s/o do you judge your friends who divorce

[Anonymous]

Assuming nothing awful (abuse etc), do you have opinions on your friends that divorce? do you typically think they made their right call and are happy for them (assuming they initiated or it was mutual) or feel like they were irresponsible / didn't try hard enough etc?

Did you want to know the "why" and did that change your judgement of them?

[Anonymous]

I don't know a lot of divorced couples but it seems to me like they all had valid reasons for divorcing and are happy they made the decision to do so. Most of them are in new marriages that seem to be much happier, better fits.

[Anonymous]

Nope, I respect their decision to be happy. I only lose respect for them if they somehow cannot co-parent well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know a lot of divorced couples but it seems to me like they all had valid reasons for divorcing and are happy they made the decision to do so. Most of them are in new marriages that seem to be much happier, better fits.

That's surprising. Second marriages have a higher divorce rate.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Although at times I have judged my friend for staying with her cheating husband.

[Anonymous]

No. But I broke up with my child's mother ages ago, so ....

[Anonymous]

I judge, somewhere in there they made a wrong choice or didn't have the skills to make it work. You don't just throw away a commitment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, I respect their decision to be happy. I only lose respect for them if they somehow cannot co-parent well.

+1. I only have one couple friend who has divorced and did not judge their divorce at all, but they have handled the divorce horribly and I feel bad for their children. Their parents do not have their best interests at heart, only getting back at each other.

[Anonymous]

I am divorcing, and I think it is stupid and selfish, but my wife has changed in her mid-forties to be an unrecognizable person. I have told her I could try to work with her and she is totally checked out. No serious reasons other than she is "unhappy" and wants something different. So I would judge my own divorce!

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

No, but I do wonder why 2/3 of my divorced friends ever married the dipshit in the first place after a million red flags. I am glad they woke up and got a divorce!

[Anonymous]

No. But I wonder why -- like what happened? what was the final straw?

[Anonymous]

I did one friend who I knew was making a big mistake. A few others I can't see why they stayed with these losers, when they should have gotten divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. But I wonder why -- like what happened? what was the final straw?

One friend told me the final straw was him continuing to pay for his adult kids. Car bills, etc. behind her back. Equally straw breaking was the ex who would throw birthday parties for the grown kids and grand kids and her husband would go to her house. They fought for years over that, then after 15 years after warning him she did it because he refused to change.

Another found out his wife was sleeping with another guy. That guy's wife sent him a nice letter!

Recently another couple I know divorced because he wouldn't help with the kids. She decided she would get her free time when they were with him, and he would have to watch the kids. It worked.

[Anonymous]

I try not to, but I judge those who cheat whether they divorce or not. and I do judge those who handle it poorly as parents, in any number of ways. and those who are unrealistic about finances, blended family living, and impact on children. that's just stupidity.