A Mother's Reckoning by Susan Klebold

[Anonymous]

I'm reading now. Has anyone else read it? Any reactions?

I'm mixed. She (so far) has continued to paint herself and family in a positive light. And, I don't think she had any inkling. I also think the hatred toward her and her family was pretty vile.

That said, is it possible she didn't pick up on anything? The son led such a dual life without any signs (maybe this is discussed later and I haven't gotten to it yet). It's just so, so scary if that is the case. She said something about how she had agonized over the little things we all do: limiting TV, ensuring he ate his veggies, double checked his homework etc. and then she said, for what? She still ended up with a son as a mass murderer.

So many emotions reading this book.

[Anonymous]

No one has read this? Really?

[Anonymous]

I haven't read her book but I did read her profile in Andrew Solomon's book, "Far From the Tree."

I felt similarly. How could she not know? But it really sounds as though she and her husband were blind to his depression. He had faced psychological testing the previous year, due to another situation he got into with Harris, and wasn't found to be suicidal or homicidal. She said her relationship with him was the same as usual. I do believe she blamed herself for not realizing the social situation he was facing at school. I think she knew he was quirky but had friends.

From the profile I read, she got much more introspective and regretful after the incident vs. her husband.

[Anonymous]

I watched the 20/20 interview with her. I used to think she was in complete denial, however, there are a lot of things that sent off warning bells, but the parents of both kids did try to intervene. Harris did have a sociopathic personality and Klebold a depressive one. They definitely hid a lot from their parents.

Before Columbine, no one could imagine such a tragedy. Unfortunately, the real tragedy is that mass shootings and school shootings still keep happening. Often these shooters come from stable homes--the common denominator is GUNS. If we actually had gun control, we wouldn't have so many dead kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I watched the 20/20 interview with her. I used to think she was in complete denial, however, there are a lot of things that sent off warning bells, but the parents of both kids did try to intervene. Harris did have a sociopathic personality and Klebold a depressive one. They definitely hid a lot from their parents.

Before Columbine, no one could imagine such a tragedy. Unfortunately, the real tragedy is that mass shootings and school shootings still keep happening. Often these shooters come from stable homes--the common denominator is GUNS. If we actually had gun control, we wouldn't have so many dead kids.

I think this is the key. I saw the interview but haven't read the book yet. She absolutely didn't come across as the out of touch, distant, cold parent I thought she would be. Based on what she and others observed in her son, I don't think warning bells for suicide were going off and certainly neither she nor anyone else could have had any inkling of the massacre that was to come.

[Anonymous]

I read it and have responded to other threads (off topic) where it has been referenced

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/278596.page

It get tiring engaging in threads with people that haven't bothered to read anything about Columbine, or cite some source like a biography.com article and stand behind that information to offer their misinformed opinion.

I would love to sit down with a book club group and discuss this book, there is nobody else in the world with her insight - not even the Harris family since Eric's mental health concerns with completely different than Dylans.

[Anonymous]

I read Columbine and then read this a few weeks later. You can't help but feel for the parents. I disagree and do think there were warning signs that Dylan was troubled but not sure anyone could have predicted Columbine. There was something off putting about her tone - she claimed responsibility but also referred to his actions mainly as suicidal and not homicidal. As a mother, I don't blame her but I couldn't shake the feeling that she still didn't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read it and have responded to other threads (off topic) where it has been referenced

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/278596.page

It get tiring engaging in threads with people that haven't bothered to read anything about Columbine, or cite some source like a biography.com article and stand behind that information to offer their misinformed opinion.

I would love to sit down with a book club group and discuss this book, there is nobody else in the world with her insight - not even the Harris family since Eric's mental health concerns with completely different than Dylans.

PP, Did you read Columbine by Dave cullen?

[Anonymous]

I bet she's a Trump Supporter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read Columbine and then read this a few weeks later. You can't help but feel for the parents. I disagree and do think there were warning signs that Dylan was troubled but not sure anyone could have predicted Columbine. There was something off putting about her tone - she claimed responsibility but also referred to his actions mainly as suicidal and not homicidal. As a mother, I don't blame her but I couldn't shake the feeling that she still didn't get it.

I think she "got it" but it will always and forever be for her--how could I have let that happen, how could I have raised a kid who would do this? In the end, she wasn't the one who pulled the trigger. I think she did what was reasonable at the time as a parent. She has a lot of courage for coming forward. Most parents of mass shootings don't say anything.

No one could have predicted Columbine. And even people who sought or were receiving mental health treatment still become mass killers--James Holmes, Jared Loughner, Seung-Hui Cho. The problem is guns.

Seriously, who needs the firepower to do this:

[Anonymous]

I was also going to reference the older thread, which I commented on recently. When PP linked to it above, I started on page 1 - and realized I was the OP. It was days after Sandy Hook and attention (in the media and on DCUM) was focused on the mother.

I have not read the book. But I think that most people,fundamentally, believe that the parents were negligent - maybe not legally, but that they must have known something was wrong.

Most relatives of mass shooters avoid any public presence, for obvious reasons, but I'm glad Klebold has not. I wish other parents were more open. In this particular case, Klebold's openness contrasts sharply with Harris's silence.

I also think DCUM is rewriting history. I've seen posts that say well, was't this the first school shooting? No, it wasn't. There were school shootings before. But it was the largest to date (to be eclipsed by VA Tech) and it played out on live TV in the middle of the afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I watched the 20/20 interview with her. I used to think she was in complete denial, however, there are a lot of things that sent off warning bells, but the parents of both kids did try to intervene. Harris did have a sociopathic personality and Klebold a depressive one. They definitely hid a lot from their parents.

Before Columbine, no one could imagine such a tragedy. Unfortunately, the real tragedy is that mass shootings and school shootings still keep happening. Often these shooters come from stable homes--the common denominator is GUNS. If we actually had gun control, we wouldn't have so many dead kids.

I think this is the key. I saw the interview but haven't read the book yet. She absolutely didn't come across as the out of touch, distant, cold parent I thought she would be. Based on what she and others observed in her son, I don't think warning bells for suicide were going off and certainly neither she nor anyone else could have had any inkling of the massacre that was to come.

Like many parents, she didn't know her own child. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read it and have responded to other threads (off topic) where it has been referenced

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/278596.page

It get tiring engaging in threads with people that haven't bothered to read anything about Columbine, or cite some source like a biography.com article and stand behind that information to offer their misinformed opinion.

I would love to sit down with a book club group and discuss this book, there is nobody else in the world with her insight - not even the Harris family since Eric's mental health concerns with completely different than Dylans.

PP, Did you read Columbine by Dave cullen?

Yes, and I've read Far from the Tree (which BTW is an amazing book)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I watched the 20/20 interview with her. I used to think she was in complete denial, however, there are a lot of things that sent off warning bells, but the parents of both kids did try to intervene. Harris did have a sociopathic personality and Klebold a depressive one. They definitely hid a lot from their parents.

Before Columbine, no one could imagine such a tragedy. Unfortunately, the real tragedy is that mass shootings and school shootings still keep happening. Often these shooters come from stable homes--the common denominator is GUNS. If we actually had gun control, we wouldn't have so many dead kids.

I think this is the key. I saw the interview but haven't read the book yet. She absolutely didn't come across as the out of touch, distant, cold parent I thought she would be. Based on what she and others observed in her son, I don't think warning bells for suicide were going off and certainly neither she nor anyone else could have had any inkling of the massacre that was to come.

Like many parents, she didn't know her own child. Period.

I think you're wrong. This was shortly before the massacre. This kid doesn't scream mass murderer:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I watched the 20/20 interview with her. I used to think she was in complete denial, however, there are a lot of things that sent off warning bells, but the parents of both kids did try to intervene. Harris did have a sociopathic personality and Klebold a depressive one. They definitely hid a lot from their parents.

Before Columbine, no one could imagine such a tragedy. Unfortunately, the real tragedy is that mass shootings and school shootings still keep happening. Often these shooters come from stable homes--the common denominator is GUNS. If we actually had gun control, we wouldn't have so many dead kids.

I think this is the key. I saw the interview but haven't read the book yet. She absolutely didn't come across as the out of touch, distant, cold parent I thought she would be. Based on what she and others observed in her son, I don't think warning bells for suicide were going off and certainly neither she nor anyone else could have had any inkling of the massacre that was to come.

Like many parents, she didn't know her own child. Period.

I think you're wrong. This was shortly before the massacre. This kid doesn't scream mass murderer:

You've got to be kidding me. A 13 second clip is how you think you know a kid? Please don't tell me how old your kids are.