying women who stay home are traitors to womanhood. Is DC really this stressful?

Even from women who swear they'd never stay at home, I've never seen any comment remotely like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

Not relying on someone's generosity. I, along with my husband, decided together how to structure our lives. If you can't trust your spouse, you need to reevaluate your relationship.

+1. My wife SAH, I WOH. We're a team, money pot and all.

[Anonymous]

Because they want their paper pushing desk jockey job to feel more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

This is silly given we are all living on someone's generosity to live our lives. Whether it's your corporation paying your paycheck, your inheritance from your parents, your husband's paycheck, the bank providing you with a mortgage....we are all dependent on someone else. Not to mention that your husband is entirely dependent on you to be pregnant and give birth to any children of his. Would you criticize him for that?

Also many women grew up in secure homes and feel completely comfortable relying on their husband. Many spouses view their assets as joint and they are a partnership. My dad never cared if my mom worked or not and they have been happily married for years. My dad very much valued my mom's role in raising children. The fact you don't seem to value this yourself and seem to only value typical male accomplishments speaks volumes about yourself and how you feel deep down about women.

Fwiw I will be working when I have children.

Wonderful points, both on the fact that everyone depends on someone else on some level and on the fact that a secure woman in a secure marriage will be valued and will value herself whether she works inside or outside the home.

I don't understand how a woman depending on a husband for his paycheck is any better or worse than a man depending on his wife to give birth to his children and provide childcare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

Interesting comments. Most of the SAHMs I know here in the DC area became parents later in life and already had successful careers - and made big financial contributions to the family - before taking time off of work to spend more time with their children. And many plan to go back to work in some capacity.

Can't swing a cat around here without hitting a lawyer or doctor turned stay at home mom. Maybe PP lives in the boonies somewhere.

Exactly. And the ones who don't go back to full time work, usually are involved in serious volunteer work or start businesses or become free lance writers, write a book, day trade their sizable wealth, or something like that. Plenty for their kids to look up to. Two great careers and got to SAH full time for a good chunk of the kids' childhood? That's feminism at work.

[Anonymous]

I'm not resentful at all. I think either option has its downsides:

1. Stay at home mom - stuck at home, not contributing to retirement, less adult interaction, dependent on husband should anything happen

2. Work out of house mom - more stressful home life and schedule, less time spent with children

Take your pick. I'm choosing #2 because I have a flexible schedule, a job I enjoy and I contribute over 50k a year (only 18k my contribution) to retirement.

[Anonymous]

DH and I both had white hot careers when we had kids. We could not both continue on the same path and care for our children in the way we wanted. We decided I'd SAH. 20 years later, not a single regret. People are diffent. I don't judge your choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

Some women feel devoting yourself to raising your children is doing more to make the work a better place than being a CEO or investment banker.

Just sayin'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

NP. Honey you must be dumber than a box of rocks if you can't recognize that some people don't like to work and don't like their jobs. Or you have been so sheltered in life that it's permanently damaged your brain. Open your eyes.

Do you know how much time and effort it takes to become head of NASA or a multi-millionaire CEO? Some people want to stop and smell the roses. That makes them different from you, not inferior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

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Here it is folks. Here's the crazy person who derails the thread with nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's not D.C. It's a few select women who are desperate to feel they are better than other women.

+1. Live and let live; we're all brothers and sisters in the end.

If only. Women are not always secure creatures, OP. Women don't know how to support each other like men do, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some jealous there. In the DC area, one partner has to be making a lot of money to enable the other to stay home and still maintain a nice lifestyle (nice house in a close in nabe, vacations, nice cars, pricey extracurricular activities for the kiddos, maybe private school, etc.)

To have an UMC lifestyle with a SAHP, the breadwinner has to be making 300-400k +.

On my end its less jealous and more...disbelief. I was raised to be independent and to own my own financials. When I went into my marriage I was comfortably set in a career and had two properties free-and-clear. That only helped when we made future decisions together to buy our 'dream' home. It boggles my mind that some women will rely solely on another person's generosity to live their life.

It disturbs me even further when these same women, some of them friends, were die-hard Hillary fans and very much into telling their daughters that 'this will be the first woman president, someone to look up to, someone to emulate' and yet the closest rolemodel to those daughters completely opted out of a career. How can you tell your children to aspire to be the head of NASA or a president or a multi-millionaire CEO, but you didn't bother to do anything yourself?

Not relying on someone's generosity. I, along with my husband, decided together how to structure our lives. If you can't trust your spouse, you need to reevaluate your relationship.

This.

+ 2