Whatever happened to Klebod and Harris' parents?

[Anonymous]

The Columbine shooters - what has happened to their parents?

Am just thinking of the thread of blaming the mother, and how people I think did blame the parents from Columbine. There were lawsuits, yes? Or no?

I think I recall hearing one set of the parents had moved, but the other had not? Have they ever publicly discussed their sons? Were there any answers from those parents?

Years ago I read the book "we Need to Talk about Kevin" a novel about the mother of a high school shooter. It's never fully left me - there's a scene in the beginning, the mother has not left the town and she is grocery shopping She sees one of the mother's of one of the victims, and finds the carton of eggs she had placed in her cart smashed and dripping into her cart.

The mother in this shooting is dead, a victim, though some would place some level of blame with her. The brother reportedly hadn't seen the killer since 2010. The father divorced the mother. A relative of the mother (and thus a blood relative of the murderer) has been quoted in the media. How do you live with this? What level of blame do you assume?

What happens next for them?

[Anonymous]

one of the parents wrote about an article concerning her son and the shooting a few years ago for O magazine

[Anonymous]

Here it is

http://www.oprah.com/world/Susan-Klebolds-O-Magazine-Essay-I-Will-Never-Know-Why

[Anonymous]

Is that the article where she said she hoped her son had taken his own life when she first heard about what had happened and didn't know he had killed himself?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think I remember reading that, actually, now that I've just (re?) read it. What I remember is feeling dissatisfied. It doesn't actually say anything except I had no idea. She writes of some vignettes - holding his face in her hands, talking to him about how much he is loved. But can you really really miss 2+ years of depression and suicidal thoughts? (My kids are younger, so I've not faced teenagers). Can you really miss every single warning sign? Can there really be no warning signs?

It's speculated Klebold was the follower, right? And Harris the more dominant personality?

I think everyone, after something senseless happens, wants to know why. And just hearing that people are mentally ill isn't enough. That's not why. There have to be reasons why. Because of there are reasons why, then we can work backwards and figure out how to stop this from happening again. We have to stop this from happening again. We can't accept these things just happen.

[Anonymous]

The author of The Noonday Demon wrote a new book with a section about this. I think it's called Far From the Tree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Columbine shooters - what has happened to their parents?

Am just thinking of the thread of blaming the mother, and how people I think did blame the parents from Columbine. There were lawsuits, yes? Or no?

I think I recall hearing one set of the parents had moved, but the other had not? Have they ever publicly discussed their sons? Were there any answers from those parents?

Years ago I read the book "we Need to Talk about Kevin" a novel about the mother of a high school shooter. It's never fully left me - there's a scene in the beginning, the mother has not left the town and she is grocery shopping She sees one of the mother's of one of the victims, and finds the carton of eggs she had placed in her cart smashed and dripping into her cart.

The mother in this shooting is dead, a victim, though some would place some level of blame with her. The brother reportedly hadn't seen the killer since 2010. The father divorced the mother. A relative of the mother (and thus a blood relative of the murderer) has been quoted in the media. How do you live with this? What level of blame do you assume?

What happens next for them?

I own that book. It is sitting in my nightstand. Im not sure if i can ever bring myself to read it.

[Anonymous]

I can imagine missing two years of signs. If you are inexperienced in mood disorders you wonder what is normal vs what isn't in teens, especially boys. My husband was a depressed teen. He hated school, imagined "blowing it up", had no friends and was sullen and withdrawn from the world. His mother had no experience with depression and in those days therapy and medication were pretty much unheard of where he lived. Now he's a high level govt employee that got there as a result of his people skills, go figure. Anyway, everything about his teen years screamed hs massacre, but his mom just thought he was a loner. So I do see how it could just be missed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think I remember reading that, actually, now that I've just (re?) read it. What I remember is feeling dissatisfied. It doesn't actually say anything except I had no idea. She writes of some vignettes - holding his face in her hands, talking to him about how much he is loved. But can you really really miss 2+ years of depression and suicidal thoughts? (My kids are younger, so I've not faced teenagers). Can you really miss every single warning sign? Can there really be no warning signs?

It's speculated Klebold was the follower, right? And Harris the more dominant personality?

I think everyone, after something senseless happens, wants to know why. And just hearing that people are mentally ill isn't enough. That's not why. There have to be reasons why. Because of there are reasons why, then we can work backwards and figure out how to stop this from happening again. We have to stop this from happening again. We can't accept these things just happen.

Hdn't they been bullied by the "in" crowd? The star athletes, cheerleaders, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think I remember reading that, actually, now that I've just (re?) read it. What I remember is feeling dissatisfied. It doesn't actually say anything except I had no idea. She writes of some vignettes - holding his face in her hands, talking to him about how much he is loved. But can you really really miss 2+ years of depression and suicidal thoughts? (My kids are younger, so I've not faced teenagers). Can you really miss every single warning sign? Can there really be no warning signs?

It's speculated Klebold was the follower, right? And Harris the more dominant personality?

I think everyone, after something senseless happens, wants to know why. And just hearing that people are mentally ill isn't enough. That's not why. There have to be reasons why. Because of there are reasons why, then we can work backwards and figure out how to stop this from happening again. We have to stop this from happening again. We can't accept these things just happen.

Hdn't they been bullied by the "in" crowd? The star athletes, cheerleaders, etc.

This is a contested issue. A friend of the boys said that they were bullied. A reporter who investigated the issue found that they weren't bullied, but that Harris was prone to bullying himself. Harris was a sociopath. Klebold was depressed. Harris had a severe case of megolomania and wanted to prove his superiority to the whole world. He was deeply angry that no one recognized that he was God-like and better than everyone else. Klebold got sucked in to the fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think I remember reading that, actually, now that I've just (re?) read it. What I remember is feeling dissatisfied. It doesn't actually say anything except I had no idea. She writes of some vignettes - holding his face in her hands, talking to him about how much he is loved. But can you really really miss 2+ years of depression and suicidal thoughts? (My kids are younger, so I've not faced teenagers). Can you really miss every single warning sign? Can there really be no warning signs?

It's speculated Klebold was the follower, right? And Harris the more dominant personality?

I think everyone, after something senseless happens, wants to know why. And just hearing that people are mentally ill isn't enough. That's not why. There have to be reasons why. Because of there are reasons why, then we can work backwards and figure out how to stop this from happening again. We have to stop this from happening again. We can't accept these things just happen.

Hdn't they been bullied by the "in" crowd? The star athletes, cheerleaders, etc.

Think so. This or the sense that they were excluded has been the case with some workplace and school mass killings also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can imagine missing two years of signs. If you are inexperienced in mood disorders you wonder what is normal vs what isn't in teens, especially boys. My husband was a depressed teen. He hated school, imagined "blowing it up", had no friends and was sullen and withdrawn from the world. His mother had no experience with depression and in those days therapy and medication were pretty much unheard of where he lived. Now he's a high level govt employee that got there as a result of his people skills, go figure. Anyway, everything about his teen years screamed hs massacre, but his mom just thought he was a loner. So I do see how it could just be missed.

We need to do better on mental health issues in this country. We need to provide a lot more education on when people, especially young adults, need intervention. We also need more community resources to make mental health care available to families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here it is

http://www.oprah.com/world/Susan-Klebolds-O-Magazine-Essay-I-Will-Never-Know-Why

She's the one that went to get her hair done the next day or two days later.

Seriously? Fuck her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think I remember reading that, actually, now that I've just (re?) read it. What I remember is feeling dissatisfied. It doesn't actually say anything except I had no idea. She writes of some vignettes - holding his face in her hands, talking to him about how much he is loved. But can you really really miss 2+ years of depression and suicidal thoughts? (My kids are younger, so I've not faced teenagers). Can you really miss every single warning sign? Can there really be no warning signs?

It's speculated Klebold was the follower, right? And Harris the more dominant personality?

I think everyone, after something senseless happens, wants to know why. And just hearing that people are mentally ill isn't enough. That's not why. There have to be reasons why. Because of there are reasons why, then we can work backwards and figure out how to stop this from happening again. We have to stop this from happening again. We can't accept these things just happen.

Hdn't they been bullied by the "in" crowd? The star athletes, cheerleaders, etc.

This is a contested issue. A friend of the boys said that they were bullied. A reporter who investigated the issue found that they weren't bullied, but that Harris was prone to bullying himself. Harris was a sociopath. Klebold was depressed. Harris had a severe case of megolomania and wanted to prove his superiority to the whole world. He was deeply angry that no one recognized that he was God-like and better than everyone else. Klebold got sucked in to the fantasy.

And there are several videos of them with friends. They weren't total loaners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think I remember reading that, actually, now that I've just (re?) read it. What I remember is feeling dissatisfied. It doesn't actually say anything except I had no idea. She writes of some vignettes - holding his face in her hands, talking to him about how much he is loved. But can you really really miss 2+ years of depression and suicidal thoughts? (My kids are younger, so I've not faced teenagers). Can you really miss every single warning sign? Can there really be no warning signs?

It's speculated Klebold was the follower, right? And Harris the more dominant personality?

I think everyone, after something senseless happens, wants to know why. And just hearing that people are mentally ill isn't enough. That's not why. There have to be reasons why. Because of there are reasons why, then we can work backwards and figure out how to stop this from happening again. We have to stop this from happening again. We can't accept these things just happen.

Hdn't they been bullied by the "in" crowd? The star athletes, cheerleaders, etc.

This is a contested issue. A friend of the boys said that they were bullied. A reporter who investigated the issue found that they weren't bullied, but that Harris was prone to bullying himself. Harris was a sociopath. Klebold was depressed. Harris had a severe case of megolomania and wanted to prove his superiority to the whole world. He was deeply angry that no one recognized that he was God-like and better than everyone else. Klebold got sucked in to the fantasy.

I think the book supports this idea far more than bullying.